Welcome to Chiang Mai!

On arrival we were instantly greeted by our toothless Thai friend Tom the tuk tuk driver. He took us and a handful of other backpackers to our hostels and the 45minute journey cost us a pound each. I wonder if 69'ers in Dunstable will reconsider their prices when they hear about their competition?? Probably not.. Tom kindly gave us his business card and told us that if we needed any assistance the next day to give him a shout. After realising how bloody useless our hostel was at giving us suggestions we decided to call Tom. He was our personal chaffeur for the day and all for the price of 4 pounds each!!! We visited the tiger temples where we were able to cuddle the cutest baby tigers and use them as pillows - warning do not attempt this in the wild as we will not be held responsible liable for any consequences! Amy and Emma thereafter met the big tigers and tried
to act all nonchalant next to them when deep down they were bricking it! Tom then kindly drove us to visit the long neck Karen tribe around the corner where we were again asked to buy those stupid frog toys (honestly what's the fascination?) and we met a few women who frankly looked like they needed a lie down with so much bling around their neck. Emma naturally tried to join their gang but settled with a bracelet rather than the full neck brace. Probably a good idea in hindsight as I am not sure airport security would have been too impressed with that piece setting off their metal detector. We also think we might have met this 'Karen' lady, their ring leader no doubt,
however, like the back of the bus this will forever remain a mystery.

We then asked Tom to take us on a tour of all of the temples in Chiang Mai to make up for the lack of temple visits previously. At our last temple we stumbled across a sign which said you could ask the monks anything you wanted. Needless to say a 20 minute chat with us girls resulted in asking him what he wore to bed, if he was sad that he didn't have a girlfriend and did he not get cold walking around half naked all day. Well you know what they say you can take the girl out of England but........

We decided to finish the evening off by
A visit to the night bazaar which is a must do in Chiang Mai. I managed to refrain from buying fisherman trousers as I feared Adams reaction when i turned up at the airport all bohemian and what not and tbh he probably would have set them on fire whilst I was in the shower. I did however decide to go crazy and buy place mats for my future house which doesn't exist. My contemplation over the colour scheme was the funniest - I often had to remind myself that this house didn't exist and therefore it didn't really matter. Still one day both I and my parents are praying I will move out and so eventually They should come in handy. Anyway Adam shouldn't protest too much over the purchase since it is food related...

We decided to kick start day two in Chiang Mai with a visit to the women's correctional institution aka Azkaban for naught Thai ladies. As tempting as shacking up with them in their 2 x 2 sq cells was, our purpose for our visit was to get a foot massage. If its good enough for Carl Pilkington (an idiot abroad) it's good enough for us. Although we had expected to be thrown into a concrete padded cell, we were greeted by a spa style retreat. To call it lovely would not do it
justice. This is an absolute must experience for anyone who wants to come to Chiang Mai and for 3 pounds I had my scabby feet turned into something smooth, silky and goddess like - well as goddess like as these ugly things can be. For a whole hour the women pampered us silly and it was so disappointing that it had to come to end. They were an absolute delight to meet and couldn't stop smiling as we giggled away when they tickled our toes.

We decided to visit the Chiang Mai zoo after this and again for the ridiculous price of £2 we got to see lions, tigers, elephants, koala bears, giraffes, hippos and for an extra £2 we got to meet chuang chuang the panda. He was a bit of a legend even if he did refuse to be romanced by the ladies (there was a lovely detailed description on how the baby panda was artificially inseminated because he wouldn't give it up and there were graphic pictures to prove it!!) Our personal favourite moment was when he decided to sit in his chair to chew his lunch like a grown up. We hand fed the giraffes, hippos and elephants and it was crazy how close they came up to the people - Whipsnade Zoo would have had a field day with all their barbered wire and fences. All in all the sun was shinning, our beautiful feet resorted back to their scabby like appearances, and we had a lovely day!

On our third and last day in Chiang Mai we decided to become elephant keepers for the day. We went to an elephant conservation camp where we were shown basic elephant commands such as 'sung' which means lift your leg and 'pai' which meant walk forward. We then practised getting on the elephants heads (not their backs as the weight causes the elephants pain -cheeky fact of the day for you) and riding them bare back throughout the jungle. Despite the owner insisting on us posing on the elephants ghangnam style (what a weirdo) it was great fun feeding the elephants and practising our best Thai accents. After a tasty lunch we then climbed back onto our elephants jungle book style and waddled off to the river banks. Amy and Emma unfortunately had a stroppy elephant who choose rather to grunt (did you know elephants grunt? We didn't!) than to get into the river whereas my elephant (yup I was trusted with one all myself can you believe it!) was loving it so much it decided to wait until it was in the water before letting out a giant poo. Needless to the say despite warnings, the other girls in our trip squealed in disgust as the 'floater' made its way over to where they were washing their elephant, Kevin and perry style. Having washed our elephants, which resorted in the elephants turning it into a wet shirt contest, mine decided he was off. On our trek back to the mainland our elephants decided to go rogue and take as many tree branches and bushes with them as was possible. I was subjected to the unfortunate incident of my elephant getting too close to Amy an Emma's and his only response was to fart in our faces. That experience wasn't quite on my bucket list but its nevertheless one for the grand kids. We then finally dismounted our elephants and fed them a feast of bananas and pineapples before posing for photos and waving goodbye. It was possibly the most surreal experience ever and I have learnt a valuable life lesson - don't get to close to an elephants behind unless you want a face full of fart!