'Sup Nerds. Before I begin... I'd like you all to know that I've earned myself some bloody good choc, which is giving me brain food for the blog, as I'm currently running on empty. Rum and Raisin Choc, if you please. Whittaker's Choc. Get involved haters. Got smart, was up nice and crispy early at 6am. Was buzzing for the hike, but first I had to get some real boring, sensible housewife s*** from the store. I also strategically dropped my s...

Alright you daft b*****s? So guess what... I'm now in the South Island... I say 'I'... Because me and Moses have in fact gone our separate ways... For a little bit! Don't panic parents! We haven't argued! We've just got slightly different thinking patterns... Mine's a little abnormal... Without sounding like a complete tosser, I fancied myself a little independence. Turns out I'm not completely crap at getting about after all! ......

I learnt a valuable lesson whilst being on this trip. If a hostel offer you rent free bikes.... immediately DECLINE. Fancied ourselves a nice trip up to the huge Redwood Forest in Rotorua. The nice man at the desk offered for us to use their bikes for free... Free bikes? Or pay $40 to hire... Be rude not to. The bikes were there... Ready and waiting... Like a couple of vicious dogs, ready to attack...Sorry, whilst writing this blog, I look down, and there's...

My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots... "PROUDFEET!"Sorry folks, had to be done... And if you don't have a pickle what that is referring to... Well, shame on you! Go back to the shadows of which you came... You're banned from reading anymore of my entries. Not sure that poses as a threat to any of you really... So yeah, we definitely visited the bloody SHIRE didn't we...

Alright you bunch of scallywags? I'm gonna be straight with you... I've taken full advantage of the free coffee here... Couldn't find a spoon at first... So I just tipped the coffee into the mug as a rough measurement. Think I may have put a little too much in. It'd be rude to pour it back in the tin... So I'm taking one for the team, and dealing with it like a man. The consistency of this coffee... Is like syrup. I don't think I'll b...