We had decided to go boating on Lake Mead for a few hours so we went to pick up Marty Carrie from his new hotel, The Hotel at Mandalay Bay Resort, having been thrown out of the Venetian for causing a drunken disturbance on arriving back from our Surf Nazi evening.

With CSI Essex star Aden driving I was in charge of the sounds and reached for the obvious soundtrack for such a journey; Motörhead and 'Ace of Spades'. We soon arrived at the Lake Mead lake resort and proceeded to hire a boat for a few hours after having fed the local catfish some french fries which apparently is their natural diet.

Thoughtfully as we didn't have any wives with us, we had not bothered to bring any head wear or sun tan lotion and with temperatures reaching 118 degrees, a 200 year record for the region, we were confident that our white complexions would be able to withstand the rays.

With Brick, Ayden Brick, taking the helm we pootled off towards the Hoover Dam where a security boom identified how close we could go before being sucked into the massive turbines. Willing to take the risk that we could easily outswim such a massive force we all jumped in and proceeded to float around our boat in a rather random fashion.

Whilst we were in the water there must have been some other wildlife nearby as the occupants of several other similar size boats plus a tourist paddle steamer seemed to be excited enough to be pointing, taking photos and laughing. I believe I heard one family mention sea lions. We decided to get back onboard our craft, a task that is a lot harder than it looks by the way, in an attempt to catch glimpse of the supposed wildlife, but by then we were too late.

We headed off around the lake, each taking it in turns to drive and eventually disembarked, slightly redder than we had left. On settling the fuel bill I enquired how many Sealions were homed in the lake area only to be told that there were none. Curious, I thought.

We quenched our thirst on some ice cold beer in the harbour cafe, being served by the worlds oldest female waitress, 97 year old Peggy Sue Klunch. Ade took a sneaky picture as he thought she was younger and stated that he hoped his wife, Mandy Brick, would look as good as that at the age of 95 let alone 97. I had to agree with him although Mart was amazed at how fit she looked.

On to the Hoover Dam complex where we felt compelled to walk across the newly opened hi-rise bridge, some 1,000 feet above the dam and completely exposed to gusts of wind, where I held on for dear life as I could feel every small vibration threatening to cause the thing to fall down. I was also concerned that my rapidly changing skin colour was due some attention and decided to venture back to our trusty vehicle for some shade.

We headed back to Vegas where, after a quick change, we headed up to the 64th floor of Mertens hotel where we proceeded to demonstrate to all comers how to make a huge fuss over taking some simple Vegas skyline pictures. After several hundred shots had been taken the three amigos headed towards Fremont Street, the original downtown part of Las Vegas.

We arrived to discover a mass of bodies and we quickly realised where Jeremy Kyle was getting his guests from. It was a mass of noise and colour with a mass of people in fancy dress charging for photographs to be taken with them. Live bands were encouraging audience participation and we decided that our response would be to for a beer.

After several goes we returned to the mass of people many of who were probably still waiting for their residence permits to come through and suddenly bumped into Jim Kerr, lead singer of the band Simple Minds who had several big hits in the eighties. We exchanged pleasantries and he duly obliged in taking our photo before one of us asked him not to forget about us. Excellent!

We headed into another bar before deciding that it was time to head back to our hotel for a nightcap and discuss plans for the next day.