Saturday night Sept. 18

I finally got a massage today, and it was worth the wait - and certainly worth the $8 it cost, including a generous tip.The masseuse, a friend of Herizal's wife, is an older woman who knows no English but does 'know her stuff' when it comes to deep massage; no one could question her thumb strength, that's for sure!She stretched me out a bit too.I felt noticeably more 'relaxed' afterwards both physically and mentally.We'll have another session next Saturday, again at Herizal's house, which is great since I get to see the family - and have lunch with them too.

Today we had two types of whole fish ( since I'd told them I love fish ) and many other dishes as well - if anything, a more ambitious and varied meal than the dinners Grandma Folse used to make on Sundays.

We sat and chatted a while after lunch, looked at photos of their Australia stay and their wedding, and watched all the kids running around enjoying each other's company.Herizal arranged for Raidul to go along with me by angkot to Palembang Square Mall tomorrow - I want to go the big Gramedia bookstore there - since he was worried it would be too complicated for me to do it alone the first time. Then we had hot-off-the-stove pempek as a mid-afternoon snack, mainly for my sake I think but the kids enjoyed it too; we sat around the table 'trading words' for body parts and colors.Then they drove me back here, leaving me with a big bag of pempek and sauce which I barely made a dent in for dinner since I was still almost full ( The rest is in the hotel café's fridge ).

Somehow I had thought there was another Lebaran home visit this evening, but I'd misunderstood.

Sun. Sept. 19

I just got back to the hotel after an unexpectedly interesting day.Raidul called from the lobby at 9 ( I'd thought he was coming at 10, and would call first ).I was not ready - had to drag a razor across my thorny face fast and put on a shirt. I'd thought we were going by angkot to Gramedia but when I got downstairs Raidul said I had been invited to accompany him to a big outdoor wedding/lunch for a young woman in his neighborhood - starting at 10 am - and we had a ride there in a friend's new SUV; 'too hot already for an angkot anyway' he said, and I couldn't disagree.I quickly raced upstairs to get my small camera ( less conspicuous, and I can put it in my pocket ).

We ended up at his home first, in a modest middle-middle class neighborhood where he says he knows everyone within a kilometer and many beyond that.He showed me three books he's written on various aspects of religious practice - he has had single copies printed but will need to go to Jakarta to find a publisher.His daughter was sitting in front of the TV playing a video game - with lots of text in slangy English, but not necessary for playing the game and it flashed too fast for even me to read anyway.His wife mostly stayed out of sight.(BTW it was an arranged marriage after he came back from NY with some money diligently saved by living on a shoestring there so he could save half of his scholarship money; he's 50, she's 29 - not that unusual here, I've been told )At 10 we walked about 6 blocks over to the wedding, at a very leisurely pace to avoid melting into a puddle on the sidewalk ( actually people always walk sedately here ).I was wishing I had sunblock, though even after the walk back later under even more intense sun I'm not noticeably darker.

We arrived to find hundreds of people already under a high canopy at least a hundred feet on a side, with folding chairs in rows for maybe 500, and the seats were filling fast as people kept streaming in, all on foot.We were welcomed with a small dish of ice cream -the first I've had here, and very welcome - plus a small 'accordion' fan which both men and women were using energetically.We were brought up front and Raidul chose seats in the second row, but we got moved to the front row beside 'dignitaries' in traditional dress - and luckily under an oscillating fan.A young guy was singing Indonesian pop accompanied by an older guy on a digital keyboard ( which was providing 90%of the accompaniment without the man moving a finger) - at rock-concert volume thanks to two impressive towers of huge speakers.It was impossible for anyone to talk - I couldn't understand Raidul even when he talked into my ear.I was introduced to scores of people, being both an unexpected guest and of course the only Western face there.One of the dignitaries near us, an older guy with an impish grin, wanted to know my name and where I was from; otherwise it was a simple brief handshake in passing.In front of us was a wide raised stage with the semblance of a sultan's/wife's throne inside a fancy little 'room' in the center, and chairs for parents to the side.It reminded me very much of the photos Herizal had showed me of his own wedding - as did the bride and groom when they finally entered, walking down the center aisle as three young women dancers in full traditional regalia ( think Thailand ) danced up the aisle to meet them.Both sets of parents followed.They all took their assigned seats on stage and a stream of important folks walked by to shake their hands.Both a photographer and videographer started recording everything, including me, though with no imagination I thought.Speeches/more singing ensued, and then we enjoyed watching very well-practiced dance routines ( again, think Thailand - elaborate and graceful hand movements, bending and turning in exact unison, etc.), by the original trio and then by a quartet in more modern dress.I got good-enough videos and photos of both, as well as of the bride and groom, of course. No fans for anyone up on stage; I can hardly imaging how uncomfortable they felt under layers of fabric plus headgear.The bride and groom didn't even try to maintain their camera-worthy forced smiles most of the time - who could?As for the parents, to my Western eye the mothers looked grimly resigned though I suppose they were trying for role-appropriate serenity and dignity.The groom's father looked, to put it politely, 'stern' most of the time; maybe he was thinking about how much the whole affair was costing him ( Raidul told me he was footing the entire bill ). The other dad looked as if he might have been watching the business news on TV on a day when nothing happened.No one looked at the bride/groom through all the dozens or so speeches, though I could follow enough of the language to know they were being referred to. Raidul translated a bit and told me they work in the same hospital. Then he said, 'OK, now the actual wedding will happen.'It turned out that the impish-grin guy, introduced as 'Professor ____' was the one to preside.As soon as he started talking, he introduced me as an honored guest; I waved briefly but didn't stand, and got lots of smiles from those in the crowd who could see me.Suprisingly, the couple themselves weren't asked to do anything.They continued looking ahead except for brief asides to each other, but didn't even hold hands much less ( gasp! ) kiss.

Then the mood lightened a lot.The original MC turned entertainer/comedian and got big smiles from everyone, even the two moms/dads.He 'interviewed' the bride and groom, and elicited the fact that they met on Facebook by chance - both being online at the same time.He got a bit personal for my taste, asking what had attracted them to each other and even what their Facebook names were, but the crowd roared with laughter throughout and the young ( 24 and 25 ) couple were game though she looked to be caught a bit off-guard.Another succession of key folks came up for a hand-shake line, the moms/dads all smiles now, then Herizal said I could have my picture taken with the couple/parents - which I did.As soon as I stepped aside, the whole crowd lined up to do the same - except for those hungry enough to head straight for 4 lunch buffet lines set up just outside the canopy, under their own shelters.After a long, hot wait, during which a succession of folks in the crowd belted out badly off-key versions of pop songs, including one in 'English' ( I use the word loosely ), we reached the front of the line.No surprises: rice, chicken, a fairly mild rendang, noodle soup, mixed veggies with green beans (yet again ), 2 sambals ( I took neither ), and those sweet mini-mini bananas that I can't seem to get enough of.

After eating we quietly took our leave, returning to Raidlu's home by a different route, passing a small but photogenic neighborhood mosque and a group of guys passing the afternoon together under the shade of a canopy in a small park.I walked over to say hi and get a photo.Raidul called another friend with a car to drive us to Gramedia, which is in the sprawling Palembang Square mall, along with Carrefour, and kind of off the main track of everything.It was a long, slow drive through traffic at an absolute standstill in some places and crawling along in many more, but we finally got there and lucked into a rare parking spot very close to Gramedia……which turned out to have exactly one novel in English: an installment of the 'Twilight' saga.No, thanks. Apparently the other book stores in town have none.Absolutely no market for English books here, except TOEFL study.Maybe that helps explain why their TOEFL scores are so bad.If I can ever get to the Palembang English Library, I'll be able to find enough reading choices there to keep me occupied.I presume.But I did get a discounted BBC nature video with Indonesian and English narration and subtitles - good way to improve my vocabulary, I hope.Then we looked for sandals but the one shop that had one pair barely big enough ( size 44-45 here ) wanted over 30 bucks for them - and they looked cheapo and uncomfortable to boot.We went up to Carrefour, which looked pretty much the other Carrefours I've seen and was just as jam-packed, but they didn't have any sandals that were anywhere near long enough.I did find, after asking several cute attendants ( one of whom would NOT give up on trying to persuade me to buy a tiny bottle of mouthwash - with a free cheapo glass - that she was 'promoting' ), 3 mini-sized cans of shaving foam, trial size at most in the US but that that's all they sell here.'Indonesians like small sizes' Raidul said. I bought 2 of them, at over a buck each.Raidul says Indonesians use a dry disposable razor, and that they can use the same one over and over.Their beards must not be very tough.Raidul and his friend seemed to find Carrefour interesting - they hadn't been there, and Raidul didn't even know it was there.His friend even bought a few things.Then he took us across the street from the mall to a simple little family-owned martabak place.It was 4 pm and I was still full but it was hot off the stove and very tasty.No dinner again for me.