So we are on the road again, 4 adults, three children and an infant.

We decided to do things differently this time. We (the dads are driving and the mums are the human navigation equipment) are driving and we intend to camp in solitude! The only issue is, my sister and I do camping differently, we require basic necessities such as hot water, decent queen sized bed with inner spring mattress, tv, internet connection, a solid structure with walls……. you get my drift.

I don't do camping, neither do I like sharing bathrooms with people (male or female) I don't know. I don't enjoy cooking over an open fire, I have done it heaps of times during my relatively short life and have concluded that there is nothing exotic about it.

A good compromise presented itself, a self catering accommodation at the Coorong National Park. We spent four days there, trying to do as little as possible. One day an opportunity presented itself to kayak, I was a bit fearful that they might be carried into the ocean and beyond ( yes, laugh at my ignorance). There was no need for fear, the three family members called A,B and C didn't go far from the shore. They maintained a continuous circular trajectory a couple of meters from the waters edge within full view of all the residents inhabiting the other cabins. I will say that member B had the capacity to go further, however he has a loyal heart and he chose to remain with his fellow comrades. Member C, would stop intermittently to eat plaintain chips (hoping for a burst of energy, Popeye style perhaps?), while attempting to maintain his balance in the kayak with his legs. They blamed everything (wind, kayaks etc) for their lack of propulsion.

I had to agree with them, it was the safe thing for me to do.

Fortunately the rest of our stay was uneventful, if you exclude family board games. With us you win or loose, no one wants to protect anyone's emotions or ego and there is no reward for the diligent loser. It must be our Nigerianess, we have no word for political correctness in our Igbo language.Monopoly has the worst effect on them, my family group do not consider monopoly a game, it is a fight to the death, opponents are to be crushed and loosing is not an option. I kept out of it, I have not played Monopoly since I bankrupted CHILD 1, he is still dealing with the trauma and I am still relishing my classic win. CHILD 2 always wins, she keeps track of all her properties and collects rent with the efficiency that will be better suited to keeping her room tidy. I intend to re-enter the battle ground when we get to our next stop - the Grampians. Right now I am strategically plotting annihilation.