Out of Office!

It probably wasn’t my brightest idea going out for an impromptu brunch last night and getting highly intoxicated on vodka cranberry before my flight this afternoon. Resulting in me turning into Michael Jackson - who the hell attempts to moon walk in the middle of a restaurant… and how many times does security have to tell me to sit and not dance (because covid will catch you).

Also who takes a spoon and a tea towel to bed with a bottle of Diet Pepsi? What the hell happened there! I definitely wasn’t of sound mind but I suppose that’s what makes a good night, the last minute plans!

A lot of strong painkillers, water and two cold-ish showers and I felt almost normal to tackle the metro to the airport.

Dora and her yellow back pack were on their way! Get me out of this hot and humid sand pit. Ychafi!

Emirates terminal was a ghost town. I got from the metro, bag dropped, security checked and found my way to a pub… (sorry I think I mean coffee shop….) Within 20 minutes.

The ‘coffee shop’ was quiet too, I thought one or two ‘coffees’ would straighten me out a little, I mean it made me tired if anything, clearly the caffeine wasn’t working and the drink was more of a depressant, haha.

Well it was time to board and it took forever, why do these family of 15 insist on not being organised with documents? Surely they’ve flown before so you’d think they know what’s needed by now - or is that just my methodical way of thinking?

Get out of my seat. I booked a window seat, not you. They were adamant I was lying they even got their bag out of the over head to check their ticket. Ahaaa, I’m the window licker on this aisle thank you very much.

Flight was good, cracking view of Dubsland one last time for a short while. The view below was pretty boring it was baron and hazy but lovely view of sunset. Is it acceptable to watch a Christmas movie in July, I feels it’s less than 6 months to festive season so, yes?

I’m not sure if I’m the only one that gets this full feeling after drinking the night before as if your stomach is about to explode it feels so full. Well now I’m 40,000ft in the air and I have this feeling and all I want to do is let it out, only it’s not coming through the north exit but the south. It was too risky, I couldn’t be heard deflating in a tin can with recycled air. It’s bad enough when it does come out of the north exit and although now I suppose the masks help slightly but there’s still room for the slight sniff.

The flight was packed to the brim, every seat full. It’s great when they say to you at the end of the flight “please stay socially distant in the aisles and leaving the plane” haha! What difference does that make now, we’ve been sat on each other’s laps for the last 5 hours. But the time we are at risk is when we are walking off the plane and in the airport… silly sods.

Funny that they use the scare factor of you need all these different documents to get into the countries at the moment and none of mine had been checked the entire trip, nonsense. They don’t know if I’m pcr tested or vaccinated against this new strain of flu.

Couldn’t connect to WiFi in the airport so couldn’t get hold of the hotel pick up - I was only in the wrong bloody place after asking one of the airport workers to use their phone to call them. Whoooops!

Couldn’t wait to get into the hotel room and deflate this stomach - it’s going to be a windy night! That darned altitude pressure….

Anyways the hotel was only down the road five minutes away, swanky new complex and an upgrade to the junior suite if I gave them a good review on booking - you are most certainly welcome! It was bloody great, shame I wasn’t there longer really. Shower and bed!