Today I met a God. It wasn't in Olympus, Heaven or Asgaard but in a small village, named Santiago, on the shores of Lake Atitlan in the Guatemalan highlands. His name was Maximo and lived in the converted living room of one of the village elders of the town(he moves to a new residence every year). In appearance he looked like a armless wooden dummy covered in shawls and scarves, wearing a hat propped up against a table, however if you stayed and watched a while you'd realise that there were no flies on Maximo. Many of the Mayan people in the village came to the house to pray/ask Maximo for favors and of course give him offerings so that these favors are enacted. For the honor of seeing Maximo I even had to give him a donation of two Gonzales (about twenty cents Australian). It must be borne in mind that I am an unworthy foreigner and his devotes know what Maximo requires to grant their wishes.......cigarettes and whiskey.

As you approach the first thing you notice is that the effigy that is Maximo has a lit cigarette in his mouth. As you observe for a while you notice that the nearby attendant occasionally ashes the cigarette - probably because Maximo has no arms or hands they were cut off a while back to prevent him performing witchcraft. After a while one of the faithful comes in and gives a small whiskey bottle to the attendant. With much ceremony and reverence the attendant removes the cigarette and extinguishes it in Maximo's ashtray. He then tilts Maximo back on the table to a more acute angle than his regular vertical posture, holds a cloth under his mouth and pours the whiskey down Maximo's throat. Once sufficient whiskey has been consumed the attendant dabs Maximo's mouth with the cloth (it doesn't do to have a dribbling God) and tilts him back upright. Without giving Maximo time to catch his breath the attendant immediately places a new cigarette in Maximo's mouth and lights it. Its worth noting that Maximo smokes Marlboro Gold........maybe they could uses the slogan "As smoked by Gods" in their next advertising campaign.

I forgot to mention Jesus was there too, he lived in the corner in a glass coffin. Occasionally Maximo was generous enough to let Jesus to give him a hand with some of his works, not that he needed help but just so Jesus didn't feel completely impotent......A few statues of other Catholic saints are also crowded against the rear wall opposite Jesus, I guess they are only there to learn from Maximo how it is done.