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It took twelve hours by bus from Sydney to Melbourne. On the way there the bus driver had to beep a few times as there were kangaroos in the middle of the road. We booked to stay in a hostel in the city. We were really tired so we just had a sun bathe on the roof for most of the day. A scouse lad later on that night asked me and Ali if we wanted to go to a gay bar for a gay lad at the hostels birthday. We said yes and about thirty of us went. I was expecting it to be like a gay bar at home, as in a mix between straight and gay. As we went in, we were literally the only straight people in there. It was like the YMCA video and im not joking. A lad went to high five me. As I high fived him he tried to keep hold of my hand!! I was f***ing fuming.
We left the next day by tram to go to a hostel in St Kilda that a friend had told me about called coffee palace backpackers. It was massive but quite scatty. The dorm room we were staying in stunk of piss. Later on I found out that a few nights earlier a lad in the room pissed on everybodys bags and the next night pissed on a sweedish girl haha. I was talking to a girl who was in my room and you could tell she was into her drugs, and was rough as f***. This one day she started drinking goon about 10am and later on, come into the room and crashed on her bed in her clothes. After I had something to eat I went back to the room and looked at her jeans and they looked dark in the middle. As I got closer I realised she pissed herself the smack rat, so we changed rooms.
The main thing Ali wanted to do in Australia was the neighbours tour. So he forced me to go and see Ramsay street and stuff haha. It was really wierd as it was so small. Normal people actually live there and get compensated for when there is filming in the street. They also have 24 hour security as some nutters actually believe that the stars live in them houses.
We also done the neighbours night out as Ali had forced me again haha. Everbody got given a little form to write down a question for the stars and if it was good enough it would be read out. I wrote down for Karl Kennedy "Alright mate. Hows it going? have you got facebook and can you sing me a song? tell Susan I said hi" Karl Kennedy was on stage and he said were is Russell Burton and I had to stand up. He then said sorry I have not got facebook but are you a red or a blue. I told him that I was a red, and he sang youll never walk alone to me!! What a f***ing legend. As he was walking around getting his picture took with people I rang our phil and got him to speak to him. Think Phil was buzzing like.

People back home will tell you its really easy to get a job in Australia. It is probably the opposite. To get a decent job is really hard especially with the credit crunch. So I had just been lazing around the hostel.
Ali left after fourteen weeks, which was a shame as we were having a good laugh in Auz. So I was now on my own. I joked to a couple of people in the hostel that we should have a all day goon session. A few of them said they were into it so from 12.15pm we all bought a box of goon each. We were all really pissed and ended up making a song up. "tragedy..when the goon is gone and you cant go on its a tragedy" thats how pissed were to start banging out steps songs how f***ed up is that haha.
Apparently the room I was staying in was a big party room and most of the people in there were mad. I was to find out. I got woke up to a lad in my room trying to handcuff me to the bunk bed with pink furry handcuffs. I then woke up to a lad being sick in his own bed and then falling back asleep. I then woke up to the lad who was sick going for a piss and then he went to sleep in another girls bed. As she came in she was like get the f*** out of my bed. He did not no where he was. Then a sweedish girl came in and fell over. Im pretty sure she was crying but could not tell as it was pitch black!! Was not bothered anyway as she was a mess. Such a random night.
The next day I was walking down the road and a lad stopped me and said did you used to go Willaston boxing club. I said yes, then i realised who he was and spoke to him for a little bit. So random in the middle of melbourne.
The hostels in Auz are good for doing things and there is always something on. On wednesdays it is $6 pizza night for a big dominos pizza.Fifty people got a pizza on one wednesday. You should of seen them stacked up. Ive never seen so many pizzas in my life.
On the roof of our hostel there is a big table were people play cards and drink. I was talking to a lad up there who said he done a medical trial a few weeks earlier testing cholestoral for two weeks and got $4000 dollars. Loads of people do it and everybody I spoke to said its easy. I booked in to the hospital to see what it was about.
There was a medical trial for two nights and it was reasearch into a sadative anesthetic and you get $1000. The doctor told me I could go into intesive care and that is the worst case scenario. I applied for it and got a phone call two days later saying it had been put on hold as it could be dangerous and they need to test more monkeys just to be safe. I probably would of died (only joking) I applied for another one which I no people have done and they said its fine. It was for seven days and i will get $2000. He confirmed that I was fit and healthy enough to do it and then he showed me around the ward. On one side is all of the hospital beds and equipment. In a few other rooms it had free internet, playstations, xbox's, big tv's, table tennis, pool tables and hundreds of dvds. So its pretty good, and all food and drink is free.
Me and the three lads I was sort of travelling with AJ, Sammy, and Steve were talking about doing the great ocean road. One of there friends who lives in the city and his room mate also wanted to do it so we rented a six seater car. The weather was s*** but we had such a good laugh and got pissed off goon most of the time. After sight seeing and stuff we checked into a hostel which was owned by a man called Robbo. He did not seem all there. I was reading a backpackers comment book and somebody had wrote "Robbo,I dont care if you have the canadian flag outside you are a complete c*** Your not going to change so my best suggestion is that you just die" haha bit harsh but he was a wierdo. He looked like a scarecrow. Some of the scenary on the great ocean road was amazing. The twelve apostels were the best and I also saw the lighthouse which used to be in a programme called round the twist ha.
When we got back to coffee palace I spoke to the lad who was sleeping in the bed underneath me. He said the lad who took my bed whilst I was away pissed himself and it dripped down and got him haha he was proper pissed off. Everybody seemed to piss themselves in that hostel.
Me, AJ, and steve went to look around a part of Melbourne which was supposed to be pretty cool. We got there and there was spray paint on lots of buildings, and all the buildings were wierd. As we were walking a man came up to us and said he is doing a project and can he take pictures of the bottom of our feet. We could not stop laughing at him. We let him take pictures for a laugh, it was so f***ing funny.
As my medical trial was four weeks away I decided to go fruit picking with a few people from coffee palace.