It has been so long since we wrote I can’t remember what I last said so I will just write an inane stream of conscious (see if you can spot the difference to the other rubbish I have written!).
Brisbane is a sprawling city based around a bend in the river so we spent a lot of time crossing and re crossing rivers to get anywhere. We did catch a river bus to a free comedy evening (about the only thing that we have found in this whole country that is free or even cheap!).
We picked up the campervan and drove in a general north direction and found ourselves in Noosa, a very pretty little town with a great beach.
The following day we drove further north to a sh it hole called Tin Pan Alley whose only redeeming feature is that some wild dolphins visit each morning which we can than feed for free (only 5 dollars a head) I couldn’t work that one out either.
Tin Pan Alley was a terrible dump populated by very strange but pleasant people, a bit like the rest of Oz really, however we drove to a very small town called Baraga which was very similar to what I imagine the bible belt in the states to be. A most scary place inhabited by nutters.
After a scary night we decided to run to the tropical north to get away from the scary people and enjoy some sun. How wrong we were, we landed in a place called McKay and the people were just lunatics. They never went to bed and just sat chatting at 5 in the morning. They weren’t still up from the previous evening they had just got up and were sitting on their verandas in pitch black drinking coffee and chatting! Others were driving about throughout the night others were polishing their guns and praying to lord regarding salvation and angels of redemption. I may be exaggerating a little but not very much.
After 26 hours in a campervan we arrived in the north in Airlie beach to beautiful rain cloud, mist and lots of rain.
They have clearly not heard of motorways or dual carriage ways in Oz as the main highway up the highly populated east coast is single carriage way and full of death and destruction. We were slightly delayed by a large truck hitting a small car leading to someone being carried off in a helicopter. I don’t know how but the local news were there before the emergency services!
The amount of road kill was incredible. I have seen so many kangaroos in various states of decomposition it felt like I was in a Vietnam war movie – the horror the horror.
The road signs all highlight the dangers of driving whilst tired and how it will kill you. All the truck drivers are injecting amphetamine users with sharps bins in all the (very clean) public loos. Whilst I admire the harm minimisation approach and openish attitude to a serious problem I worry about a truck driver off his head on speed driving 100 tons of truck down a single track road at 80 miles an hour whilst I pootle along in my little campervan on the other side of the road.
At one point one of the roads forgot it was road and just ran out of tarmac! One moment we are driving along a road and the next we aren’t. A little confusing and scary also leading to a detour of an hour to find an actual road.
Other than dead kangaroos we have seen lots of sugarcane and lots of floppy eared cows roaming through woodland. I remember Skippy, the Whirly Birds and The Sullivans and feel I ought to sue the tourist board. I wanted vast plans full of live bouncing kangaroos saving little boys who fell down disused mine shafts.
Having said all this slightly negative stuff we did visit Steve Irwins’ zoo, a bargain at only £130.00 for a family ticket. We saw crocodiles and alligators all devouring lumps of meat accompanied by a jolly Australian man letting us know how deadly the creatures are and we are now terrified to move in case a herd of crocodiles are lying in wait for us around every street corner.
A nice walk in the rain forest was called for, what could possibly go wrong? Pathways along mountain tops with drops of hundreds of feet to the side, a huge tick burrowing into my neck, funnel web spiders and stinging trees (a whole tree not just a small plant or leaf – a whole huge tree), other than that it was fine.
This is a very big scary country full of contrasts, in parts it is beautiful in others terrible sprawling urban hinterland or acres and acres of the same crop. The weather was terrible this morning but glorious this afternoon. The wildlife is terrifying and incredibly cute, I will show you a picture of a koala cuddling its new born which even made me go “ahh”. Even the tick was interesting as it looked like Spiderman’s insignia.
The people are pretty good too, they all seem very helpful, very pleasant and without malice. It’s like Yorkshire on a sunny day.
Still I have around 3 more weeks of exploring to find some stuff wrong with the place and I’m fairly sure I will find the occasional thing wrong!
Oliver
Postscript.
Oliver has forgotten to go into detail about the trip to the rainforest which was our last day in Brisbane. We had to get up really early to get to the coach station to be collected by our guide “Ian” in a 4WD behemoth he called Eliza. He then drove us via the gold coast out to Springbrook National Park for a rainforest walk. This involved him giving an occasional half arsed commentary along the lines of “here you will find ....and that kinda thing”...”here you will find ...and that kinda stuff” – I think he knew what he was talking about but he lacked a certain amount of eloquence which he made up for with his affable nature. The day was a success. We saw much flora and fauna, waterfalls and spectacular views – we even went “near” where they film “I’m a celebrity get me out of here”. Woo hoo!?! Ian pointed out many things we would have missed if we had gone on our own including holes made by giant earthworms. My favourite bit of the whole trip was when the Chinese man who was in our party commented about the giant earthworms “mmm high in protein”.
Tiger’s highlight was clearly being able to hand feed some red parrots called Rosettas out of her hand and nearly exploded and we saw glow worms in a cave. We got back home very tired but full of fudge purchased from the obligatory stop at the rainforest fudge shop on the way home.
Jo