Is it me?

It isn't me is it?

It must be the world.

If you are wondering why the photo is of a bare piece of floor, it is because this is one of the many places in the world where my luggage is not. That list may or may not include Kota Kinabalu International Airport's Left Luggage Services Department, but I cannot tell.

16 calls it took to get KKIA Left Luggage Service on the phone. Numbers not in service. Numbers unanswered. Numbers redirected. Numbers suggested by nearly helpful people, which turn out to be for other airports. Numbers for Lost Luggage Services.

Hi, do you speak english?
Yes

Can you help me get my bag back?
Yes

What time so you open in the morning?
Yes

Oh dear, you don't really speak English, do you?
Yes (nervous laughter)

I suggest we keep any flammable liquids away from me for a while. They may ignite.

I'm sure it will all be fine.