Venice was on the itinerary because we wanted to meet Wobbly Wheels' brother His Lordship, who has spent three weeks on a cruise. We've all seen Venice before and while we planned to crack open some Pinot noir and swap travel yarns over spaghetti we thought a little day trip across to Lido would be in order. It's the island they hold the Venice film festival on and I, being ignorant, hadn't heard of it before. Nevertheless it's apparently a very popular tourist spot with 'sandy' beaches onto the Adriatic Sea and upscale hotels. Oh and you can ride your bikes there. We hopped on a ferry, hired His Lordship a bike and plonked ourselves down for lunch. The busy main street is a little Noosa, a little Cannes. Bit chic with restaurants, bars and I'm embarrassed to say badly dressed, overweight and loud Australians. The beaches are private, that is you pay to use a sunbed, showers and toilets but at either end are public beaches, which is where we headed. The island is 11km long. His Lordship, who was riding a fairly decent hirebike, took less than 1km before asking how far we planned to ride. The rough tourist map I consulted suggested a simple loop of less than 10km that should take the average non-bike riding, hopelessly unfit and un-coordinated American two hours to complete. 'We don't want to be riding for hours,' His Lordship declared. Where are we going? Why are we going this way? 'If I had a better bike...I am not wearing the right clothes' (i.e. I am not coordinated) and 'it all looks the same' were just some of the comments coming from his direction. Probably just as well he wasn't along for the rest of the trip. And the public beach? What an anticlimax. The dirty water was matched in quality by the brown sand. It didn't stop the locals from swimming and sunbaking but I could do little more then whimper with disappointment. And after so much promise too. Wobbly Wheels and His Lordship were equally saddened but hardly surprised. They knew it meant we could head back to town for a cup of tea. I drowned my sorrows in a cocktail (who cares that it was 3pm) and indulged in a little people watching. Remind me never to complain about home.