Had a nice lil lie in n then headed off for cheese n beans on toast!!! Crossin these roads is like playin Russian roulette, I generally try to link closely wiv a thai person n hope they don't think I'm tryin to pick their pockets!!! Had an oil massage, well nice n the lady looked bout 25 n was actually 33! Skin feelin soft as a baby's bum! Good job I'm a naturist as they even do ur boobs ha ha, £4 for an hour, god i wish u cud get em in england!!! Dentist di...

After gettin in at 6, I still managed to get up for 12, i got a moped taxi to go to the bank and post office where I sent my huge, heavy beach bag, thick debenhams tops n elephant photo back home! £10 on the boat n it takes 1 to 3 months ha!!! Whilst en route I happened to see the thai festival, dragon march where they throw water at the crowd!!! Booked myself in to have my diamond put in my tooth tomora at 630, £12, not the £50 like my skank in derby! Been...

Got off the plane from laos in bangkok n got an air conditioned bus for 125 baht, bout £2.25 for 2 hour journey!!! Was great to see scotty too Hotty wen he finally got outta bed, had no phone cred but a lovely lady spent half an hour sortin me out, god the ppl r so helpful, certainly wudnt happen in jacksons!!! Asked Scott if I was meetin his missus n he sed 'unfortunately not, she f***ed off wen she found out I was comin to stay', aaaaahhhhhhhh well, certainly...

Wow, that was the best £50 I've Eva spent!!! Read about pattaya orphanage in the lonely planet so I took a trip to toys'r'us n bought some toys!!! Was extremely nervous in the taxi on my way there as I didn't know wot to expect!!! I had visions of unhappy, unclean children being shouted at!!! The security guard looked mean initially but let me in wen he saw my bag full of toys!!! Wen I got out of the car with my bag, all the kids ran up to me with their arms...

Saw these kids jumping into the river whilst on the slow boat, wot a picture!!! We met a group of young lads from essex n checked into the same guest house as them, wen they told us it was 4 ppl in a 3 bed i wondered how it wud work but the beds were massive and the bathroom had actually had a wipe down!!! Back out at utopia for nice house chardonnay and carbonnara before heading to the local disco, and wen i say local, i mean local as none of the other tourists ...