"Welcome to Phuket the place where dreams are made of"..... or maybe not - more like welcome to Phuket the place where you can expect death by bunk beds.

Lets start from the beginning. Our trip to Phuket has been short but perhaps not so sweet. We flew down from Chiang Mai and managed to befriend some other stranded tourists (including 2 Germans mum!!) and get a minibus into Phuket town where we had booked our one nights accommodation before venturing on to phi phi. Once we found our hostel, whose name shall remain anonymous, we were greeted by a lovely owner who proceeded to tell us whilst showing us the grand tour that the shower was broken, the toilet was broken, our door handle was broken and basically if the roof stayed up overnight it had been a success. I guess for 4 pounds u can't really complain. Whilst freshening up we also realised that the window was broken, the fan was broken, a section of the wall was missing and the bunk beds were two sleeps away from collapsing. Emma therefore kindly agreed to hold her breath all night long to avoid Amy suffering a quick but yet painful death. I on the other hand, who is a massive wriggler when I sleep, have been subjected to a bed which moves 5 meters side to side every time I twitch my toes. Video showing this shall follow soon. Toilet breaks are therefore out of bounds tonight. To make it worse we are convinced that our room is at the centre of the earth as it is 100• Celsius. And don't even get us started on the bed stains!! Forgot 99 bottles on the wall - Emma has decided to treat us to a count down until we can leave. It's 5 hours an 47 minutes to go didn't you know. The only silver lining to this experience is that we managed to score breakfast for 20p. And that there are two half naked tanned Danish men next door. I didn't look I promise Adam! Well not for long.....

We did however have a lovely evening in Phuket town where we enjoyed a lovely sit down meal with a few cheeky daiquiris. We also wandered the streets and encountered a local market where Thai girls were having acrylic nails done for 2 pounds and hamsters were for sale for 50p. I'm still not 100% whether Emma stole one and smuggled him into her bra but I'm sure customs will find out soon enough. We finished the night off with a few games of pool and a beer in our local bar. Unfortunately we weren't good enough to hussle any local folk but we did get some super attractive footage of Emma sprawled across the table and Amy complaining
about the awkward position of her balls. Honestly, you can't take these girls anywhere.

So Phuket its been wonderful but thankfully I have .... 5 hours and 32 minutes left... And needless to say if I never see another bunk bed again it will still have been too soon. Goodnight x