Lesley has a restless night with what little is left of it. She completes her online application for the visa. '75 percent of tourist visa applications are granted within a working day' reads the application form. Three hours later, the i-phone bings. An e-mail pops up - visa granted. Roy does his after a bit more time on the pillow. Bing! Number two granted. Look out Australia, here come the Smarts! Pam e-mails to ask when we're arriving, she's booked tickets at the Sydney Opera House for us..........sorry Pam! Will a nice meal out do in recompense?

What do you do when you have to spend an extra day in Dubai? Eat heartily, sit in the sun, swim in the cool rooftop pool and see your daughter again! So we take it easy and relax....we are getting good at this but let's bury the complacency and get a bit sharper.

Boarders in burkas? You only see this in Dubai. Why stop at the Burj Kalifa (the world's tallest structure 828m or 2,715 ft) and plushest hotels, the must have is Ski Dubai, and it is huge......and cold. Cold enough in fact for hats, gloves and quilted body jackets. An army of enthusiastic winter sports fans, locals and visitors alike, don ill fitting blue and red one piece ski suits and happily partake of all things cold. If you are ever here, we recommend The Cheesecake Factory, with an extensive menu and slopeside views.....in the warmth of course.

Sydney departure gate at DXB is overflowing with babbling Aussie voices, mostly white skinned travellers. It seems that in a few steps we've travelled from Arabia to an Australian overseas territory. The sideburned man who reminds me of Les Dawson has a paunch and bare feet comments

"Bloody warm wasn't it?", then, looking around, "gee, look at that b*****, he's got four seats.