Never shake on a deal with a one handed Chinaman.

After two consecutive overnight bus journeys across the length of Thailand i discovered that a breakdown in the mysterious ticket/stickering system which governs transport and tourism here meant that my trek into the jungle had been cancelled. I won't hold my breath waiting for a refund.

Cursing the digitally challenged tour operator, i fumed around Chiang Mai with my camera and attempted to calm myself in a succession of Buddhist temples (wats). Growing up in a largely Christian country it's easy to see the church and organised religion as a gloomy, oppressive and regimented bore. That's how i choose to view it, anyway. Here in Chiang Mai, however, quite the opposite is true. A small, walled city, it contains over 300 wats dedicated to the worship of Buddha in all his forms. Some have been here so long that nobody knows when they were originally constructed. Others are being erected as i write. Some are simple stone structures. Some are fashioned from wood. Others are intricate and ornate, covered in fragments of coloured glass and guarded by ferocious stone dragons.

What they all have in common is a vibrancy you'd rarely see in a western place of worship. Golden statues of religious figures abound, with offerings ranging from incense to flowers to bottles of water arranged at their feet. Vividly painted wooden animals patrol the gardens. Garlands of ribbons are tied around ancient trees. Monks hang their freshly washed robes to dry on the branches. Piles of shoes are pooled at the door as people enter to pray and press gold leaf onto stone statues. Whatever your religious beliefs, it's hard not to admire a religion which is treated with reverence and respect, yet still manages to be joyous and colourful.

Becalmed, i visited a travel agent with a full compliment of fingers and bagged myself a trip into the mountains. Here, i glided serenely down the river on a raft simply constructed from nineteen bamboo poles with six other silent tourists. Maybe nobody wanted to spoil the calm atmosphere by talking. Or maybe everyone was trying to stifle a laugh at the absurd hats we were forced to wear.

I'm not quite sure how i feel about what followed. Elephants are such dignified creatures that it's difficult to picture them performing for an audience. But they did exactly that, and even a curmudgeonly sceptic like me couldn't fail to be impressed my the world's biggest land mammal smashing free kicks, backheels and Le Tissier style volleys into the top corner of a football net. Even greater applause was garnered by Sudo, a female elephant who painted an accurate self portrait and signed it, too.

A chance to get even closer to the magnificent animals followed as i clambered aboard an elephant for a jerky, bouncy ride through the river and into the hills. There was nothing comfortable about the experience but it was pretty amazing nonetheless. I presume that the animals are well cared for - they certainly seemed happy in their work - none more so than the protective mother who snaked her long nose between my legs for a crafty feel of my trunk.

Further animal encounters included a handling a Burmese python, a boa constrictor draped across my shoulder and an ox-cart ride through beautiful paddy fields.

The next day i joined folks from the Phillipines, Germany, Canada and Australia on a fantastic day of cooking, laughter and eating. The wonderful staff at Baan Thai cookery school took us to the local market, gave us the lowdown on Thai ingredients and then let us loose in their kitchen with lethally sharp cleavers and lethally hot chillis. Papayas were prepared, pastes pounded and coconuts milked, leaving everyone with full tummies, tingling lips and beaming smiles.