Vital Statistics

Days on hollyday: 9

Number of massages: 7

Number of mosquito bites: too numerous to count

Number of over sharing expats: 3 - "So your girlfriend is 29 years younger than you and you feel a tad uncomfortable about that - er, hope it works out for you"; "So, you run the Chiang Mai AA, how interesting -hic"

Number of Wats visited - 243 (ok, maybe 9 -but you've seen one wat...)

Increase in Thai language: 1000% (ok -from a starting point of 2 phrases)

Days taken to lose my mobile phone: 2 - doh!

Music mostly listened to: Miike Snow, Florence and the Machine, Hot Chip, Paloma Faith, Dan le Sac, endless radiohead tunes being badly hashed over on a guitar by white guys with dreads...

Well the trip started well enough though hopefully not as I mean to go on.Got lost in deepest darkest west London getting to Heathrow and am very grateful to Ryan, keeping his cool (as ever) after 3 hours sleep, at 6 on a Sunday morning, managing to follow the roads under the flyover and making several very impressive u-turns to get me to the airport with whole minutes to spare (thanks Cuz for lending us the car - I'm sure there will be no permanent damage).This also helped in that it didn't give me long to fret about the flight(s).Thankfully the Emirates staff were very generous with their libations (though not as generous as Virgin ; ) which combined with the sleeping tablets got me through the turbulence without any tears (a special thanks goes to Hils - I thought about a boat a lot, as I watched the little mermaid).

Got to the Bangkok Airport 5 hours before little bro was to arrive - what to do? Begin my time in Thailand as I mean to go on - with a 2 hour foot and back massage.Finally with Danny in tow, coping commendably with the culture shock, we found the only taxi who genuinely did not know where the Kho San Road is!Much hilarity ensued.After tramping around a bit, I realised that by spending an additional couple of good English pounds on a room we could get a few extra luxuries, like a toilet seat, a light in the bathroom and an absence of rust coloured stains on the walls and linens - nice.

I left Danny to sleep whilst I people watched and got reacquainted with Singha, back on the Kho San Road.Over the next few days Dan and I visited my favourite lazy Buddha - at Wat Pho - handily located next to the famous reflexology massage centre (it would have been rude not to pop in - though Danny is convinced they have broken his foot), did a bike tour of Bangkok (funnily enough we were the only ones on the tour, given it was 37 degrees, 100% humidity and started at 1 pm),gawked at the shims at Patpong and ate masses of pad thai before getting a train to Chiang Mai.

Dan made a buddy in Bangkok (Woody, a bouncer from Leeds) who also happened to be on the same train, so we all shared a room at MD House, a lovely place with a pool and should we have been so inclined a gym (we weren't).Chiang Mai is a beautiful walled city, about 1 mile sq and on a grid system (making it quite difficult to get lost in - unless you really persevere and put some effort in).Still I think I have just got about the hang of it, and in contrast to BKK it's lovely to be able to walk everywhere and pass some stunning architecture around every corner. It's also a nice balmy 34 degrees.You'd think I'd remember it from last time I was here but that was a long time ago and as I hazily recall I spent most of my time honing my pool and drinking skills (where are they now?!).

Danny popped off on a trek with Woody whilst I got my chakras balanced on a reiki one refresher - Om.Then I spent Chinese New Year at a funky little Jazz co-op.

Dan and Woody returned from their boot camp trek broken men having stomped up mountains, rafted, ridden elephants and swum in waterfalls, whilst I by contrast have thrown myself into my intensive massage and reiki regime.We also moved to a different hostel called Julies, much like a trustafarian youth club, but it has a pool table, which is keeping me happy - Danny is definitely the better player (for now ; ) and a lot of funny chat.

Went to a Thai boxing match which was pretty brutal, otherwise the main form of entertainment here appears to be market shopping - with several different markets every night. Each time I get tempted to buy some tat I remember the 7 pairs of fisherman's pants, the bed spreads, wall hangings, chop sticks, lamps etc still in nana's loft, still unpacked from my last trip here that and the weight of my bag I am to lug around for the foreseeable future.

Eatingwise I found out what spicy means in Thai the hard way and we've been indulging in a lot of night market eating roulette - so far so good, the food is a-mazing.

Yesterday Dan and I signed up for an offroad bike ride down a nearby mountain.Until we started I hadn't quite grasped the concept of 'offroad' - it was only after the hour safety briefing, when the back protectors were brought out that I began to suspect that this wasn't going to be the scenic cycle I had envisaged. We descended from 5,500 to 1000ft.Much like el calle de murte, only without the tarmac and with only a footwide 'track' before a shear drop down a mountain, covered in dust, roots and with lots of rocks to break your fall. You have to stand on the pedals, lock your arms and keep erm, your centre of gravity way back and low- for 40kms. If it hadn't been for the adrenaline I would have been paralysed with fear - as it was I just about laughed my way through.Thanks to Danny I was in a more advanced group which generally left me for dust. I managed a few jumps, but fell off 9 times including once quite spectacularly over the handle bars (learning thai for "piece of sh*t bike" in the process).In contrast Danny only fell twice - he looks like he's been slashed by a tiger - I look like I have been thai boxing.

Then last night we headed back to the Jazz co-op - it was open mic night and after a few beers and a lot of encouragement (ok, not that much encouragement ; ) I did have a sing, first by myself and then with lots of musicians joining in - best karaoke ever.

It's been a great first week and Dan is a great travel buddy. He's also like catnip to the local girls leaving a trail of broken hearts,i'm keeping a close eye on him!Next stop Ton Sai by way of a two 12 hour bus rides beginning tonight (luckily I have 13 episodes of Glee to get through - yay) it's all good and we're all smiles and very relaxed.

Me love you long time

Kerry xxx