We arrived Halls Gap, Grampians during the peak tourist season. This is my family's 3rd visit and Onyi and Nimi's first. we have not seen this much human traffic here before. Everyone is smily, friendly, and strolling around. It's not bad, it's just eerily similar to Christmas. It's like the town got stuck in holiday setting and cannot reset itself.

We are staying in cabins at the caravan park. Their 2 bedroom cabins meet our camping requirements. Better still, it gives us the opportunity to stick our noses in the air and act superior each time we walk past other tent dwellers to our 'deluxe' accommodation.

I need to clarify that we still pack as though we are staying in the middle of nowhere. I do not wish to be caught out without enough lettuce in a strange land so we left Loxton with a box of vegetables, a box of fresh stone fruit, cooked stews, cooked soup, Semolina, fried rice, jollof rice, uncooked rice, pasta, flour to make pancakes, akara (bean cakes), akamu( custard to eat with the akara, hand-blender (to blend tomatoes in case,) God forbid, we ran out of stew, extra meat to cook the stew with if that happens, and 2 boxes of pantry items including milk, soy milk, 3 types of cereal, ……

A certain family member had a few things to say when he saw all he had to load into the car, I won’t repeat it here. This same family member once insisted on going on holiday with our TV because “I have to watch the FIFA soccer world cup on good quality TV and there is no guarantee that the …. accommodation has a good quality tv”. So the tv was carefully wrapped, packed and transported to our destination!!!! Fortunately I did not resist, this was in 2010 and while the place had a 'normal’ tv he was able to watch the world cup in the manner to which he was accustomed.

Our first activity was adventure mini - golfing. I was winning until my sister and I had to leave after the 14th hole to get lunch, then miraculously our scores went down. Match fixing and score manipulation began in earnest(the culprits denied this). We didn't stand a chance after that, we both lost woefully but with grace.

Day two the Mackenzie affair.

So we decided to visit the Mackenzie falls. We have done it years ago and I didn't think it was that hard. Trouble started before we got there, I was reliably informed that while the husband of a certain family member drove, she held on tight to her seat and used her right leg to continually depress an imaginary brake pad on the drive up the windy road. The fact that she was meant to enjoy the view was secondary, she needs a couple more years of marriage to realize that when a MODH (Man of the house) is behind the wheel on a windy road, they become deaf to all pleas and navigation instructions and the only option available is to relax and pray.

We arrived the Mackenzie walk carpark in one piece and I noticed with relief she still had her wedding ring on. As we set off on foot the same individual repeatedly asked me ‘Please why are we doing this??’

The falls are still great this time of the year, and the walk safer too since the stones are dry. The noise of the waterfall, the beautiful scenery and the walk back is to die for. Literally I felt as if I was going to die coming back up.It is a fairly easy walk down to the base of the falls, however the walk back was another story entirely. A family member’s question ‘Is triple zero within range here?’ was a direct echo of my thoughts. I had fun skipping down the steep steps into the gorge and waterfall base with ‘I believe I can fly’ playing in my mind however I was really wishing I could fly when it was time to climb out. I felt every minute of my forty plus years.

At the end of the day, our experiences were varied

‘We should do this every morning’

‘Trouble dey sleep nyanga go wake am. (Meaning we are deliberately courting trouble)

‘This is easy, I did a hike with 25kg backpack on my back for school camp’

‘I need to eat some semolina and soup, washed down with cider to get over this torture’

‘How many calories do you think we burnt?’

You said it was a hike, this is torture

‘I am going to die’,

‘I can't feel my knees, I can't feel my knees, oh God! I can't feel my knees!!!!

‘sorry’

'I am so sorry'

'Drink water'

do you want to stop a bit’

‘take a break, no need to prove anything’

‘Oh my God, I am going to die’

My conclusion,

It was a beautiful day out with family in a lovely part of Australia. It was free, the children were tired and we got to make new memories together. Next stop more walking trails, if I am not lynched when we get back.