So with great anticipation we jumped out of bed for our early ride to the elephants...about an hour away. Okay actually it was a bit of a crawl out of bed as it is comfortable there.....off for breaky and man the service here kicks bloody ass....can not look anywhere without someone watting or saying hi. Stuff the bags zip em shut and head downstairs. Our driver had been waiting already but I never noticed him...so ended up waiting an extra 5 minutes till the staff figured it out and came and got us.  

Off we went....the drive there is really nice. you rise into the mountains and there are spotty rain clouds etc...still hot out though. Shauna is sleeping I am snapping pics and writing a blog.....the new net book is working out nice.  

So we pull into this really scenic entrance to the Elephant Conservation Center.....pretty amazing....we hop out and our guy Supat...greets us...says follow me....stuffs mahout clothes in our hands and tells us to go change in the bathroom...no prob....cept don't know bout you but I and Shauna never put on Mahout cloths before....the shirt no problem...the pants...well bit weird...came down to my knees and was capable of stuffing a redwood tree in each pant leg. Won't even believe how big the waste was...and it all ties together with a cord sown in from the back on each side.

I put mine on not quite sure...feelin pretty geeky..didn't want the elephants to laugh and point and maybe stomp me to death cause I was an obvious new guy and all and also looked like a dork...

So fine Shauna has her gear on....looking as geeky as me....and next thing we are whisked into a group of similar dressed folks from around the world in a big area that elephants might play (note no time for bug juice aforementioned or sunblock)....in a matter of a couple of minutes...we each are paired up with an Elephant (not sure where they allcame from)...a mahout...and a piece of paper with all the mahout commands in thai...like "come over here big guy!" goes something like this "Coon poo die mie ka ka doo dee paafooeee" or something like that... or "I see you hiding behind that tree get over here!" uhmmm sorta like this "Ka pa goon pa pa maka maka poop baaaaaaaaaaahupsshe doo"  you have to be careful on the second "pa" as if you use the wrong tone you are calling him a a fat elephant and he will kick your ass......

Now my gal was plenty big... and I was not going to call her fat for obvious reasons. Pung Kwat was her name and my mahout was...lungajlajsdhfoyuhl....or something like that I will call him Bob from now on. She was about 4 or 5 tonnes....I not quite the same....my mahout was a short guy and about 1/3 my weight...he started babbling at the big gal and she did exactly what he wanted her to do....not sure if these commands will work on the wife but hmmmmm. So I am trying to mimick like a parrot along with Shauna and all the others on each of our elephants these commands... "SONG SOON!"  She Makes a step by bending her front leg and you climb up with a lift from her on her neck and sit there...quite amazing...you drop something they go and get it for you and hand it to you with the trunk....They turn on the water tap and get a drink...go over raise a flag...sit down roll over...kneel for you to hop off the head and then jump back on etc etc...very cool. The Mahouts make it look easy...I did not....Shauna was doing good but hard to climb up.

so at his point we apparently are good to go....we and another couple Jill and Chad from Florida...couple of nice kids are on a VIP course...so we are separated from the rest of the group and hop onto our eley's and start walking away from the gang....Shauna then gets to go to the hospital with her Eley cause she is preggers..not Shauna..the Eley...sheesh..and really smart..the eley....and Shauna of course...so she got to experience an elephant pap smear whilst sitting on the eley...glad her and not me...she says it was ok but I dunno...one slip of the wrist and I'm bettin she is pissed and is gonnu get even...with whatever is near.   Glad it was her and not me....did I already say that. So I and Jill and Chad...gathered in a spot for them to get some bamboo then Shauna met up with us and off we went into the jungle....4 wheel drive....thru river stream up hill and down dale....Its raining then its not...then its sunny and smoking hot...this is about where we all discovered the Thai version of the canadian horse fly...not as big but more of them seems they like eley meat...and anything near an eley that is capable of producing red blood cells kinda like us....so we learn how to take some branches and beat the snot out of the air whilst delicately balancing on the head/neck of our respective elephants...to try to kill as many of the flies as you can before you go down.

Very calm sitting on an eley walking thru the jungle...whilst they reach over and knock a tree down to grab the top leafs....without breaking stride that is...they are serious eating machines....can make short work out of a tree in no time....my gal was smart I would have bananas...you feed em one at a time...I learned previously that when you are up there they swing up there trunk kinda pointing it at you....and breathing on you and steaming you up....and expect you to put the banana just under the nose then poof trunk disappears .... and quickly returns....repeat till you are out of bananas...then give the stalk...they know you are out then. From on top you can't see below.....all you see is the top of the eley's head.   So I am doing this cept my gal is hungry and not stupid...I put one under her nose...but her trunk stays there...oohh and she has stopped walking at this point...so I put another....nothing and another....and finally the whole stalk...and pooof trunk dissapears and we walk again cept now I got Bob looking at me like I am some kind bumb ass mahout or something....in very not so good english he is repeating "Noo Unnn Unnn no all at unnn!!!"  who am I to argue with the eley she wants more than one and keeps pointing at my juggler with a trunk with 40000 muscles that can give a flea a vasectomy blindfolded no prob, she gets more than one. Eley one...new mahout zero!

So seriously sitting on my Eley is coolo and Shauna is having a blast...you learn to say "BAE!!!!" a lot... it means go. They are eating machines and getting us anywhere is secondary to the machine.....so you say Bae a lot...and they get tired of hearing it and start to saunter off again...so in the jungle its pretty wild..kind like a jungle out there..... sounds I never heard before...and lotta wierd ass bugs I never saw before...but could see then walking/crawling along on the ground and I was way up on me Eley can you say bigggggg bugs.

K so now sitting on an Eley is kinda neat its like getting a butt massage with each step....ohh eley skin is really rough and they have hair on their heads too....kinda rough at that....so to sit you are supposed to tuck your knees up high over the ears of the eley and park your feet behind the ears....don't know about you but I've never really sat like that for any amount of time...we'll talk about this a bit later.....as it seems to come up still....

So we are trucking along and pop out on a local highway...and start to saunter over to a big lake very picturesque. Ok...we keep walking towards the lake.....then into the lake ha ha...hahh hahah ha stop eley stop.....ya no...eleys going for a bath....so they go right in with us on top....and sit down and start to lay on there sides etc etc...we are the scrub brush...on top scrubbing away furiously....gotta have a clean eley.....and on command they dunk there whole head under water...uhhhmmmm did I mention this is where we are sitting...so we are taking a bath too.....unfortunately this is about where the eleys like to relieve themselves also...the locals call the water "Elephant wine"....you get it....ha hahahahahhaahahahahhahah not......the fish like it though....ohhh funny thing....any idea about how long an eley can fart.....seems like minutes....very wet burppy throaty sounding ones.....mmmmmmmmmm sniff sniff....the eyes water..gag for a bit...my mahout laughs his ass off pointing at me....they love this....must be the bananas....this is about where I coined tghe phrase...'OHHHH MY BUDDAAHHHH!!!!!!"  Bob actually laughed his ass off at my expense....glad I can entertain. Did I mention anywhere that we paid for this privilige....now Shauna's eley "Princess" (cause she belongs to the King's sister...very big deal....Shauna don't break the eley). Anyways princess si one of the smartest eleys in refuge...she is also one of the best water fountains I've ever seen.....you seee where I am going here....yup....I think she sprayed everybody at one point and then Shaun learned how to pont the trunk....funny stuff....hahahahhahahah....elephant wine...mmmmm

Jill's eley was a clown also....at one point I think we lost sight of Jill for a while cause the eley took her for a dunk.....was pretty funny cause it wasn't me....put she popped to the surface after a bit sputtering.....and I think her eley was grinning....

So now out of the water we walk...drenching wet....sun is out....did I mention that we are in thailand....oh my buddah it gets hot ya no sun screen nothing not even a hat...pant pant.....ohhh and about now we really start walking into the wet damp elephant grass where the flies seem to live to feed them the eleys and the flies....so the idea now is let the eleys graze on whatever they feel like eating we do this for a while and then we walk into the jungle farther and our mahouts kinda go into gear and we separate....we head down a big ravine and up a hill.....can't even see anybody else. I forgot to tell you that before we left we loaded a big chain up on the eley's neck it hung there the whole time and that is what we actually sat on...

So I on command I bark out a Sup Soong...and Eley holds her leg up for me to get off...I pop off with the grace of Jerry Lewis....and manage to land on my feet...All this time I am doing my best scouting action I can to make sure I don't land on some kinda King Cobra...scorpion...well anything with a stinger or teeth for that matter.....Its all clear I think..but never really know...cause the jungle has lotsa strange sounds in it.....so Bob goes into gear and its really cool cause eley actualy helps Bob unload the gear and then my eley drags the chain out to full length....near a tree. So Bob ties it around the tree and then around one leg of Eley...now he hobbles the other front leg together so she can only shuffle...I think that is odd...we'll get back to that, now the reason they are chained is for there safety as if they are not hunters could shoot them so I have no problem with the chains now...then Bob points at me an gives me the universal lets go.....so we start walking out of the jungle and I noticed I was walking a bit funny...we'll get top that later...I look back and my eley looked pretty cool hiding behind a tree....We meet up eith everybody else...then we head back to the Chang Thai resort. They got scooters and we rode on the back...was fun....they dump us off and tell us they will be back at 2:00....no prob

OUr villas are in the jungle...up on a hill....amazing view...ours has an outdoor kitchen and the staff cooks our meals for us and Chad and Jill right there and the idea is that we will have all our meals there on the deck...no prob actually really tranquil. The villa is a traditional Thai thing...but with air conditioning....ohhh baby....nice....pretty baron...couple of beds and a bathroom but quaint. The beds...not kidding her are like a piece of plywood with a blanket on top...about as firm as you can get. So we strip outta the mahout clothes which are drenched...hang em up. Din din was ready some kinda Thai stir fry thing...very good. Time to chill and chat with Chad and Jill for a bit. So we laugh at each others expense...nice...

2:00 came quick time to get our eley's....so we put on our wet outfits again...jump on the scooters....okay not jump...as I am noticing I am a bit stiff now...no big deal though....now it starts to rain a bit....okay a good bit....but its okay cause it is really warm out and all that.....so no big deal...we get to where the trail to the eleys begins and start walking in to get them...this is where we learned that the first thing that an eley does once you hop off is to toss loose dirt on there backs.....big piles of it....keeps the flies off...smart eleys....ya so now it is raining....hmmmm...see wheere this is going....we unchain our eley....the eley actually drags the chain out and folds it into lengths and we leave it. She lays down and we try to beat as much of the caked on mud off that we can....she stands up....and I am now supposed to get on this muddy mess...somehow...so Sung Soong I go...and I slip up into a nice warm mudpie...ahhhhh we all wander out of our eley parking spots meet up and graze some more and head to the lake again for guess what.....a bath...yayyyyyyyy. Ohhh there really are a lot of flies in the jungle...but least we got hats on now and bug juice...and sun stuff.....and now can beat the air like champs...so into the lake we go....and scrubb like mad....really softens your skin....try scrubbing elephant skin for a while....got all the mud off including what was in there ears and off we went....was fun....in a very weird way. Back to the jungle...to park them for the night. So we all find seperate spots and do the chain thing again and no quicker than we hop off then she grabs big piles of dirt and piles it on...hmmm I see another bath in the future....ohh is that a rain cloud....back to the scooters...man I can not seem to walk to good....neither can Shauna....hmmm...So Bob tells me to get on teh back of the scooter....hmmmm legs not seeming to want to work...then I kind hop on...then my first real...OHHHH MYYY BUDDAHHHH!!!!! came out from the actual pain that was now in my ass.....and legs...Shauna was in the same boat....holy freakin crap...could barely move the legs.....back to the villa we go....could barely get off the scooter...then the steps up arggggg....supper is for 6:30....

Time to get out of cloths and chill.....we wander down to the bar....for some Singha...in the big bottles...mmmmmmmmmm after a hard day of mahouting.....then we walked into the elephant refuge....visited with one of the babies....very cute.

We found an internet cafe sort of...and a young canadian couple traveling the world with backpacks and an around the world plane ticket. They were having fun.

Back to the villa...its about a 2km walk...very stiff but we make it. Supper is served....again very good traditional Thai cooked in front of us. We had bought some cokes and somewhere a bottle of the Captain....so I was slurring after a bit....took the pain away....was awesome day and night...Shauna was having a blast. So finally Shauna made me go to bed...and I passed out....bed was fine definitely the booze talkin here cause how can sleeping on a piece of plywood be fine...now a 6:00 am wake up to go get our Eley's....

Ohhh you can check out www.changthai.com the picture gallery for the May 13-15 course.....