Not a bad night's sleep then really, the bed was comfortable and I managed to select a comfie pillow from the six provided, how many heads did they think I had? 

I had decided last night that I would get to TPA quite early, I never like to be pressed for time when I travel, as you never really know what the fates have in store for you. So I selected an 8am departure from the hotel. I forgot to confirm with the front desk exactly what time the courtesy bus left. 

Oh yeah, the courtesy bus .... or should I just say ..... the bus. 

We drew up to the hotel last night and everyone got off and wandered down to the back for the luggage. The driver, a male guest and me ..... so was I being naive when I kind of expected the driver, at least, to help me unload my heavy cases? Well yes, clearly I was, so no tip there then! 

Or, this evening's big tip is to help the guests with their luggage, just think, you slob, you could have been a few dollars better off than you are this morning! 

Anyhow, moving on .... I arrived downstairs just in time for the bus and arrived here at the airport a little early but with prospects of a bite to eat for brekkie. 

I had been given a preferential pass through Security, as usual with AA, I don't know whether it is to do with my age or my airline status (I am a BA Silver frequent flyer, which equates to Sapphire with AA). Anyhow, that went smoothly but there are never the horrendous queues that you find at Miami, another reason why I travel from here. 

I decided to buy a brunch, hell, I needed a second mortgage! One yoghurt with a few lumps of strawberries and raspberries and some horrible cinnamon granola crap to go on the top, a bottle of water and a croissant with the ubiquitous cheese and some turkey. That little, emphasis on the little, knocked me back a little over $25, b***** I!! 

So I am now sat at the gate, feet up, free wifi, full of yoghurt, waiting for my AA 737 to turn up. One has just arrived but it may be for the flight before mine. I have checked, it has two wings, two engines and there's nothing visible falling off it, so I'm happy to go with this one, if it turns out to be mine. 

Why is it that most planes have little turned up bits on the end of their wings? It's almost like they tried to squeeze it into a hanger and the doors weren't wide enough! 

Well, despite the strange wings, I have now arrived in the dreaded Miami. The blow has been softened considerably by having secured a nice room at the Courtyard by Marriott, loosely translated as the Marriott for Poor People. I don't care, it's heaps better than a Best Western Being Refurbished. 

I got here about 1.30 after a very odd flight. The pilot took us up to 25000 feet, stayed there for five minutes and then began his descent into Miami. I had a 4 star seat which didn't cost me anything but, again, I think my frequent flyer thing kicks in so I don't have to pay. 

It was a good job that I am now a Miami airport veteran and know where to go. as there is still a distinct lack of signs to help the unwary traveller. I expect there are a lot of unwilling inhabitants there who just can't find their way out! Bit like that Tom Hanks movie where he lived in an airport for months. 

The hotel is a pick up stop for the local shopping mall bus. I was all set to go but then I went outside and spotted some nice comfie rattan garden chairs, so decided on a cold beer and some hot sun. I'll leave the shopping until I get back to Tampa. 

To be honest most of the shops at the Miami mall were way above my pay grade and appear to be outlets. For outlet, read - all the old crap that they couldn't sell in their other shops. Also I don't really want to cram anything else into my case with a lot of flying left to do. 

I am starting to wonder what the hell everyone used to do without their bloody i-Phones! We nearly ran over a girl who stepped out in front of the bus, too busy catching up with someone she probably only saw a quarter of an hour before. There was a woman on the plane who had it sown to her ear, I think. Damn me, it was only a one hour flight from start to finish and that included taxiing out and waiting in a queue of planes for take off. She only shut up and turned it off as we started to roll and then as the pilot was braking on Miami's runway, she was back on again. 

Years ago , if you were seen wandering around having a conversation, seemingly with yourself, you'd be carted off to the local funny farm. Now the rest of us have to sit there and listen to the intimate details of someone's toilet regularity or their shopping list, or worse still, this was overheard today, a wife accusing her husband of having an affair with her best friend! Ooooh juicy!!. 

Let alone all those complete tossers who think we need to listen to their business calls. I think they're scared that someone may just forget who they are at the office whilst they are commuting in. 

OK rant over, just because I can't work my phone properly and keep sending texts half finished because I've hit the send button instead of the delete button! (both symbols seem to have a cross on them, so have pity on the old folk!) Then I have to send another one which always starts off with' b*****, sorry about that, what I meant to say was....' 

Not sure what to eat tonight. There is a restaurant here, I have the me'n'you here but everything is either fried or coming up for the third and final time in its sea of cheese. Oh, or full of bloody chillies! 

How can you have a Turkey BLT? Surely it should be a TLT or a BLTT? Ah now here's something different .... Chihuahua Cheese, is it a small hot dog, with cheese? It comes with ham, avocado and a fried egg in a burger bun. Bloody hell that sounds gross!! 

Well, I rushed down here because it's Happy Hour, woohoo! Unfortunately the Pinot Noir is not included, but, well, I'm on holiday, so what the hell. I am going for the BLTT but there is no B, so it's a LTT and hold the Champs sauce, heaven only knows what that is. 

Looks like I missed a bit of excitement at the aiport today? Whilst I was waiting for my courtesy bus to the hotel, I noticed a lot of K9 police cars parked all around but didn't think any more about it. 

Watching the news tonight it seems they had been called out to an alert about a man with a suspicious package. Not sure how, but the authorities had somehow allowed this man to board a plane. WTF?? 

Oh yes Sir, welcome aboard, let me help you with that strange parcel you have, let me help you to put it in the overhead bin...... Hmm, it's making a strange ticking noise ........ 

Wasn't it x-rayed? My whole body and internal workings were x-rayed last time I was here. What numpty let them through? 

So anyway, the police. 'storm' the plane, all the passengers have to sit there with their hands on their heads whilst umpteen police with slavering bomb detector dogs crawl all over it looking for this suspicious man and his parcel! 

Do I really want to travel out through this fiasco of an airport tomorrow? No choice really, I just have to hope that he didn't decide to hide in the gents and try again tomorrow! 

By the way, or BTW in textspeke, it was actually a BLTT, I found cured pig within, I'm almost sure. 

So it's off to bed I go, just one more night until I meet up with my travel companions, hope they have a sense of humour and no irritating habits......