Executive Summary - Guangxi Province (Guilin, Xingping, Ping'An)

• Saw: The inside of far too many bus terminals (and buses), many picturesque limestone mountains, the site of the 20 yuan note (and, it would appear, a packet of cigarettes), rural villages going about a (very) hard life in the rice fields, the 'frist village of the long hairs'

• Did: Knocked back 400 offers for 'bamboo? bamboo?' raft rides, walked from Xingping to Yangdi over the course of 5 hours, played choose your own adventure trying to find the right path to get to Yangdi, took 3 bamboo rafts to cross the river and get back to the hostel, watched the sunset from the hostel rooftop balcony, navigated 120 kms of actual distance using 3 buses taking about 5 hours, got lost between DaZhai and Ping'An 1400 times whilst hiking over the course of 6 hours, paid a woman 10 kuai ($2) to show us her long hair ('Long hair? Long hair? Photo?'), subsequently paid her acquaintence to guide us part of the way on the hike, taught a university student what 'bird in the hand beats 2 in the bush' and other irrelevant colloquialisms meant before learning he didn't know the difference between light as in weight versus light as in colour/energy.*

• Ate/Drank: The Best Eggplant Ever x 6 (stir fried with garlicky fabulousness), Pork stuffed eggplant (it's never what you think it's going to be), mushroom pizza, Yangshuo beer fish, fried potatoes in vinegar, dumplings with vinegar garlic sauce, Liquan natural beer, Great Wall dry red wine, bamboo chicken, fried noodles, pord shaslirs with zhuang sauce, stir fried leek with egg, bamboo rice, stir fried bamboo, pork in sweet vinegar sauce, Snow beer.

• Favourite part about Guangxi Province: The hiking (in retrospect, as always) and views were amongst the most stunning yet. Xingping was a lovely quiet town and the food was fantastic all across the province!

• Least favourite part about Guangxi Province: If I never have to return to Guilin it will be too soon. It's just one of those places where we were sick of being hassled and people trying to rip us off - plus dealing with humidity (carrying backpacks) just made for 2 grumpy Westerners.

And when a G&T is necessary, do you think they have any tonic water?

• Life-altering revelation which has contributed to my search for universal truth: No matter where you are in China, you can always pay someone to take you where you want to be.

*Good to see the Chinese education system is teaching the important stuff to its English students.