There's always one... In every hostel, every club in Brighton, on every beach, in the town... A Mentalist. Usually can be distinguished amongst the rest by the length of their hair, the least amount of clothing worn/a weird combination of clothes, their smell?! Whether their holding a bottle of naughty juice in a paper bag, and if they are shouting random abuse at nobody. The 'Mentalist' staying at this particular place, is some crazy Tarzan look alike... Only with a crazy testosterone imbalance. He's pretty angry. 

I watched this long haired hippy dude swoop down the stairs like the missing link. To be fair, it did look pretty fun... He's got hate for someone. Just keeps hurling abuse at the fridge and into mid air. 

"TRUSTING THE WRONG PEOPLE, EH!" As he swings open the fridge... Then he storms off in his leggings, topless and bare feet, cursing another poor soul. 

At this stage I'm in hysterics. Slightly frightened. But giggling my head off. Cool story bro. 

I forgot to mention to you lot! We went out for some grub the other night... Visited the Raw Prawn Restaurant. Was pretty fancy actually... We spotted a dish on the menu earlier that day... 'Hop, skip, swim and jump! It was a mix of fillets, Emu, Crocodile, Kangaroo & Barramundi Fish. We order one each... However, only one turned up. Awkward... The waitress had made a mistake and not put 2 dishes through to the kitchen... Moses got all gentlemanly, and let me have mine first. Never eaten food so slowly in my life. I felt like a f***ing tortoise, hoping Mo's plate would turn up soon...?? Nope. 
I did enjoy the range of flavours on my pallet... phhhffftt! Nah, the croc was pretty good. I liked all of them in fact, I think I'm more of a white meat fan (different story when it comes to men... hehe)... Sorry where was I?! Ahh yes... 
All the meats were char grilled, layered on top of sweet potato mash, bok choy... And then the chef decided to drizzle some fancy 'jus' and fruity chutney on top...(gravy & jam). 
Mo's plate turned up... Mine was chilling out at this stage, my Bok Choy (cabbage) was shivering. We did feel like we were on Masterchef Australia, watching each other eat, intensely, waiting for the verdict. 

Then it came to the bill. Moses started scrabbling for tip dosh. 

"No."

"No tip?"

"That waitress had two things she had to do... Be smiley, and take our order. 80% of her job is taking orders... She failed. Don't tip." 

That was the first time I hadn't tipped in a restaurant. What a rebel?! I felt the power curse through my body like an evil sorceress, as I rose from my seat... Then I smiled at the waitress, and waddled off as quick as I could. 
 
Anyway, me and Mo went and booked ourselves a little Rainforest trip didn't we? They had some discount promotion thing going on too, which was a bonus! Saving the pennies ;) We left pretty early. 7.10am. That was a pickle after forgetting we were checking out that morning. Had to make a dash and book more nights... Which resulted in us switching rooms (six bed, squidgey mother f***er, 4 other travellers, 2 of them being a couple of weird American, possibly Canadian snotties.) Anyway, after the patient bus driver picks us up, we hit the road, collecting a load of other travellers on the way. 

It was a two hour drive to the main rainforest, however, we had a couple of stops on the way... Port Douglas being one of them (used to be a small fishing town, and now it's turned into a holiday resort joint, pretty swish). We moved on to a rainforest cruise, where we were searching for crocs and other wildlife. The guide was really informative. Told us heaps of information about the wildlife in the area, how they spot crocodiles... Crocs like to keep their temperature between 25-30degrees because they're comfortable, little dinosaurs. So they look for areas which are shaded to keep them happy & sweet. We only spotted a baby one... The adults were hiding (probably because they could smell their brother's & sisters inside me and Moses). 

The river we were cruising through was ever so LARGE. Big, green and muddy... You couldn't see through the water... This made Moses more nervous when I kept flinging my arm out the side to take a picture.

"I don't want your arm getting eaten by a f***ing crocodile!"

Haha, concerned Moses, looking out for me like a parent. After the cruise, we checked out some more of the rainforest. The funny dude who was driving us was pretty much a jungle expert. Basically, all the trees are having a big UFC style punch up to try and reach the sun. They all want the sun. But because there are so many tree competitors, they end up cheating the system... Strangling one another, tugging leaves and what not... The dude showed us how the vines hold on really tightly to the bark, using the tree as support ( because they're lazy wiggly b*****s, who can't hold themselves up). 

We also spotted a couple of weird bugs, some lizards, frogs, bats, huge flies! And the noises this jungle makes, are incredible. Later on, we visited this bug museum... Small place, millions of messed up bugs. I'm telling you, these were some King Kong mo fos... impressive, chunky bugs. The lass that owned the place showed us her Stick Insect collection. Walked past this cheeky plant a couple of times without even seeing them! 

"Watch out! There are stick insects on that!" 

f*** me, right?! 

Yep. She peeled these creatures of the plant... Holy s***, these b*****s were huge! Bigger than her hand! They were full on logs!! She asked if people would like to hold them... We had repellent on, which would knock them out, stone cold... So we couldn't. But we enjoyed watching the others wince at the creepies! They had a pretty tight grip too!! The woman had to use a fair amount of force to get them off! 

Whilst we were checking out this buggy joint, the driver was cooking us up a BBQ, by the rainforest stream. We met up with him after about 15mins... We had the choice between steak or Barramundi fish. Mo's had steak! I had fish! There was spare fish, so I nabbed it for me and Moses to share! Was so bloody good! Had a load of salad and nice grub to choose from too! Munching on BBQ goods in a rainforest... Not your standard activity, ay folks??! 
Ended up exploring a little, had a paddle in the cool stream... These cute, little fishies were chasing my feet. 
The guide showed me this sensitive weed, that when you touch it, it falls down for 20mins then springs back up. That was it... I turned into a small child after that, everyone else was getting on the bus, waiting to go... And I'm there smacking the f*** out of these weeds, giggling as they surrender to my hits. 

Over all it was an awesome day. Quite long... But the rainforest was yummy and fascinating! 

We've spent the past couple of days figuring out bank accounts (which are all set up!!) And how to get down to Brisbane... We reckon we'll use the train. Tons cheaper than Greyhound buses! They have a deal on next Tuesday, $29 Cairns to Brisbane...(90% off!!!) So we're gunna hold out till then, possibly check out some snorkelling hot spots around here! 

We got some munch the other day... We decided to try and recreate the amazing popcorn we had back in LA. Peanut butter & chocolate caramel popcorn. Found the popcorn, check! Found this healthy chocolate & Peanut butter spread, check! We tried a little of the peanut butter & chocolate spread... Oh my f***ing God. Our mouths immediately turned into deserts. All moisture had disappeared. I'm actually getting parched just thinking about it. It's actually impressive how someone has created something so gooey, but yet so dry. It was like placing a spoonful of flour in your moosh. BONE DRY. 

So now, we are left with this big ass five dollar mother f***er of a tub of dryness. We could use it as cement? Or, to dehydrate someone in a torture room? Tempted to send it back home to you guys, give you some challenges... 

Quote of the Day

Me & Mo looking at each other after experiencing the driest lick of spread... 

"I've got terrible cotton mouth"