Last Sunday we arrived in Cancun after 24 hours of constant traveling. Upon arriving I checked my emails and received the most distressing news Ive ever had, my cousin and dear friend, Alison, had died. She had killed herself over a week ago. Am obviously totally devastated. She will be deeply, deeply missed. I will never forget her, and in some way she will be with me throughout this whole journey. Didnt manage to speak to any of my family all day and was in a total state. The next day I spent the whole day emailing and phoning family and trying to see if I should come back home. After many upsetting conversations, I decided it wouldnt really help matters or bring her back if I did, I also wasnt sure if it was even possible to make it in time for the funeral, so I chose to try and carry on and find some way to greive out here. Its been a very hard and lonely past few days. We decided to go to a small, quiet island nearby (Isla Holbox) so I could try and find some time to think and find peace. Its a nice, small, beachy island. Thursday was the day of the funeral in London. At the same time as the service I went alone to a church here and lit a candle for her, had a good long cry (havent really stopped) and spent the rest of the day thinking of, and writing down, the good times we shared. Which there were many. Apparently the funeral went really well and was so full there wasnt room for everyone. Which was nice to hear. In the evening I went to the beach, lit another candle and wrote a message to her in the sand, I watched the waves wash it away while there was a beautiful sun set and was glad the day was over and she was at peace. The next day I did nothing except mope around in bed and go downstairs to check my emails, which have really been helping. Yesterday I finally made it out in the day, to the beach down the road. It was lovely; beautiful and peaceful. White sand and lots of shells. In the evening we decided we would try and go out to the bar next door. Started off by having quite a few drinks with our 18yr old(!) neighbours; silly Mexican boys, on our communal balcony. Had a little boogie to our ipods on the balcony. Until I, embarrassingly, started crying again, so that was the end of that night out. Cried myself to sleep and woke up in all my clothes. Decided it was definately time to move on today. Had a long bus journey to Merida, mainly because we took the smelly and much slower 2nd class bus for some stupid reason. Now we are staying in a lovely haven of a hostel, just what I needed. Really huge, but very quiet, with seperate areas for girls & boys (no sharing with smelly boys!), big courtyard, garden, and even free salsa lessons (which we havent braved yet). Starting to feel quite a bit better. Remebering more and more good times I had with Ali, and thinking of her a lot.