Time to travel. Overslept this morning but got to the embassy for the last time at 11am to pick up my passport. Waited an hour and a half for the ignorant b**** to make my passport which was supposed to be ready for me. Only to find she had made a mistake which she tries to blame on me. I had to shout for 15 minutes and then wait another hour to get what I asked for. Also outside the embassy someone I was talking to tried to steal the credit off my phone - it's f...

Passport was finally sorted on Tuesday and I will pick it up on Sunday. Muhammed and mr hassan were sacked yesterday and have been replaced by an evil idiot with gay hair. He thinks he's so smart he can stop us from going on the roof by hiding the doorhandle. And control who uses the computer (that me and mickey fixed free of charge) by putting a password on it but he can't read English so he typed the password into the 'password hint' bit aswell... He even tries...

Was sharing the room with a 56 year old Peruvian man who is literally going insane (as you can see he likes to sleep on the floor). He wakes me up at 5am every morning to pray for 1-3 hours in Hebrew. He thinks he has the right to answer the phone in reception and try to communicate to the caller who doesn't speak english. He steals spoons towels food and metro tickets. Then complains about people: opening the door to our room when he prays, smoking and going to ...

Met a crazy man (right in pic) When I was trying to learn Arabic with Fathi (left). He claims he is a ninja turtle christian who stops all the Muslims from attacking Christians and burning churches etc. (he isn't doing very well). We think the ninja is actually a homeless madman, and he smells very bad.

Woke up at 6 am to mercury feeding me painkillers, then straight back to sleep. Breakfast at midday is a challenge to eat with swollen jaw muscles, its impossible to close my mouth. After leaving the Internet cafe at 7:30 last night I went for a walk to explore an unfamiliar area. Making my way home I'm waiting to cross a road when two young guys start being friendly and talking to me. They offer me a lift on the back of their bike and stupidly I accept. Thei...