I'm currently sat on a beach which is pure paradise, still in Koh Phi Phi. It's my last night tonight and I'm still contemplating where I will hit next. I have mixed feelings about this place. It is absolutely stunning, there's no doubt about that.
I arrived yesterday by boat and the journey across was fascinating. One minute I was lying on the upperdeck listening to a bit of Chaka Demus and Pliers, soaking up the sunshine and the next I was seeking shelter to try and get out of the huge thunder storm we were sailing through. Now I'm not one to get concerned about stuff like this, having spent a good few years of my life at sea. However, when a couple of Aussies came up from the lower deck, moaning about water coming in.. I started to contemplate things. On closer inspection, it was just a trickle but that wasn't my concern. About 150-200 people board these vessels and for a start they have no life boats. They obviously think that because these waters are always close to land, they don't need them! It was a good 45 km trek though and I can't imagine a ship setting sail from Dover to Calais, which is a bit further to be fair, but still... That would set sail with negative lifeboats! If for some reason we had to abandon that ship during a storm, we would be in big trouble! It's actually a disaster waiting to happen I think. The deck hands are also questionable. I was genuinely looking at their pockets expecting them to have a cheeky half bottle of rum in there, they didn't look qualified at all and they looked just as relieved as many of the green faces onboard, that we had safely arrived! Alas, I'm no expert on ship safety...
So I arrived amid a storm, grabbed some breakfast upon my arrival and then navigated to my hostel. I stopped in a few hostels during my warm up tour of a few cities in Europe and you can't beat them. You really meet some great like minded people, coming from all sorts of places. I walked to the hostel (my plan of getting a moped was actually quite flawed seeing as though there is no transportation whatsoever on the island!!) and was greeted by a chap called Asif. I wasn't expecting a glass of champers on arrival (you don't at £5 a night) but the grumpy welcome he gave me wasn't the warmest id ever received. He slid the door open to what looked like a huge caravan, pointed at my bed, grunted and pointed towards some lockers and that was that. Cheers Asif, all the best mate. I stowed away some stuff and then went for a little bimble to explore.
The views here are absolutely breath taking, especially the "view point" that is the main sight of the island. I met a great bloke called Ian in the hostel who has been working in Hong Kong, originally from Wakefield, and we both strolled up there to catch sunset. It was a bit of a walk but compared to that beast I'd climbed in Krabi Town, it was nothing. I got a beer from the shop before ascending as I thought it would be nice to have a cheeky one once I got to the top... This was another flawed idea. No beer allowed past a certain point. Which probably makes sense as it would be utter carnage up there if everyone was ball bagged... So I got it down and cracked on. It was well worth the walk anyway, absolutely beautiful.
We then walked back down and at the hostel met a lady with whom I can't remember her name (lovely girl who was half Greek half Scottish, studying in Edinburgh). Also a nice chap from Toulon called Guenael, who makes tree houses for a living which on reflection probably hits my top 5 of ideal jobs! We had some scran at an all you can eat BBQ place which was my first non Asian meal for a week. Then we went to a bar literally next door to the hostel which specialises in "beer pong". It's probably worth mentioning now why I have mixed feelings about this place. Having gone on what was the worst weeks holiday of my life, correction, the worst week of my life, to Malia about 4 years ago... I can draw a lot of comparisons with this place. People (mainly cockneys) trying to entice you in to bars for free shots, stores everywhere selling "buckets", people absolutely Oliver Twist staggering around... It's just not what I signed up for. Having said that, I had a bucket in this bar (when in Rome and all that...). I did well at pool but got spanked by the French chap in beer pong, Guenael had a talent for this. I have to admit this bucket bloody rocked me and once we were done I decided to call it a night and roll the 10 or so meters down the road to the hostel. At least that was the plan...
Next thing you know I'm bimbling around the streets (I'd become that Oliver Twist moron as aforementioned) I got stupidly lost and remember thinking this could be another night in the trenches sleeping rough (it's happened in Livorono, Gibraltar Malia and a few times in the UK)... No one knew where my hostel was until a saviour appeared. This saviour was in the form of a lady who gives massages. She said if I had a massage, she'd take me to my hostel. I'd been eyeing up a massage for a few days to be fair so I thought why not. I've no idea how much it cost but my shoulders feel good today so she must have done a good job although I have a recollection of it being pretty bloody brutal with bones cracking all over the shop. And I must stress now, the only happy ending was the fact she got me back to my hostel. Happy days.
I was relieved to be back but soon after my reunification with my bed, a pissed up group of about 6 Eastern Europeans staggered in. They were being ridiculously loud and going out their way to wind me up by shining lights at me. I had a bit of an altercation with one of the chaps and let the others know that I thought their general hostel etiquette was somewhat sub-standard. They persisted in winding me up but in the end I popped the old headphones in and listened to a bit of UB40 to help me sleep. Next morning, they were just as loud and annoying but once they left for their day trip, I got them back. I won't go into detail of the manner of revenge I went for, but tonight when they snuggle in their beds I'll be tittering to myself. Sleep well fellas. Don't get me wrong, I've been a rascal in my time and caused all sorts of mischief but these prats went out their way to wind me up...
So, my thoughts on this place are that it's certainly worth a visit. I thought the beaches in Jamaica were special but this place beats it by a long shot. The sea is red hot, literally warmer than the pathetic shower I had in the hostel this morning. I would certainly come back, but next time I'd stay in a tidy hotel on the outskirts and it would probably be with a lady... It's definitely a couples place. I'm now going to decide where to head to tomorrow.... I might do 24 hours in Phuket although I know it's gonna be another Malia like place but ultimately it's Koh Samui where I want to get to for a few days. I'm just gonna sheepishly wander around the island now... Waiting for that massage lady to pounce. Bless her, lovely woman.