Day 76, 18 September 2012, Essaouira to Fez, Morocco - It is one of the oddities of travel, for me at least (though not James), that if our plane/train/bus or hand cart is leaving prior to noon, I never sleep the night before. Thus when the alarm went off in the dead of night (4.55 am) I was all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake, given I was already wide awake. The porters of Essaouira are a cheerful bunch at the cracking hour of 5.30 am - I think the fellow we had was ecstatic at making 20 dirhams before the sun came up. We had already plotted the sane, paved, slightly longer, westerner route from the Riad to the Supratours bus station. But our porter, his handcart and our luggages hived off cross country and via myriad back alleys got us there in 5 minutes instead of 10. The 6.00 am bus left promptly at 6.15 am and was actually a pleasure to travel on. Especially once the driver and a Supratours official booted an elderly gentleman out of Seats 1 and 2 at the front of the bus. His ticket was for seat 1-7 (17). Honestly mate, we don't even speak French and we were in the right spot. We snoozed part of the way and despite an extended ciggie break half way through when we lost a couple of locals for an extra 10 minutes, we made it to Marrakesh only 15 minutes late. Pas de Soucis (more or less french for "no worries"). Heavy bags, strange railway station, train to Fez leaving from platform unknown in 15 minutes? Hah! We spit in the face of your challenges and made it to our seats with 10 minutes to spare. The 9 am direct train to Fez left promptly at 9.15 am. We had company in our 1st class compartment of 6 seats - an husband, wife and son from Algiers who spoke a little English. The husband insisted (as had our Riad owner) that we must change trains in Casablanca. Never pay attention to well-meaning non-railway staff. The conductor thought I was slightly soft in the head in the end, as I checked several times (particularly when we stopped in Casablanca) if we did indeed need to change. "Non madam. Voici le train a Fez". And it was. And when it was moving it was very very fast and when it stopped it was not. We arrived only an hour late, but after Casablanca we had the whole compartment to ourselves so stretched out and slept for hours on end. Having become legends at spotting and thwarting well-meaning fraudsters we were amused when a young Moroccan man got on at Meknes - the station just before Fez and, in excellent English, proceeded to make conversation (we're sure the conductor was in on it - revenge for me asking 4 times if we needed to change trains I suspect...) How were we? Good. Did we like Morocco? Yes. Were we finding the weather hot? Not particularly. How is the weather where you come from? What - Essaouira? no no - Australia. b*****ed if we know... haven't been there for 3 months. Oh. You should stay in a nice riad in Fez and really enjoy the Medina. Really? What a great plan. Oh. His final words were "You already have a riad booked don't you." Yup. Bye-eeeee...... Turns out this particular scam has been operating for the last wee while between Meknes and Fez. He heard an American accent in the hall outside the compartment and no doubt scooted off to locate that nice fat wallet. We availed ourselves of chocolate croissants, coffee and a chicken sandwich for lunch given the dire lack of breakfast and an early start. When we finally reached Fez station our transfer fellow was patiently waiting and spirited us through the crowds of faux-guides to our Fez Riad. First night was interesting to say the least. The room we booked was not the room we got. The room we got had a mattress on the floor in the loft area. Sleep was not had. Grumpiness was stored up like lava in Mt. Vesuvius. Suffice it to say words were going to be had....