Ensuring Chucky got a tip big enough to tell the tuk tuk driver the correct train station I was still amazed that i did actually arrive at the correct train station.

I was in loads of time as I was there before ten and my train did not leave until after midnight.

It was the same as Delhi, jam packed and chaos but not as well sign posted. I knew which platform but had no idea whereabouts the carriage would stop.

Bear in mind most trains have around 20 carriages, so you are screwed if you are the wrong end of the platform. Plus each carriage is so packed you can not walk from one to another like you can any other train so you have to make sure you actually get in to your carriage from the platform.

I started to panic a bit as each train coming in did not have signs on all the carriages, so was wondering how I would know when it did turn up.I asked a few different people and they all pointed to around the middle of the platform, so I decided to hang around there and then find a friendly face nearer the time.

Midnight came and went and each time I checked the signboard it just said delayed.

Once more I became nervous as timing to get to Kathmandu was extremely tight.

My train was due in at Gorakhpur at 8am the next day. There was then a bus ride to the border and then the bus to Kathmandu. To get the bus to Kathmandu that day I would need to be there before noon. Any delay in leaving would have a severe knock on effect, and arriving too late would mean either an overnight bus that gets in kathmandu at 4am or staying overnight at the border which is apparently a s***hole.

I tried to stay positive and walked to the information board to see for an update....

Yes it had now updated, train delayed, due in at 2.30am !

I was now cutting it to the wire for my arrival at the border, I could tell that this was going to be another trip from hell.

The familiar waft of wee finally arrived and I was praying that I would have a bunk and that it was not full up with a family. My prayers were answered as the carriage actually had a number on the side and my bunk was actually empty. I was shattered from having hardly any sleep from the engine room and it was now pushing 3am.

I had to put my rucksack on my bunk so it took up half the space, so I tried to sleep with my legs up in the air on top of it.

The train pulled away and the lights went off and I started to drift off in to the lovely world of sleep........

Lights on.

Apparently it was a ticket inspection. I could not believe the guard had a printout of every passenger on the train, he was carrying a mass of paper.

Electronic ticket I said as I struggled like a beetle on its back to get upright and recover my phone to show him.

He started to write something out in a book and then handed me a sheet.

Luckily the chap opposite spoke english, and told me I had to pay a fine.

Eh?

Fined for what?

No ticket.

I have ticket

You have printout?

No?

Then you have no ticket.

The website said as long as you have photo ID it was fine.

How much I asked?

20 Rupees.

This was like 20p so I did not even try to argue and coughed up.

Now can we get some sleep?

My friend Jonnie snores the worst I have ever heard, well that was until now.

Why cant it be the man down the other end of the carriage I huffed to myself as I scrabbled once more to get upright and retrieve my ear plugs.

It was like torture.

So another sleepless night.

As we approached the station I saw a western face I recognised from waiting in the station. In fact he had been the only other westerner apart from me.

I asked him if he was going to Kathmandu and he replied in very broken English that he was French.

But it was sufficient to communicate and it turned out he had made the trip many times before.

Get in!

Some good luck.

He was happy for me to travel with him.

Just as well as when we left the station I was convinced the bus stop was down to the right.

Nope it was left.

There was a bus waiting, typical style, about fifty years old, with natures air conditioning of no windows.

We gave our bags to get thrown on the roof and then Frenchy said he wanted coffee.

Having parted with our bags I was a little nervous to stray from the bus, but he went on a proper route march?

Cafe?

No.

Cafe?

No.

Chai no problem, cafe, non.

He was so chilled out it was untrue. A bit of a hippy type.

Finally he gave up and we headed back to what I was expecting was an empty space.

Amazingly it was still there and we jumped on and then had to wait for it to fill up until it was totally unsafe and then off we set.

There was no way we were getting to the border town before 1pm, then we also needed to get a visa, so I had resigned myself to not getting to Kathmandu that night and contemplated my options.

As we arrived at the border town it was like a scene from mad max.

I would never have found the immigration office between the two shops on the dusty dirty jam packed street.

We got stamped out of India quite quickly, and I was never so happy to leave anywhere.

Nepal will be much better I thought as we argued with the rickshaw driver over the agreed fare that had now doubled.

Immigration Nepal side was a little building with everything done manually and on paper.

I changed the last of my money there with the immigration officer that just got out his wallet. I dont think it was being done officially but I got a decent rate.

As we walked through in my mind I had a vision of a place with a number of sections, relatively well signed for buses, jeeps etc....

Non.

It was not really anything, just a dirt road with some shops opposite and the tsunami of touts approaching.

I knew that the overnight bus left from the public bus station about a mile up the road. A japanese lad approached us and asked for help so he stayed with us while we asked about getting to Kathmandu that night.

After a total pack of lies from the touts a rickshaw pulled up and I asked him to take us to the bus station.

Frenchy had decided to stay the night and probably get stoned and make love to ten women while singing some Hari Krishna, so Jap lad and i waved goodbye to him and negotiated a hundred rupees which was way too much and jumped on.

The road to the bus station as you will see from the pictures was like a war zone.

Just a dirt road with run down buildings all the way.

We pulled up near some buses and mr rickshaw said he was not allowed inside.

I pulled out a hundred to pay him just as the Jap lad did the same.

You could see the money signs light up in his eyes.

He thought he was getting double money.

I will get this I said, so he put his hundred back.

Talk about spitting his dummy out, he went bonkers.

I gave him my hundred and he screwed it up and threw it at me shouting insults.

I was half inclined to punch him, but thought ok, so I picked the money up and walked off.

A bus driver who spoke really good english asked us where we were going.

When we said Kathmandu he said ok, leaving now hurry up.

I was shocked.

Really?

Arrive tonight?

Yes tonight. You take this bus half way then I put you on another bus to Kathmandu.

Arrive at ten PM.

Given my welcome from the rickshaw boy I was worried about believing him.

This was contrary to everything I had read.

My brain was going full speed when I got a tap on the shoulder and turned around to see two armed police men with mr rickshaw in between him.

Here we go I thought.

Mr bus driver asked what the problem was and then said give him the hundred back and then forget him.

BUT WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!

The Jap lad agreed and off we sped.

True to his word after four hours he took us to a mini bus that was off to Kathmandu.

Only this minibus took us to another minibus that was already looked over crowded.

We were pointed to the back where there was a space about six inches wide.

You gotta be joking!

Non.

This is the, last bus, take it or leave it.

I was worried I would get claustrophobia as the next leg was another four hours.

So in we crammed and I just about managed to get one bum cheek on the seat.

Luckily Jap lad was skinny but it was still ridiculous. I could not even lean back as there was no space.

The whole point of me doing the trip overland was the scenery on this leg of the trip.

Just before we set off it went dark.

Welcome to Nepal I thought.

Every part of my body was aching and my back was in agony, and then Jap lad went down super sick with the flu...

Brilliant, I am going to either get puked on or catch something worse than I already had.

But we were running really late and now I was panicking about arriving.

The hostel had told me that they shut at midnight and it was looking as we would arrive about half eleven.

The man next to me, well almost inserted in me, said that the bus drop was near to the hostel and we could get a taxi no problem.

Half eleven hit and we were still swerving up the mountain road.

Now I was super panicking.

The van pulled up in what looked like the middle of nowhere with only a single street light.

It was now quarter past midnight.

You have to give the driver more money as he is not surprised to stop here.

Brilliant, screwed already!

Where is the taxi I asked and was pointed to a dim amber light on the other side of the street. As we neared I saw a twenty year old battered tiny suzuki car with what looked like a fourteen year old sat asleep.

There was no time to think so I mentioned the street and he looked confused.

I was a minute off having a heart attack.

Luckily some police or troops came over and explained where it was.

The passenger door did not open from the outside as it was knackered, so we squeezed in and off we set.

It was like the end of the world when we pulled in to the street.

No street lights, people making fires on the pavement, drunk people staggering around and lots of beggars.

I was really scared, more scared than I had ever been before.

Jap lad was a waste of space as he was just being poorly.

Where is the hostel I asked?

He pulled a face as he did not know.

Another taxi was parked up further down so I asked him and he said further down.

I was in a blind panic now and started shouting at poor old Jap lad to hurry up.

There was a policeman luckily further down and he pointed me back to the spot where the taxi had dropped us.

It can not be. There was only a passage way with no signs and it had no lights and was totally dark.

I got half way down terrified in the dark and remembered the torch given to me as a leaving present.

I fumbled in my rucksack and managed to find it.

A slight relief amongst the panic.

My heart was going at about a million beats a minute.

Further in to the darkness we went. This did not look like anywhere where there is a hostel, just a back alley.

And then towards the end we saw a building with a light.

I ran towards it and saw the sign for the hostel but it was a big steel gate that was closed with no signs of life.

I started shouting and banging the gate when I saw another sign saying entrance was around the side.

I ran around the side and heard people and saw lights and then all my dreams came true when I saw an open gate.

I was so happy it was still open.

In fact it was a party in full swing.

All that panic for nothing.

The room was thick with cigarette smoke and hippies which set off my cough (the cigarettes, not the hippies), and I had a proper coughing fit whilst trying to check in.

Jap lad had not booked anywhere but they were full so I asked if he could share with me.

Yeah man no problem.

When I got to the room it was a double bed but luckily he had his own sleeping bag.

It was a bit awkard as we sort of unpacked, clearly both thinking that we may rob each other during the night.

What a day,!

I had been travelling solid for 24 hours. I was beyond exhausted.

Luckily neither of us robbed each other during the night, and he cleared off as soon as we got up.

Now for some reason I had in my mind that Kathmandu was going to look like Tibet.

Couple of nice looking houses and buildings surrounded by mountains. Beautiful crisp mountain air and not a lot of people.

Oh and alot of monks.

Wrong.

It was like India but a little higher up. In fact I might go as far as to say it was worse than India.

I was in backpacker central, Thamel, but it was just non stop crappy tourist shops, dirty dusty streets and menacing people.

Oh, and the world's oldest and smallest taxis.

I remember as a teenager my friend had a farm and they bought a really old Nissan that had almost been scrapped to just mess around with in one of the fields. I think they bought it for fifty quid. Well I am sure that the exact same car was the one that gave me a lift back from the airport.

And the roads......not even roads just dirt tracks with pot holes bigger than the Grand Canyon.

Con Air

So, the purpose of my visit to kathmandu was really to see Everest and the Alps. I was never that fussed about climbing to the base camp, but had seen that they did flights around it. They were not cheap, but then I figured Everest is a once in a lifetime thing, so if you can get really close on a flight then you get to see all of it as well.

Due to the winds all the flights are at the crack of dawn, so I arranged with the hostel to book me for the next day for the 7am flight. This meant a taxi for 6.30 which they also arranged.

Knowing what hostels are like for locking everything up, I double checked with one of the brothers that owned it that I would be able to get out ok for half six.

Brother, we will even make sure we come and check on you if you are not down here for half six.

Yes of course you will i thought.

So I parted with my hard earned cash and paid for everything and headed off in to town to look for the Everest steak house where you could allegedley get a superb steak for about three quid.

Up until now I was shocked at how expensive everything was, especially the taxis, so was now on a cost cutting mission and an attempt to discover the true local Nepal, which I hoped was next to nothing.

Starting in one of the most heavily advertised tourist restaurants was probably not going to acheive this I knew, but I fancied a steak.

I never like restaurants that do not have any windows to the street, but I had not really seen that many had so in I went.

Just one? The waiter said as he gave me a dirty look.

Here, take the worst seat in the house next to the door you cheapskate is what I felt he was saying.

No. I am not sitting there and deliberately walked over to a big table and sat down.

What are you drinking i was asked as the hard stare continued.

Nothing I said, to annoy him more. Not really a good strategy before I got my food, but he was winding me up a treat. My crime was to be single, I could not believe how my lucky streak was continuing.

Surprise surprise the steaks started from six quid. First job tomorrow was to sue lonely planet.

I was a bit confused as the the menu had two pages and they seemed to look the same, but on one side the prices were cheaper, so I pointed out the name of the steak and resisted the temptation to murder the American couple next to me with my newly arrived steak knife.

Well I was actually surprised when my plate arrived with two big juicy steaks on it. This is actually very good value I thought as I slurped away, lonely planet is off the hook.

I asked for the bill and got out my 400 but when the bill arrived it was 700.

Here we go I thought and asked for the menu to check the price. I pointed out the one I had ordered.

That is a half steak, you did not ask for a half steak.

Now I felt a right pratt as it dawned on me why the two pages were exactly the same, and as I looked in detail it clearly said in large print half a steak.

Luckily I had just enough on me and tried to make light of it embarassing myself even more. The Americans looked at me and started talking under their breath....where was my steak knife I thought.

So another fun packed day was had by all.

I set my alarm for quarter to six and made sure I was downstairs for quarter past.

As I turned the corner towards reception I just saw pitch black and a big padlock on the door.

I knew it I knew it I knew I shouted to myself as I rattled the door.

The place was completely shut down.

But I thought to be fair I was early, give them the benefit of the doubt, so waited until half six and wound myself up a treat in the process.

I was panicking now the taxi would not wait and I would miss my flight.

So I just started banging on the doors and the windows, I did not care who I woke up.

A light went on and I saw some movement. yay!

The night porter who was a young lad rubbed his eyes as he gave me a questioning look.

Where will the taxi be waiting? I asked him.

He said nothing and looked at me even more confused.

My joy was short lived. It was now half six and there was no taxi.

The poor lad got all my frustration with both barrells.

I need to be at the airport NOW! I shouted at him.

He started to make some calls but he kept shaking his heas as I kept looking at my watch.

How was I going to get to the airport, and on the flight in twenty minutes? It was never going to happen.

I was yet again about a minute away from a mild stroke.

Then he said sorry and just ran off in to the alley.

Now I was really confused. Where the hell had he gone?

Quarter two, ten two then I heard a car pull up and the lad ran back in covered in sweat.

I got you a taxi, no taxi at end of street, I had to go far. I am so sorry, go now.

Now I felt guilty for taking everything out on him, but there was no time for sentiment.

In to the 84 year old suzuki I jumped as the springs dug in to my back and off we went at about 4 mile an hour in to the morning haze.

I kept telling him Everest, Yeti, Everest, Yeti, to make sure he took me to the right terminal.

I ran up the passage and there was a big queue near the x ray machine.

Sod this I thought and just ran to the end of the queue and around the side as I only had my man bag with me.

They never said a word.

I saw the desk and just barged to the front trying to catch my breath.

Seven o clock.....late.....

She smiled at me and said no problem sir the flight is delayed, please take a seat.

At last I could breathe, I would make the flight.

We got taken to the small plane and off we went.

We started to fly down the along side the mountain range and the hostess was pointing them out from left to right. Everest was on the far right so was far ahead.

This is this mountain, and this is that mountain she said as we called along.

I was bored, they all just looked the same, plus we were a long way out and I just wanted to see Everest.

Then she said, now you can see Everest, you can go and stand with the pilot. So a usual everyone else ran to the front without any consideration for their fellow passengers to get a look.

Any chance I could get to look before we land I said to the Indian in front of me.

So there I am across the pilots chest looking in to the distance at about ten mountain peaks that looked a similar height.

I thought Everest would really stand out.

When do we get close I asked the hostess?

We are very close sir, see the one there at the back in the middle with the cloud next to it......that is Everest.

You are joking. The one about twenty miles away that looks like a dot?

Yes that is Everest, isnt it exciting she said.

Everyone else on the plane seemed excited so I did not want to be the kill joy.

if only we were in a plane that could fly close, Good job I have a big zoom lens I said to her sarcastically, but it was wasted.

What a waste of a hundred quid. It was no different to seeing it on a postcard.

I started to reflect back on my life and questioned what I must have done wrong in order to have been punished so badly on this trip so far.

Oh well, the next day I was off to Thailand to meet my friend, and I know I like Thailand, so was just looking forward to getting out once more.

I had the rest of the day to kill so went for a coffee.

Do you have latte I asked?

Yes.

Ok one latte please.

Sorry we do not have electric.

For Gods sake!

Next place I found was a nice garden. Do you have electric and a latte? I was now being clever.

Oh yes.

A cup of powdered crap mix was brought to me.

No, I asked for latte.

Yes latte.

That is not latte.

Yes latte nepal style!

Oh how I wished for Thailand to come quickly.

I went to the main square and noticed a pricey restauarant but it advertised free wifi so I thought I could catch up with my emails.

I ordered a Ghurka beer and some overpriced chicken and tried to log on.

What is the password I asked as my beer arrived.

Sorry sir, internet not working.

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I went to the hostel and gave the owner my thoughts on the events of that morning.

The problem was I had to leave early again the next day and did not want a repeat.

He was really apologetic and said he would personally meet me in the morning to put me in a taxi.

Yes of course you will I thought.

I went in search of the local dish which was beef in dumplings and for once actually found a really cheap local place that had them for next to nothing.

They were pretty disgusting.

Roll on Thailand I thought.

So next day as I packed my bag I was wondering what I would use to break all their windows when I got downstairs to find everything closed again.

Shock horror, the lights were on and the owner was there to meet me, AND the taxi was waiting.

Hallelujah, hopefully now things were going to start getting better as I boarded the flight for Bangkok..........