So it was finally time for some full on beach action, and Koh Samui was the destination of choice. We bussed it there, as the flight cost a fortune, and the bus and ferry were less than fourteen pound - not bad for a fifteen hour journey. The journey, which would have been a fifty minute flight, seemed to take far longer than intended, and from the offset it became clear that we weren't paying for convenience or ease of travel.
The bus was meant to arrive at six. We were led, by a super camp man, through a couple of alleyways, a gym. where a thai boxing session was taking place, and down a few more streets, until he dumped us on the side of a road and told us to wait. And wait we did. The bags soon came off and quickly became seats, as dusk crept in. By seven o clock, I was beginning to think we might have been scammed, particularly as we had just been left by a roadside, conveniently just far enough away from the tourist information centre where we had booked our tickets. Dozens of coaches swept passed us teasingly, and then finally, after another arduous wait, one stopped. Ours thankfully.

For the price, I had no complaints: fully reclining seats, air conditioning, blankets and even an on-board film to watch. Not too shabby. The slight downside was that the lights were switched off immediately, and I was by no means ready to sleep at eight pm. Nevertheless, I did sleep pretty well, and at times I was actually too cold, and surprisingly the long jaunt down the coast and down the country went really quickly.

At some unknown time, we were harshly awoken by the staff who were continuously yelling, "get off the bus; you must get off the bus now", which they repeated until every passenger had sleepily got off. You would think a bomb was about to go off they way they were reacting as they hurried us along. As it turns out, there was no hurry, rush, speed, no anything, about the next leg of the journey. Every now and then trailer type tuk tuk's would pull up and take a few people to various destinations, yet it appeared ours was one of the latter with no hurry to reach us, and we waited for around an hour until a tuk tuk headed for Koh Samui casually rolled up.

Thinking we were now headed for the pier, we ended up at a small shack, with a big bus outside of it where touts attempted to flog us hotel rooms. Once onboard we chugged along for another little while, until eventually the sea was insight. Aboard the boat we secured the perfect spot on the front deck, which was a prime location for soaking up the rays, whilst everybody else was crammed inside. We didn't set off immediately - hardly surprising - as we waited for another bus load to accompany us.

Feeling the wind and the breeze hit us, as we hit full speed over the waves was amazing. There's something great about being a boat, especially when the sun is blazing and the waters are turquoise and clear. This hour and a half long boat ride made the previous twenty hours worth it - well in a roundabout sense.

Hello Koh Samui. Straight in a taxi we were on our way to Chaeweng - the island's most popular and commercial beach resort. The taxi driver asked us how much we were prepared to pay for a room, and he immediately drove us somewhere tot hat standard. We checked out the rooms, which, although pretty basic - just a mattress on the floor - would do, as we were right by the beach. Martin was pleased to note that there was a McDonald's Burger King and a Pizza Hut all within the immediate proximity. Elsewhere were countless bars, restaurants and the usual silk shops amongst pirated dvd stalls. Same same; but different as the locals say.

We checked out the beach, which for my high standards, was pretty nice, in parts at least anyway. Apart from the hoards of sellers on the beach, the white sand, and palm fringe was pretty idyllic.

The following morning, we strolled right up the beach as far as the eye could see, and found the perfect spot, away from the crowds and sellers. It was like our own little private part of beach. This end of the beach was clearly home to the more expensive hotels and honeymooning couples - and here we were invading it. The sea was just devine, clear water lapped slowly and carefully up onto the shoreline, and so shallow you were able to walk out so far without the water going past your knees. The warmth of it was incredible, and in the distance, the clear water turned to emerald and dispersed into deep blue. We spent the majority of the day soaking in the water, and enjoying the sun beaming down on us in the perfect blue sky above. It was perfection. Once back at the hotel however, Martin and Lucy discovered they had burnt - quite badly. Perhaps not so much sun for them the next day. The sun had obviously been to much for us all to bear, as we had an incredibly early night, and slept right through, with Lucy falling asleep at five!

The next morning, was spent similarly to the last - with the exception of Lucy and Martin basking in the shade, barely tempting to step out of it. That evening we enjoyed a meal by the sea on deckchairs laden with cushions and towels to relax upon. The meal was a disappointment, but the setting was lovely. It was only destroyed, by the dozens upon dozens of sellers, ranging from kids, to men with monkeys, snakes lizards or eagles, and women carrying flashing goods such as laser pens and glowing alarm clocks. Every single one, Martin looked on at in amazement, and he is most definitely a sellers dream - they flocked over him.

It was really quite bizarre what came over him - a weird and strong desire to want everything- all of which was mostly useless and naff, and also to want to touch everything. Admittedly the moneys were extremely cute, but after they had laden the tenth one on his shoulders or in his arms enough was quite enough. We were after all, trying to enjoy our disappointing meal. After dinner, again 'enjoying' our very strong cocktails, Lucy noticed someone she used to work with - how small the world really is.

The following day, we packed our bags once more, and moved away from the built up, and the hoards of tourists, and onto the slightly less built up, and slightly fewer tourist area of Lamai beach - often referred to as Samui's second beach in terms of popularity. OK, there was a McDonald's. but other than that, the atmosphere was much more chilled out and laid back. As soon as we arrived, we went in search of a man named Alan, who is originally form Carlisle and owns a bar called The Red Fox bar. I had already been in contact with him, and told him we would check out his bar - supporting his business and all that. It was a bit tricky to find, off down a side street, with only a small sign, aonly fit for people with good eye's like Lucy's to spot.

Venturing down the road, rucksacks in tow, and Martin struggling on with his enormous bag, we got there. It looked closed, but sure enough, there was a man perched on a bar stool inside. Calling out "Alan", I was relieved when the man in question turned around and responded. After polite introductions, and a coke to cool us down, he offered to show us a place to stay for a good price. Without a word, he jetted off on his motorbike, and returned minutes later, to say there were rooms available and would we like to check it out. I agreed to go and make the informative decision, and jumped on the back of his bike for a nosey at the rooms. Upon arrival, already, the hotel was of a much higher standard than our previous dwelling. The pool was nice, and swimmable, not murky and pond green like the previous one had been. The rooms, airy and spacious, with a nice bathroom, balcony, fridge and a coffee maker. For the same price as our previous digs, it seemed silly not to go for it. When we returned on the back, I told Martin and Lucy that I was more than happy to stay there, and they immediately agreed, and even more so when we reached the hotel and they saw the rooms.

The remainder of the day was spent in a chilled out fashion lazing by the pool and reading. We later took a stroll up the road that evening, where a strip of girly bars dominates the area. There were dozens of bars, and it was quite a bizarre evening to say the least. It was at times extremely difficult to determine the true sex of each bartender/dancer/whatever. Our night took another turn for the odd, whilst at another bar, a man/woman propositioned us to play connect four and jenga with her. I guesstimate that we played these games for a good few hours, and it was a strange evening to say the least, but strangely very enjoyable, and something I doubt I'll forget anytime soon.

The following day, it seemed just as I was returning to semi/full health, Martin's took a turn for the worse, and he seemed to have got what I'd had for the past five weeks. Not good. He therefore spent most of the day in the hotel, unable to leave, and Lucy and I explored the beach, and the town around us. Although to date, we had been pretty lucky with the weather, this day was overcast, ut still incredibly humid. There is still no escaping the heat. That evening we had promised Alan we would go along to his quiz night. We arrived super early as we had forgot to ask the start time, but hey ho, it could have been worse. Slowly, the tables began to fill up, until capacity had been reached. Looking around, it was clear that we were the youngest team by a long way, and it seemed that the majority, if not all. of the other teams were regulars that also inhabit the island. Oh well, it was again, going to make for a different night that's for sure. Out of the three rounds, and thirty-six questions, we managed a measly ten points, and the quiz master had even given us some of them. I think he felt sorry for us! Oh well, it was all done in good humour, and Alan has put on a spag bol for tea afterwards, which was even better. Any free meal is much appreciated these days.

The following day was to be our last full day on the island, and therefore Martin insisted on hiring a motorbike. Lucy wasn't so sure on this one, so spent the day relaxing by the pool and basking in the day's sun. I of course didn't want my own, but was more than happy to go on the back of Martin's bike. At first, his movements were a little jerky and unsteady, and a few harsh words were said. It was afterall, his fitrst time riding a bike, and he was speeding off as though he were an expert. Stopping momentarily to consult the map, we decided to veer off the main road and away from the continuous traffic, and up towards some waterfalls. Asd soon as we had made our way away from the flowing traffic, Martin came into his own, and his confidence soared. I too felt much safer and trusted his judgments. The scenery was fantastic as we sped past swaying palm trees and made our way up into the mountians. The feeling of freedom was sublime. The roads were windy and steep, and gave way to some magical views across the island. The whole place si so lucious and green, and the sea in the distance looked calm and inviting, with small granite islands innocently obstructing the waters. We made a pit stop about half way up the steep climb, where a signpost for waterfalls was indicated. We parked up, and began to walk down, grabbing onto a rope for guidance. We barely made it twenty metres; we had already slipped countless times, and there was a sheer drop to our left. We instinctively turned back, and boarded the bike -this was a much better thrill anyway. We continued the steep ascent, our bike struggling at times, but alwasy making it, as the road twisted and turned arouns sharp corners. We were heading for a viewpoint. Suddenly, the road wasn't a road anymore, but a dirt track. for a moment or so we were motionless, unsure weather to go on or not. The guidebooks had warned of the mountainous roads. But we made the decision to go on for a short while. It paid off, as a sharp left soon emerged, which would lead us to the viewpoint. Parked up, we walkedahead to see in front of us a small shack like building made out of wood. It looked as though it were floating on the mountianside, and was an amazing site. The view at first sight was indescribable. Just beautiful and mesmerising. We sat with a drink and a bite to eat as we enjoyed the magnificent views below us. We were surrounded by forest, not another soul in sight, bar the staff. Thye only sounds were tat of the forest. In the distance, the sea glittered under the sun. Perfection is often a hard thing to find. Momentarily we had it.

As we drove away from the perfect view, we decided to head north, as Martin was desperate to play football golf - a concept exactly as it sounds - kicking footballs into holes, and following the course round for a full eighteen holes. We drove through pretty villages, more built up towns and past more beautiful coastline before we were in the vicinity, and en route, stopping at some monuments to take a few snaps, notably Fisherman's Village and Big Buddha - a huge golden Buddha sat atop a hill on the edge of the coast. We eventually navigated it to the site of the football golf, and commenced our game. It was much trickier than it looked, and not so good in flip flops, but hey it wss, but I doubt I would rush back to it again. Game over, and Martin had won.

We took the more scenic route back home, along the coastline, and enjoying tthe breeze sweeping past us. There really is something exhilerating about a bike, and once again, I'll miss that feeling. I would be temted to hire one myself, but after my measly attempt on it, which consisted of several jolty starts, I think for the time being I will give it a miss.