Ensuring that Chelsea wasn't going to spring an unexpected desire to visit a hospital on me again, we set off (for the second time) for the Mekong Delta.

The Mekong River is one of the world's largest rivers and its numerous tributaries and branches explain the Vietnamese name for the Mekong: Song Cuu Long (River of Nine Dragons). As you may well guess, rice is the most important crop in Vietnam and its production involves 50% of the population. The Mekong Delta, one of the biggest deltas in the world is a vast contributor to this important product. The ancient Indian for rice is 'dhanya', which means 'sustainer of human race' - a very apt word when describing Vietnam's chief staple.

When booking the tour with the infamous 'Sinh Tourist' operations (for £7 each) I didn't quite realise how much was being jammed into our trip which was eight hours long! There was a fantastic and seemingly endless river of sights and delicacies to try!

The entire tour was in the small province of Ben Tre, a picturesque area where rustic, tin sheet homes bobbing along on the water atop big barrels and bamboo stilts.

The first thing we did was go to a small coconut candy work shop, or 'keo dua' as the locals call it. Keo dua is famous in Ben Tre and its river banks are lined with similar establishments where women toil away over huge vats of coconut and caramel mixture before it is rolled out, cut into squares and wrapped in paper ready to be sold. It tasted pleasant enough and tasted more like a coconut toffee than a sweet.

We then pulled into a small port for a meal. To my horror a grisly looking fish was set in front of us, its charcoaled scales and milky eyes repelled me but a Vietnamese woman quickly dismantled it for us and made us all spring rolls using its flesh, along with local vegetables. The spring rolls weren't deep fried so we ate them raw, the word raw makes it sound unappealing but it actually looked very tasty as its transparent qualities allowed you to see all the colourful veg inside.

At the end of the meal, and having coughed my lungs up after dipping pineapple into a chilli and salt concoction, a huge python was brought out of some hidden cage. When it was draped around my neck I was surprised how heavy it was and the strength it had as I held its neck, it was hard to stop it coming towards my face! The highlight of the whole day however, was when Chelsea plucked up the courage and had a go with the snake. She hyped herself up like the battle axe that she is and went bright red with nervous laughter as I pretended that I couldn't get the camera to work to take her picture - laughing uncontrollably, I bought Chelsea a coconut and peanut ice cream before we moved onto the next amusement.

The next stop, after a pony drawn carriage ride, was a shack/bar/shop/thing. This holistic building gave you the opportunity to try various concoctions of Vietnamese alcohol. The banana wine and coconut wine (which are actually infused rums) were ambrosial compared to the snake wine that I tried. The drink came from a large jar filled with about fifteen snake corpses and the murky water looked very unappealing. I was told that the liquid aided in impotency so I asked for a big glass. After drinking it my nasal passage and tongue felt like they had been violently assaulted with bleach; this sounds silly but it really did taste 'snakey' and I will never be trying it again. It was worth it though because now I've got a c*** I can lean on if I get tired.

To get back to our ferry we had a small boat ride by women that we all wearing 'non bai tho', the conical hats that are traditional here. We saw some in the bottom of the boat and eagerly adorned them - we looked the absolute height of fashion. Comically, our female captain prodded/kicked me when we arrived back at our ferry and demanded a tip. Luckily, three months of travelling with Chelsea has hardened me against such things.

When we arrived back in HCMC we quickly scuttled over to the fabled Ben Thanh market. When we got there it was colossal! It was like Abertillery Market on steroids! There were hundreds of stalls all selling a trillion different things! We quickly decided not to spend much money but somehow left with our arms full of enticing bargains! Our haggling game has come on tremendously, I purchased Chelsea a brown, leather Gucci rucksack for Valentines Day (heart throb), down from 1,600,000 don't to 500,000! Very pleased with myself. I bought my sisters something as well but they'll probably turn their noses up - ungrateful.

Burdened down and laughing at our feeble attempts to not spend money we sauntered back to our hostel and happy hour in high spirits.