Fix Bayonets, Man the Trenches - WW4 in Charters Towers - 23rd to 25th July

Muttabuttasaurus! Muttabuttasaurus! Muttabuttasaurus! There I have got that off my chest. Ever since coming across the Muttabuttasaurus in Hughenden I have had the name stuck in my head and Trish has heard me say it soooo many times. Say it out loud 10 times and you will be hooked too. I dare you!

The ride from Hughenden to Charters Towers was interesting and uneventful. The only problem stopping for a short lunch break is that everyone wants to talk to us when they see the bikes and trailer so a short break always stretches out into an enjoyable longer chat. On arrival and after booking in we noted that there was a fundraiser meal on in the camp kitchen that evening and as it was for the Flying Doctor decided to join in. Nothing flash but an easy meal after a day's ride.

The only thing we didn't count on was that there is a fundraiser meal on in the camp kitchen going from 5:30pm when they start to cook until 7:00pm when they finish cleaning up. The next one being a hamburger night. No problem if they are using the B-B-Q I can use the 4 burner gas stove. Looks like they have a well equipped kitchen. Have you guessed where this is heading yet? Anyway come tea time and having waited until it appeared that most people had been fed we headed over. The large B-B-Q was hot and only one end was being used for the last few hamburgers. On enquiring if I could put my kebabs on the other end the Manager of the park got a bit surly so I asked "This is the camp kitchen isn't it?" The old grouch grumpy replied "you had better not contaminate this other end" Perplexed I explained I had a Teflon sheet that I use and went off to get it. As I returned he deliberately pressed 4 burger patties onto the end I was going to use even though there was plenty of room on the other end. The first shot of WW4 was just fired. No problem I have my frying pan and there is a 4 burner cooktop not being used so off I trotted to get my pan.

My approach to the cook top was thwarted by a snarling, slobbering warthog of a man who said that I couldn't use that as it was a food preparation area. On enquiring I finally worked out between the snort and grunts that this would happen most nights and we either finish eating before 5:30pm or wait until after 7:00pm when they had finished. WW4 was officially declared! Any attempts to explain that we booked in in good faith because of all their advertising of a camp kitchen, we were travelling on Motorbikes and had no other method of cooking. That was when I found out that warthogs have very thick skin but get even grumpier if you poke them. After poking a couple more times I realized it was time for a tactical retreat and time to plan a new strategy of attack. Guerrilla warfare I think.

We returned to cook later but already the plans were being laid for a counter attack. The following night was to be one of the rare nights where the management didn't take over the entire kitchen. More from the War Correspondent later. Now the travel writer.

A trip into Charters Towers and to the information centre gave us an insight into this neat and pretty little town but also realized that there is not a massive amount to see. Trish needed to get more medications and as her prescriptions were running out made enquiries with the chemist and we could either see a doctor in town for a new script or have one faxed through from Kelmscott. We soon found out by visiting both Doctor surgeries that there were no appointments for two weeks as they were very short of doctors. She could wait in line for 3 - 4 hours at the Hospital, so we opted for the fax method.

Washing day, which we do about every ten days turned out to be lengthy and eventful. One of the washing machines was leaking and water was all over the slippery floor. Washing and detergent was placed into our first machine and coins pushed in to the sound of the slowest trickle of water that you could ever imaging would fill a washing a machine. Wanting another machine as well we waited while a little old lady complained as she took her washing out, that it was all still quite wet after spinning. In went our other load and coins pushed in. Trickle, trickle, trickle! I thought I would time it. 15minutes to fill before starting washing. When it did it started at Rinse, completely skipping the wash cycle. Trish went off to complain which was better than me going and meeting up with the warthog. When the first machine finished the wash cycle and went into the rinse cycle it went back into the trickle ( another 15 min ) fill. It was then that I realized the old woman had taken her clothes out thinking they were finished and we got her rinse cycle. The warthog tried to tell Trish she would have to find the woman before us and get our $4 back from her. After telling him "That is not a very good attitude mate" and giving him a look that would melt any warthog he rethought and handed over the $4. Round 1 of WW4 won by the warthog; round 2 goes to Bensley!

Tea in the camp kitchen was a hoot, with all the people who are not into organized grey nomad meals came out to cook. Everyone chatted, cooperated around the stove, B-B-Q and sinks. Then we ate, sipped wine, ate, sipped wine and chatted with some really nice people from down Melbourne way. We were starting to think, before we met these people, that all Victorians came north for the winter and just sat in their chairs outside their vans with their obese dogs. Not this lot, they were fun and then the ex- IT man in the group hacked into the sound system, which was playing bland grey nomad music, and put on some rock and roll from his Ipad. The volume went up and I was wondering how long it would be until the Taliban arrived but in the mean time we danced and had fun. Final the Taliban did arrive but luckily not the ones who dispense Sharia Law. You must realize it was now 8:30pm and people were trying to sleep. Anyway he didn't shut it down but asked us to turn it down a bit. Taliban with a sense of fairness - wow.

Update from your war correspondent - no sense trying to negotiate with the Taliban so it was time to fire off a report to a Park reporting site that a lot of travellers use, time to fire off an email to the Franchisee of the so called friendly Family Parks followed by some guerrilla activity that will not be explained and will be denied if asked about it. I received an email back from the Franchisee saying they would forward the complaint on to the owners before taking any action.

Final day Trish got her prescriptions thanks to a very helpful young pharmacist woman. We did a bit more sightseeing and are now ready to move on. Our fond memories are of the time we spent with the Victorian couples in the camp kitchen.

Dave "Into the Trenches"

PS here in Charters Towers they sometimes call it "Charters Towers - The World", because back in the gold rush days they thought it was the centre of the world. ? ? ? I think they need to get out and travel a bit.