I head out to get a bike but non available. I can't find any in town and see a sign pointing to the Chiang Rai beach. Curious I consult maps.me and start following the signs. I walk past the market and start heading towards the suburbs. Bigger houses, dotted with schools make way for small local cafes and tiny takeaway wagons in the front of houses for passing trade. I look at my map app and dont seem to be getting very close. Chiang Rai is in need of rain as the heat is like a pressure cooker. I decide to ignore the tourist sign and follow my app on a more direct route. I pass a garden centre and retrace my steps noticing I should have turned right further up the road. I pass a neatly maintained golf course, a water purification site, but no beach. By this time I am drenched with sweat. Half a bottle of water and a little bag of haribos for company.
I see a bridge ahead and the map shows the beach is here. I excitedly aim for the top of the bridge. The music in my head scratches to a standstill, tumbleweed running between my ears. A few grains of sand, lots of grass and a fisherman fixing his boat. I grin at this and carry on. Heading to the next bend there is nothing but an empty town and workman glueing cats eyes to the road.
I turn back and make my way back to a crossroads near the golf course. I check maps.me and notice I am next to some wat, as well as a military monument. I decide to do a maps.me tour. I cant get any wetter and its causing me some amusement.
I climb the mossy steps up to the Wat and I am met by 2 gargolyle warriors. The Wat is heavily under construction, so I look at the gold Stupa and sit at the viewpoint blocked by trees. Not the day I had expected but its turned out to be amusing to me. Back down the stairs I meander to the navel memorial. I pass chickens and ducks and wish I had special powers to roast a small one. Hunger can wait. A pile of red bricks sit next to an unfinished concrete staircase. I climb to the top and no surprise the monument is not even close to completion based on a picture I saw near the ducks. Workmen are busy digging away and I leave them to it. The tour continues up the road into a quiet suburb, to see the gate. Upon reaching an object akin to a gravestone with an old car covered with a sheet parked almost on top of it, maps.me reveals x marks the spot. The x being a small monument with a map of town on it. I wonder how many visitors have seen this selubeous wonder. I pass a car that could be out of several horror films, jet black with the logo ....
on the windscreen. Devil horns on the front seats. I walk through this section of town, passing sleeping locals and a stooped giant of a thai squashed into a tiny wooden bustop, possibly the owner of the car. I find myself at a 7-11 and the kodak moment statue on the corner of the local food market. I cool off for awhile browsing longer than is normal, enjoying the aircon(LT). Apart from a little bit of spitting, the rain hasn't come yet. I pass lots of little clothes shops, packed with the style of clothes seen in small towns in the U.K. I am really hungry now and apply the game of maps.me to finding food. First opportunity is a curry house but it's closed. I am near the .... park and maps.me shows a small location to eat. It's also closed so use the closest place, a small breaded chicken vendor. I get a bag of chicken with a wooden stick to pick up the tiny scraps. Not the greatest dish I have eaten but in tune with the tour. The park is small with a large wooden building in the middle, school kids sitting around it, probably eating the morsels I have for 20 bhat.
At the back I see the closest thing to a gnome I can find. A porcelain elephant band with a large metal column covered in plastic giant flowers.

Back at the hostel I sit at the roof terrace nobody uses and reflect on my odd but fun day. I get ready and head back along the road to the market.

I get a small chicken hotpot. Spicy broth with spring onions and chile in it. Comes with a small bowl of chicken strips and a basket with an egg, local mushrooms which are wonderfully chewy. Mint, glass noodles, cabbage, some type of rocket salad leaf, carrot. The noodles are so fine that left in the hotpot they are rather sticky. I start adding them to my bowl and pour the broth on top.
This is up there with the best dishes eaten in Thailand. Fresh ingredients revolving around a rich broth. Each bowl is different and nothing has been altered. Spicy as hell and extra chile sauce provided. Mouth is on fire, nose is running, sweat dripping down my back, not helped by the charcoal fire.
Uncompromising the way Thai food should be. I head back to the hostel, sitting on the rooftop terrace with a beer. Also enjoying the novelty of a flat screen tv and daft films.