Q) How do you sleep through loud, Swedish w**** sex at 3am? A) You don't. Some nasty ass Swedish, brunette, wannabe hooker got brought back to our room by the Aussie gentleman sleeping opposite me. At the time I was sleeping with my back to them, facing the wall... After a rustle and flop, I started hearing giggling, Swedish talk and then... Yes you guessed it, the moans. I don't wanna get too graphic, but my word! This lass was sure having a good time...

Good'day Nobbers, Big oophs, I've been enjoying 'the life of a bum' for far too long... As a result, I've neglected this blog, as if it were an ex pornstar who had gotten fat. So, you're wondering what me and the M.Hutch have been doing? Well, sit back and I'll tell you... After Brisbane (it hurts my brain to think back that long...) We decided to book ourselves a bus journey to Surfers Paradise (Gold Coast). Wooooaahhhh! Missed out a ...

When times are getting tough, I must always remember to remind myself of the girl who shared a lift with Moses and I... Mid conversation was quickly interrupted by the sight of this little ham planet girl, wearing a cat onesie, holding on to her teddy bear IPhone. She looked like a Care Bear who'd tucked into too many Kettle chips. I couldn't contain my giggle. Bite your lip moment indeed. "How did we spend 30hours on a train?" I hear you ask... Well fo...

Riddle me this, chums... What the Jeffery are we gunna do on a train... FOR 30 HOURS?? 

There's always one... In every hostel, every club in Brighton, on every beach, in the town... A Mentalist. Usually can be distinguished amongst the rest by the length of their hair, the least amount of clothing worn/a weird combination of clothes, their smell?! Whether their holding a bottle of naughty juice in a paper bag, and if they are shouting random abuse at nobody. The 'Mentalist' staying at this particular place, is some crazy Tarzan look ali...