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I've spent two months in Fiji, and it is time to leave. Because my stay was so long - for such a small country, I really did get to partake in som real Fijian experiances and to be a 'local' from time to time. I have made some lasting friendships here, and I've been recieved with friendly smiles and endless meals everywhere.
I guess one of the most important things I learned about the Fijian culture, is how important family is to them. Everybody knows who everyone in their family is - and what their connection is - all the way out the the 6.th cousin. They think it is very strange and quite sad when westerners tell them that they don't even know who their 3rd cousin is.
So, as a Fijian, your live in the same house with your immidate family, until you get married. Around you in the village lives the rest of your family, unless some of them have moved away to work. When someone gets married, the woman moves into the husband's village, and everybody there becomes her family also. I remember being very confused when I walked around Silana village with Sala. She kept introducing people as 'her grandmother (Bombo)', 'her uncle' and so on. After a time I realized that she had a lot of family here, even though she came from another village. I asked her about it, and she explained that through her marriage, her husbands relatives were now her relatives. That's a lot of people.
When I was in Caqalai, we went to a village, and the old woman you can see in the picture told us the boy was very close relations. Her younger brother's grandson. She was looking after him. When you travel around you can always see old people with young children, and they interact in the most natural way. No tantrums, and no difficulty because of age difference. It just looks so very different from home.
Hanging out with Nox in Levuka: we would have plans to do something - and he would show up with his cousins. I don't know how many of them I met in the end. But when you meet someone on the street, you just include them in whatever you are doing. And people are NEVER alone. And how they are with the young kids. Never have I seen such adoration, even teenage boys will pick up the baby and play with him or her. Fab to see the giants (olympic game champion size guys) walking around in the village with a tiny baby in their arms. It might not even be theirs.
The thing that I didn't get to the bottom of though:
Nox' uncle works at the police station, and we went past there every day. After a while I got to know him a bit, and I always stopped to talk to him. When I walked by with Nox, they wouldn't say much to each other. Because. It is taboo to talk to the uncle's on your mother's side. You also don't eat the same food. You walk out of the way when they show up. It is respect. If they wanted to know something about the other, they would ask someone else who might know. I understamd that they want to show respect, but why in this way. Nobody could answer me.
On the father's side it is different - the younger brother is called 'little father' and the older brother is called 'big father'. The children of your siblings AND the children of your 1st cousins are all your nephews and nieces. It is like everyone move one step closer to you. That's what it is all about. And rugby. And kava.
I was proud to catch a rugby match, and to see the Tui Tavua, the high chief of Fiji there!
I also met some sailors - one of them has been travelling for 9 years, he said: too bad you're leaving on Monday, we woould've taken you out sailing. MAN!!!! Maybe some other time... We had a good party in the evening thoug. In fact so good that my camera was kicked out of my hand. It was funny when everybody on the dancefloor was looking for it. Not so funny when I realized that all the pictures in it was lost. And there were some good ones. Well I guess the memories will have to do. I was even invited to a wedding that evening, danced salsa with a Fijian who had been to Germany. Good people, good times.
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