So of course I landed in land of the KIWI on around 20th March not August I'm a wee bit behind alright. But calm down its on route...

So I'm on my 10th/11th flight this year so far on route to Christchurch, I'm actually looking forward to getting to New Zealand and starting my new life there and getting a job and earning money again. So its dead awkward for me when we suddenly land in Auckland… Erm wrong island guys. It turns out the weather was just 'terrible' in Christchurch. Whatever. So we're in Auckland for now waiting to head back to the right airport. I go on the hunt for food and a cash point. So I've just been in Asia for over 2 months so obviously I get a burger king, which is called Burger King and not Hungry Jacks. This side of the world messes with my head! So anyway it is like 8am so I get a kids club meal, I get Kiwis number 1 lemonade. LPs. It's the single most disgusting lemonade I have ever tasted, urgh. So anyways I scoff down my food and try to contact J9 to tell her where I am but no wifi. Awesome. So we get back on a plane and head to Christchurch, Yey. It's a miracle. So we land the weather seems perfectly fine.

I head through immigration, the form I'd just filled in asks if I have food or drink on me (no) and if I've been in the jungle recently (yes) so I get pulled out and questioned about my time in Borneo. I explain I have thrown everything I wore during that trip as they were a mess they seem happy with that so on I go through the last checks. My Backpack is placed on the scan machine and it beeps like f***. Uh oh?! So instantly an episode of Border Control on Acid kicks off and theyre all like 'Tracy did you understand the questions on your form' 'What food do you have Tracy' OMG its ridiculous I feel like the Feds have got me and Im gonna be sent down forever for no reason. I'm all like 'er yeah I'm not a idiot, I have no food' 'yes my bag has had food in it before I am a backpacker'. So like 100 Immigration patrol all stand round my backpack which has now been pulled off the machine, looking between me and the backpack as though they're expecting a steak bake from greggs to pop out of it at any second.

One of them bravely opens the bag and pulls out the offending item… the questions start again 'Are you sure you understood the questions Tracy' 'What is this food item Tracy' and then some logic from the Geordie. 'Mate it's a kids club meal toy - it's not food'. Its really weird because I then have to basically explain to all of these immigration staff who apparently have never been top Burger King in their lives that it is a toy you get when you buy kids meals. They scan it again to prove that's what set the beep off, but I really don't care it's a bloody toy. They 'warn' me to more careful in customs in future? Seriously mate your form don't mention don't bring any toys in even if they have been sitting on a burger for 10 mins. So this is the start of something that has became a common everyday experience to me 'Kiwi Logic' they have none basically. I think it might be because logic wasn't invented until the 80s with Duran Duran and they're not quite there yet over here in the isolated country.

So after almost being branded a criminal I find J9 hanging round the toilets (no change there) I'm so happy to see her! We then head off to her house in her car I'm so happy she picked me up. She also confirms the weather was find just a little cloudy when my flight should have landed. Doh. So I have a shower, she takes me to get a SIM card so I'm connected again with the world and we head for lunch. I discover that woolworths is called homebrand here?! Why! And I discover they will not serve you alcohol without a passport no matter what. d*** . I discover this when J9 tries to buy beer which gets taken off her. Obviously having a combined age of 52/53 is just not enough to purchase a beverage or two.

So in Christchurch in 2 days we go up the Gondola which is so pretty! Its lovely views, and we do a lot of selfies. The gondola is actually pretty scary though and it rocks a lot despite the fact its not bad outside! We go for a lovely drive up the hills to see some beaches, we go to Taylors Mistake which is a surfer beach its really pretty like dark brown sand not traditional aussie white sand beaches but really lovely. Actually very british looking. We also visit Container city which is all the shops that popped up when the city was destroyed in the earthquake. All these cool shipping container shops are all together and its really quirky but cool, there is a british lolly shop where I manage to get a double decker which cheers me up! The city is a horrible mess, basically just a big empty space it's so sad what a mess it is. There is a lot of cool graffiti dotted round the 'city' it's wicked a lot of it is in tribute to the earthquake victims. We also head to the Quake City the earthquake museum which is so interesting but also so sad yet again. It has these movies on about people who survived and their experiences of the actual event. Its crazy when you see the videos from the earthquake as the ground was literally shaking and moving like waves, it was so strong I cant imagine actually witnessing something like that when I'm living here. Apparently when there is a earthquake in Christchurch its so common the first question is 'what is it?' and they don't mean 'was it an earthquake' they mean 'what richter scale' which is just something I struggle to accept in my head. How can you choose to live somewhere, where this is such a normal occurrence? It doesn't sit well in my head at all. Which is also silly as I would never not go to London as it was bombed once. Or never not fly Malaysian Airlines after their recent disasters. But I think the earthquake thing is a little different and Christchurch does have a very sad feeling about it, which is why I couldn't live there and also there isn't much going on there for me. J9 did take me to the hills and mountains outside the city where all the pretty lakes are and it is so gorgeous round there but still wouldn't be enough for me to live there I need stuff!! So while it was lush to catch up with J9 I have booked myself a bus to Queenstown and I am offski in search of a new life!

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