I have finally figured out the differences between moving to a new country and being on an exchange in a new country. While both have similarities such as starting in a new work place and finding avenues to meet people, the major difference is that in one situation, you are trying to start a new life for yourself. How you want to set down roots is in your own hands. The latter, however, involves a temporary state of being - living in someone's house or owning a car for a short 12 months before you move on. I can't decide if our life is 'on hold' or not.

It's been very strange to measure every purchase, big and small, against the question, "Will we need it in 12 months?" For example, I saw the cutest side table that would fit perfectly in a specific corner in our Aussie home. Perfect height. Perfect little drawer for our electronics. Perfect price. HA! But, I had to stop myself because (1) it's not my house to decorate, (2) I wouldn't want to transport it back home, and (3) it doesn't fit our needs in Canada. What disturbs me more is that I'm searching for ways to establish roots in a situation that isn't long term.

I think in order to make this exchange more enjoyable (and survivable), I must mentally free myself and 'float' like a boat on an ocean, bobbing with each new situation and stop fighting to anchor myself. Accept the different. Be more adventurous. Meet the unknown with eager excitement.

What?!? What happened to me?!?

Those who know me should be shaking their heads with shock right now. I love exploring. I crave something new and quickly tire of the same, same, monotonous routine! I seek out fun, energy, and laughter. I get my energy from unique experiences. I love learning about new cultures, hearing new stories, tasting new flavors, etc. Hell, I backpacked all over the world for a year with no guide and no plan - simply open to what the day surprised me with.

So why am I struggling so much in Wangaratta?

Maybe I haven't found its beauty here. Perhaps it's because my husband hasn't adjusted yet either and everything annoys him. Possibly I'm pressuring myself to acclimatize too quickly. Hmm.

You know what would solve everything? MONEY! LOL. (I'm sure of it!) We could purchase a comfortable car to safely travel around in instead of our jalopy. We could fly our friends and family over. Better yet, we could rendezvous with them in an exotic island in a foreign country every weekend. Fiji? Vanuatu? Bali? We could sleep in a new king size bed. I can supplement my lessons with every possible resource without worrying about budget. We can sit in the best seats in a footy game and feel the sweat of the players on us rather than watching it on a jumbotron on the second tier. We could hire a personal chef to carefully monitor our calorie intake and work with personal trainers to achieve our weight loss goals. Ah - MONEY! It will solve everything. (Yes, yes. I'm sure of it.) LOL.

OK, I'll stop whinging. I declare right now at 9:35pm on 18th March 2014 to release myself. I shall float, watching the sunrises and sunsets in the horizon. I shall dive into the Aussie waters and explore the unknown. I shall breathe calmly. I shall be quiet and listen to the waves. (I hope I don't get seasick.) Anymore sailing analogies?