Day 77, 19 September 2012, Fez, Morocco - After the most diabolical night of non-sleep on a very hard, smelly mattress on the floor of a picturesque loft (with no way to walk around the edges and only a teensy spiral staircase for access to the ground level and bathroom), a foolish staff member who can't spot a crippled, angry volcano when she sees one asked how we slept. And so she was told. And then so was the night manager (you should have said something... ah hah... 6 rooms, all full - what pray tell would saying something at 11 pm have accomplished?) He showed us another larger room - with an actual bed, that just needed to be cleaned and we could shift. Thoroughly out of sorts and sure we'd been given a cheaper room than the one pictured, reserved and paid for, we ran into the Manager on our way out the door (still seething at having paid €70 per night for a total of 4 nights for the worst sleep ever). Seemed to be the day for not reading people well... He asked "So you are well? Excellent" - neglecting to listen to the "Dreadful, Actually" that I inserted into the middle of his question. We explained the problem, he insisted it was the room we had booked (we later went on line and showed him his photos were stuffed up and the photos for two rooms had been switched around... ahhh). He also said many foolish things like insisting that a mattress on the floor was a bed (for €10 maybe), he insisted it was not camping, he insisted no one had complained before and that the mattress did not smell. He also insisted on telling me to "shhhhh" and "take a seat". We asked for money back as the room was rubbish and not worth the money charged. He laughed. He insisted it was the correct rate and certified by the tourism board etc. I asked if he'd ever slept in it. Nope. He insisted we were making a fuss over nothing and trying to rip him off. I gave up being reasonable at that point and repeated once more "you are not listening to me and I will make you listen if it's the last thing I do today" and opened the front door to the alleyway and yelled at the top of my voice that this was the WORST RIAD IN FEZ AND NO ONE SHOULD EVER, EVER STAY THERE. And then continued to insist on half our money back or I'd be reporting him and his smelly, unhygienic excuse for a room to everybody from the Board of Tourism to the Police. (Still at top volume). One of his neighbours popped in to make sure no one was being killed. He finally listened, closed the front door and coughed up the cash we had paid the night before (couple of moths poked their heads out of the safe in surprise). Obviously we were both quite drained by this point, not to mention unable to stand up straight, so we chuffed out for the day and stopped at a proper, locals, cheap b****** Salon de The for some mint tea. We wandered the souks and started to get the lay of the land and ended up back in our local area near the Blue Gate for a late lunch - Poulet Roti avec de riz et des frites. Chicken and Chips for 18 dirham (about $2.20 between us). Jolly good. Returned to the Riad to find that investigations had ensued, the old mattress was out in the courtyard and had received and failed the sniff-test. There was much banging and sawing and construction occurring in our old room. They had taken our words to heart and moved the seating area and coffee table up into the loft and were building a new queensize slat bed with 2 bedside tables for the ground floor area. Which meant the air conditioner could direct cool air into the sleeping area - not into the seating area whilst the upstairs loft sweltered. And a thumping great new mattress, still in it's plastic was ready to be installed. No problem. Any time. Hardies' Hotel Inspectors Inc., at your service. Reasonable Rates, No Job too Small. We make good price for you my friend.... Shared a fab chicken, lemon, almond tagine for dinner (in the Blue Gate area pictured) and returned to new nest for reasonable night's sleep. Manager has finally been reading the comments on Trip Advisor instead of just the scores and figured out the reason I was sitting in the window of our room with a computer is because wifi is crap everywhere except in the courtyard. At 8 pm the technician finished installing another wifi gizmo so it was available throughout the Riad. Honestly. The money he gave back to us is a small fee for the improvements that have been undertaken in just one day. Right then - off to bed for 3 nights in our new room. Sleep tight. Mind the Hotel Inspectors don't bite.