Where to begin on the journey from hell! Tuesday 9am got taxi into central Mumbai to pick up bus to Udaipur, which left at 1130. I decided that as the trip was 16 hours I'd treat myself and book a double sleeper bed, grand total still only 20 quid. The bus did not have air conditioning, but I figured that over night with windows open, it would be fine. Two hours into trip and still in Mumbai, back near where I'd been staying. At this point I should have had an inkling as to how the journey was going to pan out. A double sleeper is all well and good, but you have to actually lie down as sitting cross legged can get very uncomfortable. My preconceptions, I thought, were pretty realistic, but alas, multiply it by about 100 and it would be close. The roads were appalling and I was actually thrown out of the bed by about a foot, cracking my head on the very hard ceiling. If the other lane was in a better condition it appears to be the norm to drive towards oncoming traffic, involving lots of last minute swerving (and swearing on my part!). The drivers seemed to have a death wish or else they were relying on the little plastic deity stuck to the dashboard! I think a lot of Indian religions believe in fate and therefore it follows that you can be as reckless as you like because if you die, then it is obviously your turn. Comforting, eh? I found myself hoping that it was not actually my turn yet. At one point, on a particularly bad stretch of road, I saw a lorry overturn, not exactly improving my already petrified state. Then there is the juggling of fluid intake. Too much and you need the loo, not advisable as they were generally stinking pits, too little and you dehydrate. I survived on crisps and crackers, as an upset stomach would have been a nightmare. Next thing, the mosquitos. Despite being covered in repellent, I have about 20 as a pleasant reminder of my trip. Then, just when I was thinking things could not get any worse, they did. It was 4am and the bus stopped, with no option but to get up as the cafe owners banged on windows to get your business. Having braved the toilet, I decided a cup of coffee would be quite nice. For your information, both tea and coffee are served 50/50 hot milk and water with about 10 sugars in (you'd be alright Lee). They come in small glasses on a saucer and the liquid is poured into the saucer and you drink from that. My coffee arrived in a proper cup and saucer, which should have made me suspicious. I took a sip and not only was it incredibly sweet, but there was a strange taste to it. Luckily I decided to leave the rest as within 2 minutes I came over very hot and vomited. The owner actually shouted at me for not making it to the loo, but somehow I don't think the stench in there would have helped my stomach any. I shouted back and fortunately his English was not up to the task. At this point another passenger who spoke English asked if I was ok and informed me that this is quite a common scam. They target tourists and by making you ill they have the opportunity to nick some of your belongings. At this point I had to get back on the bus, feeling somewhat shaky, but after some water I started feeling ok. Yes I wanted to come home at this point and had a little cry - pathetic I know. AND THEY HAVE THE GALL TO CALL THIS BUS A "SLEEPER" - FAT CHANCE! Anyway, on the positive side......no can't think of any, other than I made it alive at 8am this morning. Booked into lovely guest house with own bath room and fan and all for the bargain price of 250 rupees a night. Slept for 4 hours and then came here before I forgot some of the details from my bad dream. All I can say is this place had better be pretty spectacular and DON'T EVER travel on a bus in India. Sherry xxxxx