Day 267

Not much to do in Bangkok and the weather isn't great. I think with the earthquakes and tsunamis there is a sense of unease across Asia and we pretty much just want to go home now. Thailand is beautiful - even Bangkok - and the people are so nice. Shocked at the level of obesity - especially amongst young children. But then again the place is saturated with McDonalds, Haagen Dazs and Burger King so why be surprised? The world has Westernised this beautiful country and it is unrecognisable in its former glory. Shame.

We are mostly going to the movies as it only costs £2.50 a ticket and the cinemas are AMAZING - why can't the UK do them properly? It makes for a real experience. Red velvet daybeds, giant sofas, cheap tickets..... and you have to stand up for the King. Imagine in the UK being asked to stand up for the National Anthem played to footage of the Queen over the last 50 years - people would refuse, or chuck stuff or jeer. We have no respect as a nation. The Thais totally love their King and I kind of see why - I'm even falling for him a bit myself. He seems to have been the King forever and has done amazing things for Thailand, in terms of environmental work, research and world relations. Plus his country is absolutely wonderful so he should rightfully be very proud. He just needs to work on his prisons and the fat kids.

My sister Kirsty arrives today and I have a packed itinerary for her to celebrate her 40th birthday. Tomorrow night we go for dinner at Cabbages and Condoms. It is a wonderful concept, created by a bonkers Thai entrepreneur who is determined to promote birth control in the provinces. Much of the profit goes to educating the Thai people about contraceptives and sensible family planning. The restaurant is super trendy and decorated with condoms. Contraceptives are given instead of after-dinner mints and you must make a donation to the charity. Kirsty will loathe it. Am not even sure she likes cabbages. It also gives me a long overdue opportunity to explain to my 10 year old daughter all about condoms and their essential usage (chucking water balloons).

We've been doing a lot of home educating this week, trying to get the girls prepared for going back to school, and spent a small fortune in an educational bookshop. Fern got a maths book which we thought was for her age group but contains problems that would stump Einstein. All things like 'Mr Bobbins has 1298 buttons. His brother has 345 fewer oranges. On what day of the week did their mother die?'. Rufus and I end up shouting at each other over the problems, hurling insults and screaming the wrong answer. The kids at this point have generally scuttled off and are happily playing in the pool while I stare blankly into the sky, holding my pencil poised over the paper and Rufus tries complicated equations on his iPod. Occasionally we think we have found the answer and snap at each other 'I always knew you were a bit thick, the answer is clearly Paris.'

Fern can swim 30 lengths and is getting really fit - she looks amazing and is all muscly and tanned and blonde. Clover can also swim several lengths in her own, inimitable style. Rufus and I have tried to go to the gym a lot where we attempt to outdo each other on side-by-side treadmills. He always wins, having been blessed with two good lungs and a competitive streak. We've given up on shopping as things are expensive generally and we have totally run out of money. Everything is done on a budget which is hard work and a bit depressing. But we are trying to stay positive and upbeat and are looking forward to getting home for good. Even better, kind Auntie Kirsty has offered to take the girls back to her hotel with her tonight and give us a well deserved night-off. We're thrilled; we can finish those maths problems in peace.