"As you will be my dog, your new name will be... Spot. Welcome to slavery"
"No thanks - I already had a wife"

-- From Dusk Till Dawn

"Do you love me, Fry?"
"Well, I love you as much as a man CAN love a woman"

-- Futurama

We've just spent a nice two days in Zhongdian, writing e-mails and reading books and pretty much doing nothing of interest whatsoever. It's been a nice change from the near constant death defying bus rides and small villages we've been in recently.

Zhongdian is a rather amusing place, as they are becoming a tourist destination due to their proximity to Tibet, Tiger Leaping Gorge and Kunming (the border crossing to Laos). As a result they are embracing this by building a brand new "Old City". It's great. There are these places called "Traditional Souvenier Shop Handed Down Through The Generations", where the paint is still wet. Next door the "Olde Traditional Trinket Store" is still under construction. They are also building a 12th century temple on the hill, that was no doubt a favourite of the late Chairman Mao on his frequent visits to the area.

The three of us ended up hooking up with some Generic Backpackers for the evening. By Generic, I mean the type that spend their time talking about the availability and cost of drugs in every part of the world. These backpackers don't show off about where they've been or what they've done, rather they are in competition for who bought the cheapest eighth of weed from where and how it enriched them as people.

We were sharing our room with one of these types, and American called Tyler. Now, Adam the American has asked me not to mention that Tyler was American as he fears it will do his people a disservice. By the same note, if anyone can find evidence that Tony Blair is from Uzbekistan I would be greatly appreciative.

When we woke up the next morning we found that Tyler had already got up, packed and left. This was impressive as we have started to wake up early for some reason and had only been asleep for 5 hours.

Then we found the note, which read:

"Guys, I've left early after all. Bit embarrassing really, but I drank and smoked so much last night that I wet the bed. If you're staying here another night, you might want to change rooms because of the smell. If you fancy hooking up again down south, e-mail me on @hotmail.com. All the best, Tyler"

Bless him.

Anyway, fun with Americans aside, we're off today to go and walk the Tiger Leaping Gorge, so may not update this bad boy for a few days. After that we'll be making our way towards Laos, so you can start to look forward to such literary greats as "China...A retrospective" and "China.... Rubbish Communists or Nasty Capatilists?"

In the meantime, I want to make the following wedding announcement.

My brother Dave, Olly and several other members of my glorious extended family (that's right Alex, I'm using 'family' now... Scared?) are off to Australia in the next day or two, as Olly and Amanda are getting married in Brisbane on the 9th September. This means that, in real terms, I'm going to have a lot less e-mails to read for a while.

Although I'm unable to make it to the wedding, as our plan to get to Australia without flying doesn't really gel with wedding schedules, I'd like to wish them a happy and joyous event....

What can one say about Olly? He posts comments here under the username "Tightbuns", something no other man I know would ever do. He used to be the most confident person I knew until I overtook him. And, he knows his Mario Kart - one of the greatest things one man can say about another.

And Amanda? Well, she has the holy trinity of being beautiful, intelligent and possessing a well paid job.... call me shallow but she had me at beautiful, intelligent and possessing a well paid job.

In all seriousness.... love you guys. All the best.

xxx