2 days ago I hit a dog. Presumed dead. This was quite sad for me as I am sympathetic to the plight of dogs in general, and there is an especially soft spot in my heart for the dogs of Mexico. He was tearing into a plastic bag next to a tope in the middle of my lane as I approached at about 20 mph. I moved into the oncoming lane (there were no cars, and the tope was significantly less severe) but just as I was about to pass him he darted his usual path back to what experience had always told him was safety, but was in fact my front bumper, and then front differential, and then rear. I liken this to only looking one way before crossing a one way street...why? It doesn't cost you anything to look both ways. I am currently very in tune with the notion of blunt force trauma.

I affected that dog in meaningful ways.

1 day ago I hit a tarantula. Certainly dead. I saw him WALKING as I approached at 70 mph. No significant damage to the truck.

Today a bird s*** on my new t shirt. As i cleaned it with two leaves i was reminded of the fact that birds poop and pee at the same time, and then I was reminded of the best response I have ever heard to the age old question "what super power would you most want?"

"Poop before I pee, no doubt in my mind"
-Mitch

In the war with the animals I'd say I'm still up 2-1, although it is a thankless battle, which I fear is only beginning.

As I traveled from palenque to San cristobal, two things entered my state of awareness. I was in Zapatista country, and the road signs with distances are maddeningly incorrect.

On Zapatistas: they are a paramilitary group turned Facebook group who enjoy the same brand of popularity that Che Guevara and tibet do with college kids, T-shirt companies and rock groups.

They are led by a non-deadbeat hippy liberal who goes by the title sub commandante Marcos. He is presumed to be a well educated son of a prominent Mexican family although his true identity remains a mystery.

In 1994 armed guerrilla zapatistas took over much of the Chiapas area including the towns of ocosingo and San cristobal by force, only to be seriously beat down by the Mexican military. The zapatistas retreated to the hills and a ceasefire agreement was signed, although the military almost immediately violated this agreement and gave the Zapatistas another kick right square in the baklava'd balls.

From what it seems, the Chiapas area has always been the red headed golden step hen of Mexico. It is heavily Mayan, full of natural resources, and is the beginning of the true jungle... I have heard viet nam referenced several times with respect to the significant difficulties associated with battling an entrenched local. In essence the Mexicans are facing the same issue most nations around the world are... How to extract the goods, without pissing off the natives, or giving them anything in return for it.

Their current version of shells and small pox blankets...?

Shoot the s*** out of anyone willing to die for the cause and force the rest of them into the social media, where they will accomplish little more than helping some third party to sell some rock records and t shirts.

I looked up some of their current causes, and found them to be largely unexciting rhetoric. Nonsense to me. Far less exciting than the taking up of arms, that's for sure.

Great t shirts though.

Currently the Zapatistas have a sign posted outside their village on the way to San cristobal which reads.

"Here the village mandates and the government obeys"

this is painted on wood planks as are their road signs. They are extremely poor, and the public services are non existent.

Twice, gangs of kids sitting on the side of the road pulled a rope up in front of the car as a road block. Then an older kid came up and asked if I wanted to donate for the virgin. He pointed at a stature of a virgin which was erected in a box on the side of the road.

"How much does she want?"

Whatever I feel I can give?... Ok here's 2 pesos, thanks.

The second time I didn't really slow down a lot... I waved them off, the rope came up and then when they realized I wasn't stopping they all dropped it... I half expected it to snag and to see the virgin and a couple of kids get yanked off their foundations, but alas. I passed without incident... I did hit the dog later this day though....

I have heard of a similar story in which girls appear to be jump roping, but then as traffic approaches they quickly convert to a roadblock. The version I heard they were raising money for a party. They got the marines and the police to donate too.

The other Zapatista-ie thing they do here is set up multi-multi pay points to visit the wonders of their land.

Upon entering misol ha, an epic waterfall:
"How much to see the waterfall?"
10 pesos.
"Ok here you go."
Drive another 250m and round a corner.
"One ticket? That'll be 36 pesos"

"Christ! how many more if these are there ?" You say.

"Last one"

And then you go pay to park..

True guerrilla tactics, place the victim somewhere in the fog between resources expended and and an uncertain future, not unlike Disneyland, and next to impossible to combat, once involved.

On the highway signs:
They are never the stated distance from the stated town. Not many things are more unpleasant than believing you are only 70 km away and then after driving for another 1/2 hr finding you are actually 90km away now.

My current coping technique is as follows: generally there are about 4 signs before the town, you are therefore either 3/4, 1/2, or 1/4 of the way there...this actually works well. It's not the result, just the effective management of expectations.

The throwing of toilet paper into a garbage can still vexes me... I am about 90% on remembering to do this to spite the fact it is effectively signed in every bathroom I have ever been in... Making it one of the most signed "anything" I have encountered in this whole country.

What I do not care for most however, are the swinging lids. These, convert the game of throwing away soiled toilet paper, from basketball to s*** pong. Best case, you sneak it in when the lid misjudges you, bad case, you high five the poop lid, or worst, it swats the poop paper onto the floor. FEO!

All of the live music I have seen here has been surf rock... Which I have decided, is bad.

San cristobal can be quite dangerous to the passerby. I fully expected to be there a few days, but it tuned into a week. The air is cold and crisp. The accommodations were very pleasant and cheap. I was in an rv park, with a Canadian who had been there for 11 years, Ray. He said he didn't talk much and really didn't like people... And then proceeded to talk my ear off every day.
He wasn't very pleasant in any way but I kind of liked him in spite of it.

"Hey ray, check out this shirt I just got, I think you'll like it..."

"Well I don't." He says.
" i like just plain shirts, like this one here from Costco."

"Ok...it's not for you Ray... What do you want to talk about? Ray"

Very knowledgable on the ways down here though, and it was an unpleasantness that is not entirely unfamiliar to me...MONSON!

I recommend San cristobal to anyone in the area. A great base for exploration.

I met an Italian in San cristobal who had fallen in love in Tapachula. The family was very religious and asked him of he believed in god. He told them no, that he was still looking for god, in Mexico at the moment. Some time later the brother of his love interest warned that if his italian intentions were not good, he would take the machete to him.

It seemed like he had fled... But he assured me that his intentions were good, and that he intended to return to Tapachula to demonstrate this.

A quote from a girl from Philly:
" I love these whacka doodle teens hanging all over each other in the parks."

It seems that not only has the Catholic Church convinced them that birth control is the devils work, now it has driven their rampant sex drives into the streets, and presumably out of sight of their parents. They are literally everywhere in all the various states of embrace.

I witnessed one father leaving mass in the evening with his wife and very pretty 17 yr old daughter (young) the man crossed himself three times, knelt , crossed himself again and then left, only to return through the side door to touch more of the statues hands, genuflect and kneel some more... His last act was to get on both knees and kiss the floor, which was also the main aisle.

I wanted to ask him how old his daughter was, just to see if he REALLY meant all that jazz, but I decided against it...
Maybe all that was FOR the last guy who asked that.

Headed back to the Yucatan... It's a long story as to why... Ill explain in the next episode.

Happy holidays,

Joe