DH (where the 'D' stands for Don't Put Us In Danger) was already a bit antsy about this leg of our journey so the Zebra Campervan Rental folks weren't helping me persuade DH that a magical adventure lay ahead by giving us the saddest looking 4 wheeled campervan (hereafter known as the Wounded Zebra) one might ever see. We had such a good time touring New Zealand and Australia in a campervan that when the opportunity to do the same thing in South Africa presented itself, I jumped at it. DH, on the other hand, having been fed a steady diet of horror stories about South Africa, immediately started researching the soaring crime stats and discovered, much to her dismay, that car jacking is one of the few growth industries in SA. She was not reassured by my contention that no self respecting car jacker is going to risk a police chase in a campervan (and quite frankly, even most homeless people would probably choose their sturdy cardboard box over our Wounded Zebra). 

How about these for a series of headlines: SAfrican Woman Survives After Thrown From Bridge By Carjackers, Body Count Grows In South African Murder Mystery, Rape Suspect Cries Assault After Victim Bites His Lip Off, Man Arrested With Nephew's Genitals In Wallet, and, of course, Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial Will Have Its Own 24-Hour TV Channel (which it did). South Africa's high walls, electric fences and lurid headlines are all part of the country's struggle/obsession with violent crime. The recent release of national crime statistics showed that the number of attempted murders rose by 6.5%, violent house robberies by 3.6% and carjackings by 5.4%. Drug-related crime rose by 13.5% and truck hijackings by nearly 15% (the good news (??) is that the rise in the murder rate was only slight, at 0.6%). 

Perhaps the motto of the Rental Agency should have been "For Safety, Drive Our Junk Heaps. No One Will Want To Steal Them". At over 250,000 rental kms our campervan was probably well past the end of its life in most jurisdictions and the repair work was almost comical (funnier if we weren't relying on this battered and bruised vehicle for the next month); homemade fiberglass bandages, caulking and reflective tape used to hold parts in place, a do-it-yourself bumper replacement, and so on. And the inside offered up a whole new set of problems. This jalopy was not exactly inspiring any great confidence and DH was having trouble seeing the humour in the whole situation. 

Just to add to our trepidation, the company itself seemed to be going out of business. Since we had arrived late, we spent our first night in their parking lot, which was deserted except for our camper and a number of 'For Sale' signs (they claimed the rest of their fleet was out on rental and that they just hadn't taken down the signs since they moved in about a year ago. The guy who claimed to be the owner had given us such a good deal on the price because we were going to drop the vehicle in Namibia that we started wondering if we were the mules sneaking a stolen vehicle across borders (were there drugs under all those patches??). 

We picked up our portable home in Johannesburg but since, according to the locals, the best thing to do in Joburg was to leave Joburg, we headed south for our first stop in the Golden Gate National Park. It's known for some pretty nice vistas including some views of the Drakenburg Mountains but much of the area was draped in smoke from a nearby "controlled burn" (can you call it a controlled burn if it looks like you're driving through a raging inferno that extends out as far as you can see?). When we first saw the billowing smoke we naturally assumed it was coming from the Wounded Zebra- this could be a very long trip.