Dear Len and Atul

Thank you for buy us a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon for our wedding present. It was really good fun and an amazing way to see it. The Grand Canyon for those people who don't know is like a big hole in the ground with a river going through it. It is like other holes in the ground with rvers going through them but being 'grand', it is bigger than all the rest.

Mum was a big scared of going in the helicopter so it was a good job we had to wear a life jacket each because that made everything better. Also, it is good to have a reliable, sensible pilot flying you so we are pleased we got 'Mad dog' Mike. Mad dog, with his believes that aliens definitely do exist and global warming is a myth, his educational and informative tour consisted of saying things like 'Wow look at that. Isn't it cool' and showing us pictures of his 'smoking hot' wife smoking a joint.

We have done so many amazing things on this trip that at times you can get a bit of traveler fatigue; 'oh look another amazing thing blah blah blah' so it takes something special like when you descend over the rim of the canyon in a little helicopter for the first time to send that little tingle down your spine, when the layers of rocks at amazing heights stretch out before you as far as the eye can see you have one of moment of feeling like you are somewhere amazing. Or maybe it was just that the helicopter had a little wobble at that point causing my mum to grip my hand even tighter and cutting off the circulation that did it.

We got to land at the bottom of the canyon for a posh afternoon lunch consisting of a babybel, some grapes and some biscuits. That sounds a bit sarcastic but what you don't realise is that it all came with Ranch dressing which is our new favourite thing in the whole world. Everything tastes amazing with Ranch dressing. Mmm Ranch dressing. Anyway, so we also got champagne for the ladies and a bottle of Stella for the men (except for dad who only had a diet coke) and some more informative spiel from 'Mad dog'. Apparently, all helicopter pilots are either suicidal or alcoholics because they are not allowed to smoke weed. Hmm.

And so our American adventure continues. I might have got a bit distracted in the last blog with a rant about Americans so I suppose I should backtrack a bit with what we are doing here. This leg of our honeymoon has been joined by my lovely parents, the sort of people you can not see for five months and yet, when meeting up with them it is so easy to get on that it is like we have never been away. We have appreciated their laidback approach to travelling their appetite to playing cards, mum's ability to have the worst reaction to a bee sting ever and dad's ability to make me laugh so much I couldn't breath (although I have promised to not tell you why).

They met us at the airport in what is, without a doubt, the biggest car you have ever seen. I might might have overestimated how much luggage Donna and I have because why else would they turn up with a tank. The Beast, as it has been Christened can fit all our bags in the boot and still have a spare row of unused seats to spare. Take that Sunny. It also has so many k*** and buttons for every sort of gadget under the sun. The endless miles fly by while we all in earnest try and work out which button adjusts our seats. We like the Beast so we bought him some nice furry dice from Vegas so he looks pretty cool.

So during our last few days of Vegas and we decided that we should check out a show while we were there and what better way to appreciate Las Vegas than to go and see a French circus show. We picked Ka by Cirque Du Soleil show because someone showed us some pictures of it and it looked exciting. The last Cirque Du Soleil show I went to see was about twenty years ago when they had just started out. Back then, it was rubbish full of annoying French clowns who just aren't very funny. Luckily those chaps have got their act together since then and put on a jolly good show. Ok so the story was still s***, all about a green Power Ranger getting it on with a man in a thong and someone being attacked by a giant tortoise and they still have a little bit in it with s*** French clowns but you can't have everything. All the stunts and stuff was brilliant. Well done, French circus people, you've really picked your game up.

We have now left Nevada behind and are meandering our way cross country to San Francisco. A journey that so far has taken us through a wide variety of locations and places to stay. From the desolately beautiful Death Valley, through the alpine snow covered mountains of the Sierra Nevada mountain range and down through the English countryside valleys of Northern California. It has been necessary to learn how to use the panoramic setting on my camera because every view is stunning in 350 degrees. We have successfully missed at least two 'must-go-to' national parks, one because we forgot to turn left and the other because the road was closed due to snow. We have stayed at old haunted hotels where the floors are every angle possible except flat, a Wild West Themed hotel and a cute little motel in the middle of nowhere where our dinner consisted of Doritos and Budweiser from the only local store open past eight pm.

Death Valley is the hottest place on Earth apparently. Supposedly, it is meant to get up to 57 degrees there, so we were a bit let down when we exited the Beast at Dante's View to discover it was bloody cold and we were shivering in jeans and hoodies. What's that all about? Typical mis-advertising. Even though my jeans are not very good at keeping me warm anymore due to the huge hole that has developed in the bottom/crotch are. It is so big I have to be very careful what underwear I wear and I get a jolly draft even on warm days.

It may not be warm here but it is still the desert and deserts tend to be very dry. (Unlike desserts which can be very moist if they involve cream or chocolate sauce). I can cope with the dry and chapped lips but it is the bogies which are really getting to me. My nose feels like it has hundreds of razor sharp daggers. Everyone thinks it is rude because I am picking my nose the whole time but they do realise that to get bone dry lethal edged bogies out takes a lot of precision and delicate maneuvering so that you don't stab yourself.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes. Peacocks. We stayed overnight at a Wild West themed motel which was full of peacock. My only previous experience of large numbers of peacock was at Leeds Castle in Kent so I didn't realise there was a link between them and the Wild West but there you go. They are quite exciting when they stick all their feathers in the air, but then they start shaking them all which I think is meant to intimidate people which worked for me because I ran away and left Donna to fend for herself. She survived this time, but it is good to know I have a wife I can run faster than, next time we meet dangerous wildlife. They also make a noise like a 'CAW' which is quite easy to replicate. or I found it easy to replicate which would imply I have discovered yet another new skill.

Lots of love

Donna and Jim