Milling around Posonby Market was the most Christmassy thing we had done or seen around the Christmas season. The ceiling was a glittering red due to the hundreds of ornamental red orbs that hung from the ceiling and mince pies were on every stall.

Settling down to a banana milkshake in one of the many quirky cafes allowed us to take in the place a little better. This particular cafe was chosen as it had roughly twenty lights hanging from its ceiling, all of which had kitchen utensils as light shades - my favourite of which was a cheese grater.

Banana milkshake reduced to nothing but froth and Chelsea's chocolate cake reduces to crumbs we left for my bungy jump off of Auckland Harbour Bridge.

On arrival at bungy jump HQ we were greeted by youthful, happy teens dressed as elves that also happened to be our safety supervisors! Yay! Praying that their qualifications weren't as ridiculous as their costumes, I daintily put my feet into the harness that was being held aloof for me and made a feeble joke about it not doing my package any justice. When the young man kneeling at crotch height in front of me failed to laugh I decided that it would be best to just stand quietly while he continued to tighten various straps.

Sitting with my fellow jumpers whilst adorning a dashing white construction hat we listened intently to our safety instructions. I don't think any of us so much as blinked as our instructor told us what he wanted us to to. He told us that the most dangerous part of the experience would be crossing the road before entering the bridge. Jokes aside, at this point I wasn't feeling the slightest bit nervous.

With the extremely windy walk along the underside of Auckland Bridge, amongst all the pillars and cables behind us, we came to a sort of pod that was attached to the top of the bridge - 40m above the water below.

Eventually, following yet another safety briefing, a huge mechanical door was opened, revealing a very thin diving board out into the void above the water. It was bloody high and my pulse rate definitely quickened a beat or two.

I was third up so sat down to have my feet attached to the bungee - I watched them doing the knots and clamps intensely and was slightly annoyed that they were chatting to each other, were they concentrating!?

Shimmying down the plank towards my jump I went though in my mind how I wanted my jump to play out - a nice, springy, confident jump into nothingness was what I wanted; easy. Realising just how high I was I felt extremely vulnerable and mildly dizzy, something that wasn't helped by the elf holding me commanding me to wave at various cameras.

But, I did it. I felt myself spring like Pocahontas into the air, arms spread and soaring gracefully away from the platform. I heard distinct 'oooo's' and 'aaah's' from the spectators in the pod behind me. I smiled casually as I plummeted towards the water and even saluted and winked at a boat that was passing on the water to my right before being twanged back the way I had came.

Pulling a yellow cord at my left ankle to right myself, I returned to the jump pod half expecting to see a panel of judges holding cards that read '10' high above their heads. Rudely, they weren't but it was great fun watching the others jump off after me.

Back in the HQ I got to watch my video back with Chelsea, under the presumption that I would then buy it. My heart sank.

As the video unfolded it became more and more apparent that I am clinically deluded, if not psychotically. The video could not have been further from what I thought had happened. I was shown, walking like a stick insect, to the end of the diving board where I forced a smile, that made me look like an old donkey, at various cameras. The relaxed, sexual stance I though I had emitted at the end of the board was actually me stood with my arms absurdly outstretched to the sides with clenched, white knuckled fists. And my leap off? The verb 'leap' is a woefully inadequate description. I flumped off the end of the board like a nightgown that had slid off its hanger. It was the least cool thing I have ever seen. This unsavoury scene was then followed by inaudible, open-mouthed screaming and flailing where there wasn't a casual salute in sight.

Shamed and humiliated I parted with my money and bought the video. More as a reminder to myself to keep a firm grip on reality in the future than anything else. Oh well, Christmas tomorrow and our Air B and B to move into tonight!