Hey guys.

hope you are well. I can't wait to get the f*** out of here. It happens tomrrow. I'm psyched. I go to singapore. I dont hate nz but I havent had the best of times here. can you see a recurring pattern? The people on my bus were, on the whole utter f***ers. I should have broken limbs, fried them up with onions and sold them to some maori tribe.

I'm in christchurch at the moment. Its pretty much about as boring as the other places I have been to. I'm sure if I was here with someone to share it with then it would be alot better, as would all the other places that I have seen. Go me on breaking up with my girlfriend to do this!

Went bungy jumping. i want in the best of moods when i did it so want really that bothered. My heart didnt race, i didnt break into a sweat, i didnt think, 'what if the rope breaks?'. All i thought was, 'If I was a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would I be?"

I cant wait for sun. Roll on singapore, forgetting bad thoughts, and some sun to get rid of my s.a.d.

I think I have regressed.

Miss you guys.

One day I bought a magazine in a futile attempt to get over my gq withdrawal. It had Johnny depp on the cover so i thought I'd try and grow a tache and a bit of a beard to look like him cos I'm sad like that/. Didnt work. i shaved it off. I looked like a tramp. i dont like my hair at the moment. i am also sick of my f***ing clothes. I'm clothed in my f***ing sick.

went to a guitar shop today and tried out this wicked telecaster. realised i cant play guitar anymore. But could I ever? I was pretty good at making loud noises.

prettier and younger but not any better off.

I'm an actor

who are you? who are we? Ou est le parc d'attraction? Nicola got some translation work and is gonna eb making a grand. why the f*** cant I get s*** like that? Suppose I'm in nz which doesnt help. I'm lonely. i'll talk to myself in the mirror. i'll change my name to travis. travis bickle. how original.

Did i tell you I'l l be wotking in a rehab centre in malaysia? Hope that will give me something to focus oncos I'm lacking a lot of that at the moment. I think I'm drifting a bit. However, phonix have released a new song which is good. I hope they come on tour just as I get back home. I'm devising a massive plan. well not massive. But its a plan. Sort of.

did I tell you I went to a fancy dress party dressed as osama bin laden? i got bored so took off my beard and pretended to be an emo in arabic dress. no one else found it funny so i went to bed and practiced swizziling my plastic gun that I bought, like they do in cowboy films. I'm not very good at it.

I have been advised to not do drugs or get lost in thailand. i would say thats quite obvious. In malaysia I will be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. probably sharing with some other person. Its more space than I'm used to but I'd like a single room. rehab will bechallenging but its a challenge i thiknk i need. Dont you think I'll be good at it? Scenario 1.

Why are you doing drugs? Don;t do them, it really is that easy.

I'd write a second scenario but i can't see anyone not thinking that is the greatest thing they ever f***ing hear, turning into a hari krishnar and setting up a falafal store for the stray cats and dogs they find living under bridges.

Write to me. x