Thursday, November 18

After lunch last Friday, Herizal and his wife took me to a friend's daughter's wedding - not the party but the actual, formal wedding.Though most attendees were outside under a canopy or in the next room, I ended up in the main room packed in along with scores of people of all ages sitting on the floor in a layered circle around a rectangular low table where the event took place.Pro-quality video and SLR cameras recorded everything over the 2+ hours of speeches/prayers and the final entry of the tearful bride ( youngest daughter in her family, mom initially opposed the wedding, I was told ) with signing of papers, exchange of rings, lengthy tearful embraces of bride and groom with all parents, and a handshake line - by which time it was all smiles, of course.I was the only foreigner and non-Muslim there but didn't get much notice despite having a seat in the midst of it all and conspicuously taking many photos and extended video clips throughout.I did get my photo taken with the couple but it was just one of scores of shots.Nice dinner afterwards in which Herizal's wife ( among many others ) sang enthusiastically, and very well too.Most people left pretty quickly, though.The party was the next day, so most would be returning for more celebration.

Thus. Nov. 18

I'm at the office with other staff; students still on unofficial holiday, however.I'm prepping to go to Sriwijaya U's postgrad campus tomorrow/Saturday to help 11 folks get ready for the IELTS speaking/writing exams they need to pass in order to study abroad.

My cold is finally fading after 10 days; I still slept half sitting up last night to stop my coughing.

On Tuesday I went to Herizal's home to show his wife and kids how to make lasagna. I brought all the ingredients and told them where I found them - a combination of places, actually. They watched closely and took detailed notes; they can make it on their own now.I even left them the remaining half-package of pasta. Herizal had to bring me home before it was finished baking, but yesterday I learned that as soon as it was cooked it all got eaten in 5 minutes - except for the Indonesian pseudo-'cheese' on top ( all I could find, which never melted but just got dried out - not even the equivalent of Velveeta ).

Yesterday Yani got to my home on his motorbike at 6 am sharp ( barely a minute after I woke from a dead sleep! ) and brought me out to his house to be part of his neighborhood 'Kurban' - the annual Eid al Adha sacrificial killing of donated animals and distribution of the meat to all the families living nearby.Yani is the only available person there to 'do the honors', for which he uses what amounts to a machete.It was my first time to watch animals being killed, apart from the live turkey my Dad bought one Thanksgiving when I was a boy.It didn't get to me, though, nor to any of the 150-200 folks watching from varying distances in/around a small field in front of the neighborhood mosque.Over a dozen helpers - young guys - 'hog-tied' and maneuvered the animals one by one ( 4 cows first, then 3 goats ) till their heads were spported on boards over pits a couple feet across and deep.From a long sheet of paper, Yani read prayers and the names of the donors of each animal ( asking Allah to forgive them their sins as a reward ) before severing its jugular and esophagus.A couple of cows took quite a while to die.Then helpers stripped the hide off of each animal and cut it very messily into small pieces, putting the meat into 450 black plastic baggies holding about a kilo of meat each.Once that was done, someone from each family ( mostly children ) stood in line and collected their bag, surrendering a 'coupon' they'd been given earlier.Yani said one bag would last a family about 3 days, since people are good at 'stretching' meat here.He wanted to send a bag home with me but I said no, thanks. I got pictures of every step of all of this, some too graphic to share with most people I know.Yani copied them all to his computer - I had some good ones of him 'in action', plus some good people pictures.I'll post selected ones to Facebook soon.

Through the early/mid-afternoon I just 'hung out' with Yani's five children, mostly sitting in the family room in front of a fan while the younger ones played video games on a laptop. His two boys, who are the youngest ones, got quite affectionate and soon were calling me 'Grandpa', wanting to get hugs and hold hands.I talked quite a while in English with his oldest daughter, now in 10th grade at a school where she said teachers only show up in class for maybe 2 hours out of 7 each day!( luckily her English teacher always shows up and makes the class fun. ).Yani needed to fix his ancient van before we could all go to Herizal's; it ended up requiring a new battery and spark plugs, among other things.Someone delivered 5 30-kilo bags of rice, which he will divide into 20 bags and give to the poorer people in his neighborhood, something he does on his own initiative though as a teacher with 5 kids and a stay-at-home wife he's far from wealthy. Later a group of 8-10 neighbor women with a swarm of younger kids came over to sit and eat - sitting with me, actually, since Yani's wife was too busy cooking and serving to chat.None of the women spoke English so our conversation was at best halting, mostly limited to my age, my kids - and my nose, which they admired for some reason!Around 3 pm we all left in the van and first stopped briefly at Yani's parents' home ( which I had visited during Lebaran ), where two of his younger brothers were also visiting with their wives and babies.Then on to Herizal's, where we were the last ( for yesterday at least ) of a long succession of visitors, though there was still lots of good, hot food waiting.After two meals at Yani's and one at his parents', I had saved just enough appetite to sample a few choices. ( 'perut saya kenyang' is now my most-used phrase in Indonesian: my stomach is full. )After a while Yani's bunch were ready to head home, and I could see Herizal's family was ready to unwind as well, so Yani dropped me back at home by 7, along with 2 heavy bags of pempek and other food from the two families, which should last me forever.It was a very interesting day all around, full of new experiences; one of my favorites since I've been here.