Day 3

Well our first day outside Bangkok on a free tour was a bit of a hell raiser.... firstly they forgot to collect us, so they sent out a skinny thia man on a scooter for us both..... Yes, us bot., All three of us tested the power and will of a scooter through Bangkok first thing in the morning...

We then had the Stigs Thia mental couisen drive us at warp speed in a minibus to some floating market which were really nice.... the sort of place you most probably would like to take a photo of........ of coarse, this would mean you need to put the memory card in the bloody camera if you want it to remember any of the photos dont you........

Floating markets were a strange mix of old school floating market with a healthy splash of the thias enthusiasm to make everything happen as fast as possible... so you end up with the OAP bunch doing it the old way with young thias in old boats which they have fitted moderen turbo diesel pickup egines to wizzing people around at high speed in clouds of black diesel smoke, engines roaring and turbos spinning whenever the crowded river will allow.

we tried a selection of food and our tour took us on one of these powered boats around the locals living areas which was fun... they live a old fashioned life style in work and at home with a moderen perk here and there... like flat screen tv's bolted to wood walls under corrigated iron roofs...

Then back in the bus with mental....

we sat at the back this time and ended up speaking to a Vietnamesse woman who lives in Austrailer - funny acsent. she told us of her disapointment she feels when she returns to Vietnam.. she see's her old courty grinding to a hault under communist rule.

We noticed a big lorry crash on the way back to Bangkok.... looked nasty. 3 lorries, 1 building and 1 car.

Once back we decided to go off looking for the Grand Palace which would involve using the ferry network.... it took some finding, but we managed to find the port and off we went....

We got off the boat and went straight for a drink in a grubby little riverside cafe right next to the ferry port... we had only been on the boat 10 mins but its hot so a drink was in order... the Grand Palace is on one side of the river { our side } and opposite is Temple Der Morgenrote which looked very bland from our cafe position but as you need to catch another ferry accross the river to get there and they stop running early evening we dicided to go straight over... the river is only 150 meters wide so as soon as your on your there. On closer inspection the Temple switches from a bland building from a distance to one of the most detailed buildings i have seen.... its covered in hand placed pieces of glass and plates.. some broken some still in plate shape, all layed into the cement of the building itself. It is a biulding that you can climb to the top of, but unlike most, on this building you climb up steps on the outside, and there very steep and totally unprotected but the view at the top was great.

Once back down on the ground and back on our original side of the river we decided, as the darkness set in to get our first Tuk Tuk ride to China Town. the ride was great, out in the fresh air and China town was far better then expected... it felt like traditional China had crashed into the 21 centery with tuk tuks and street stalls everywhere selling a mass of unusual sea foods with massive queues for the best stalls combined with brand new E class mercs under a tall skyline with lights everywhere. After trying some of the foods wondered the streets and stumbeled across what must of been Bangkoks flower making center of the wolrd.... There were flowers everywhere, most getting tied onto bigger fantastic looking bunches, some were being woveren together, bent, cut and shaped to look like bigger flowers or anything the thias decided they could create out of flowers. A common flower amoung many on desplay was the Orchid ov which there was thousands.... There were clean 1ton rubble sacks full to the brim with them in every stall, and there was hundreds and hundreds of stalls which all smelt fantastic.

From here we jumped into another tuk tuk and headed off to Patpong.

Patpong is a crazy place where your meet by local men who show you a piece of laminated paper showing you what the club offers that they work for... After finding what looked the most like a normal bar we spent most of the night watching the girls { or boys } ply there trade..... Hours could be spent doing this, and hours could easily become days without it becoming boring. After mixxing up some of our own drinks bought from a local shop we decided to wander around the general area again.... The Patpong area is made up of a small number of connecting roads that link two larger main roads. We made the decision to leave and made for one of the main roads, walking along it for a while whilst looking for a TukTuk. On doing this we passed a road we had not been down earier so headed off the main road and into a very busy side street, This side street however was no normal side street.. it was Patpongs gay side street, which we didnt notice staright away.... It was also a dead end, so by the time we sussed where we were it was time to turn around and push your way back passed everyone you'd just squeezed passed getting in. The music was better in the bars in this street than in the surrounding streets which shiree saw as a good reason to try get me dancing.. i looked around at the bar for something safe to look at whilst thinging of a plausable excuss for not wanting to dance and i noticed a { Menu } on the bar... It read... 1. Blowjob 2. Golden Shower 3. Fresh Young Boy and finally 4. Strainger Slut. I decided these were drinks i didnt fancy the look of given the street and we left.

The TukTuk home was our cheapest yet, and the furthest.... We are getting the hang of bartering now.. It was also a journey subject to some divertions due to street closures as a result of political demontraitions.

Off to bed we finally went.

Shirees final words.........

That was the longest day in the history of my life.