I did promise to lose weight while I was away, but not everyone got the memo.

My brain thought it sensible, my waist too, and even my heart bought-in, but my taste buds weren't at the meeting.

Theoretically my base line was 18 stone 11.5 pounds (120 kilos), but it was actually 19 stoneish, for reasons I won't bore you with. We know you can sustainably lose a kilo per week and I would be away for eight weeks, so 112 kilos (or 17 stone 6 pounds) should be do-able, yes?

Quite apart from sweating like cheddar left out on a hot day, I'm doing lots of active stuff, and eating healthily-ish. Sometimes I can genuinely feel a tendency to eat to my hunger, rather than to my desire, which is a big step forward for the future. So just one kilo a week should be easy, no?

On the face of it, I am doing rather well. I am down to 113 kilos, so well ahead of plan. So far, so good. The problem is that I've been as low as 110, so the trend is up, not down.

This evening's degustation menu may be accelerating the trend too....

Bad Tom.