Kunming

21-23 april.Having survived the george michael incident in the toilets in Chengdu, it was time to leave, so i caught an overnight train south to a town called Kunming, which is the capital of the Yunnan province (South West China).I had arranged to be collected at the station when i arrived at 8am, but there was no one to meet me.rather than get a taxi, i caught a number 3 bus for 1 yuan, which is about 7 pence and it drops you off more or less outside the hostel.once again this was charging around 2 quid a night for a dorm room, but this was bang in the middle of town.after checking in i went for a wander and came across a Carrefour supermarket that had some lovely fresh French sticks.Not having had fresh bread for ages, i decided to have a bit of a picnic back on the balcony of my room at the hostel, so i bought a tiny joint of some smoked ham as well.So off i go back to the hostel with my carrier bags, and as i walk in i notice a big sign that i had not seen before which tells you about the hostel policy on food and drink...........yes you guessed it, no outside food or drink. they were quite open and honest and said that basically the rooms are cheap as they make their money on the food and drink, so do not take advantage of just booking a cheap room.so now i am thinking where am i gonna eat all this food, and also, is everyone going to be looking at me when i get in.So putting on my best poker face i breeze in past reception and head towards my room..............................now closely followed by the cleaner who had obviously picked up om my "innocent" poker face.luckily the lockers in the room are very big, so i threw everything in just as the cleaner came in and then pretended to read a book as i stood there whistling and smiling.she gave me a dirty look, looked around the room and then left.determined to have my meal, i shut the curtains and then sneaked on to the balcony for my secret feast.then i realised just how i was going to slice a joint of ham, and tried cutting the french stick with a blunt knife and the crumbs went everywhere. i had no table, nowhere to sit, and had to keep one eye open for the cleaner.well i have to say it was a bit of a let down, and i hate having to rush food.there is really not much to do or see in kunming apart from a lake on the edge of town that has a mountain next to it with a temple carved high up the side, so i caught a bus out.all the buses anywhere in town are 1 yuan. The girl at the hostel had told me i needed to catch 2 buses, and that it would take about an hour and a half. as usual, i was the only westerner on the buses and no one spoke any english, so i was not sure where exactly to get off. I saw a cliff and some cable cars so decided to risk having to pay another 1 yuan on another bus if i was wrong.as usual, the place was deserted and there was a guy asleep. he was in charge of the tickets. after selling me a ticket, he woke up another guy who took me upstairs and put me in a cable car.but this cable car only goes half way up, you need another one to get to the top, which is of course more money, but this was more like a ski lift.i don't like cable cars at the best of times, but i don't mind them as they are completely sealed and you can't fall out, where as with a chair lift you can.And this one goes along the side of the mountain. To cut a long story short, i hated it, but it took me up the mountain to where it was much colder. I only had flip flops and shorts on so it was verry nippy.Once you get to the top, there is a small walk up to the summit, so thinking i could warm up at the same time, i decided to run up.AT the top there is nothing but the view and a sheer drop down one side. So i get to the top puffing and panting, and then forgot that not only am i very out of shape, but that also the air is much thinner, and decided to have a bit of a dizzy fit.Luckily it was not close to the big drop. So i head down towards the Dragon's Gate (the name of the temple), and that was even more money to get in, but it was well worth it.The tour ends up after a long walk, back at the first cable car, so i got my ticket out for the return journey, and she starts to shake her head. They know how to say "one way" and "pay more" in english though.Problem was that i had spent most of my money on beer at a nice little cafe at the top, so i did not have enough money to get down.After a bit of gesticulating, i discovered you can walk down the side, so off i went. It was supposed to take 3 hours, but i think they were lying a bit to try to get me to buy a ticket. i did my best mountain leopard impression, and shot down in 20 minutes.made it back in to town ok, and recognised a building near the hostel, so decided to jump off before my stop and have a wander in another part of town.It was a nice part that i found, but i got completely lost and then realised i had nothing with the hostel address or telephone number, and therefore had no way of getting back.I asked loads of people, but no one spoke a word of english.But then my SAS training kicked in, and i went looking for a number 3 bus. Find that and i find the hostel, as this was the bus i had caught from the train station.So i eventually i found a number 3 bus, and rather than pay the 7p fare, i walked behind it thinking i was really close to the hostel.Well i was, only problem is that i was following it back to the train station. Kunming is a massive city, so it took me ages to work out where i had gone wrong.Ironically i was just around the corner. Always the way.Apparently you can get a visa for Laos in Kunming, and i was actually a bit nervous about getting in to Loas, as i did not know where or how you cross the border, how easy it is to get a visa on the border etc. Also the visa place was not far down the road, so i learnt from all my mistakes and decided to go out on the lash instead, with some irish lads who had been drinking non stop for 2 days.i had a coach booked the following morning to take me to another town called Lijiang.Another early start and another long trip i was thinking as the next Bottle of vodka arrived on our table in the nightclub......................................next installment.................Lijiang and the Tiger Leeping Gorge.