And so one last throw of the dice before I go home and get a job. I'm serious this time. A trip to Germany with 4 Chorley boys, 3 of whom have tickets, the other is Scottish and me there to soak up the atmosphere of '10 German bombers' and 'No surrender to the IRA'. After 14 days of this the Chorley boys returned home and the men of glory - Ben and Jon arrived to find Messner under a bush whimpering and they demanded 10 more days of 'banter'. As there was so much banter on this trip I'm just going to get straight into the bullet points:  Things were going swimmingly until the car broke down. In Hull. In the ferry queue. We had to push the car onto the ferry up a spiralling 3 storey high ramp. The car was packed with stuff and it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. We celebrated by getting lathered, conveniently forgetting the fact we were now broken down. In Rotterdam  We got the car fixed but now one of us at 8am in an inebriated state decided to lock the car keys in the car. It took 3 days for the spares to arrive and we wore our filthy England shirts for the whole time. I would describe our state as 'repulsive'.  I went to watch four separate England games in Germany at the fanfests and every time returned to my tent with blood on my shirt. The most worrying thing is after a brief inspection of my torso on each occasion the blood wasn't mine...... This has prompted thoughts I may be a secret hooligan.  Stalking BBC1 commentator, Jonathan Pearce (who also has Robot wars and 'Honey monsters at the back post' on his CV) to the point he accused us of being wired up and working for the Daily Mail in an attempt to frame him.  After the Trinidad and Tobago game I awoke with all my clothes ripped a la the Incredible Hulk. I also had bites and scratches all over my legs that promptly turned septic causing my lower legs to swell to three times their normal size. I went to a pharmacy to get some anti septic and paid for what I thought to be the correct ointment. Only after 3 days of no improvement did I go to a first aid post to be told I was in fact applying toothpaste to my wounds. A cursory sniff did in fact unveil a minty aroma..... This is about all the printable banter we had but the list goes on and on and Ariston. All in all a good time, I return a shell of a man but these things have to be done. Don't they? Right kiddas back to reality and all that jive. Tearful over and out Si x