Executive Summary - Xi'an

• Saw: Big Goose Pagoda, Bell Tower, Drum Tower, Terracotta Warriors, Muslim quarter

• Did: Played foosball & air hockey at the terracotta warrior-themed hostel bar, tried all manner of street food, purchased my 3rd and 4th lens-cleaning pens, crossed traffic using locals as human shields in a manner reminiscent of the "Frogger" arcade game, negotiated public transport, danced at the 1+1 nightclub, avoided Kevin the tedious French Canadian, met some very fun Irish girls

• Ate/Drank: Instant noodles at a truck stop, fried rice, roujiamo (Muslim fried beef in pitta bread with spring onions, dripping in oil), steamed buns with pork inside, my first McDonald's in 2 years (oh the guilt...but it was freshly made), shredded 'rork' and fried 'chicked' (beak and comb included!), jasmine tea, mango smoothies laced with leftover Russian vodka, and in tribute to Michiel - a long island iced tea!

• Favourite part about Xi'an: Cliché, but the Terracotta Warriors were pretty cool (even if I was a touch hungover)

• Least favourite part about Xi'an: Rain on the first day dampened both desire and end efforts to do anything touristy-productive. And hangover on the second day dampened my tolerance for the 483 BILLION Chinese people that needed to see the Terracotta Warriors that day. Oh, the crowds! Make it stop! Bring back loud Russian pop music and the smell of smoked fish on the Trans-Siberian!

• Life-altering revelation which has contributed to my search for universal truth: It's ok to go out dancing till 5 in the morning as a 32 year old, but you will have to accept that it could put your back out a bit the next day.