"You want some bacon?""Nah man, I don't eat pork""Are you Jewish?""No, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all""But bacon tastes good... Pork chops tase good""Hey, sewer-rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf***er. Pigs sleep, and root, in s***. That's a filthy animal"-- Pulp FictionWhen we got back to Chengdu we couldn't get a bed in Sim's place, or even the...

"Save the Panda, they say... We are! We're not shooting them, we're not eating them, we're not hunting them... But they're not meeting us half way are they? They're not shagging!" -- Ricky GervaisWe found out to our delight that there is something even worse than sleeper buses and second class hard seats - namely a hard seat on a train without air conditioning. This was Chinese travel. Four rather laboured fans attached to the ceiling moved th...

"Yo, She-b****....... Let's go" - Bruce Cambell"Sure, I could have stayed in the past. Hell, I could have probably been King. But in a lot of ways, I am a king. Hail to the King, baby" - Bruce CambellEverywhere I go, people are always asking me... "Who is Bruce Cambell?"And by everyone, I mean at least one person. Bless his cottons, he has become the Australian against whom all other Australians are judged, and found wanting. Vinny's Mum is demanding pict...